[Plankton humming]
- Oh, Planky-bear.
Plankton.
- [continues humming]
- Plankton!
- What?
What is it, Karen?
Can't you see I'm working here?
- Yes, but I wanted to show you
my new screen saver.
What do you think?
- Great.
- You didn't even look.
- [sighs] No, I didn't.
Can't you see I'm working on
my new molecular analyzer?
Now all I need is the smallest molecule of a patty,
and the formula will be mine!
- Just tell me if I should
permanently upload this screen saver!
- I said not...
[lever clicks, tube hisses] Now-ow-ow!
[screams]
[Plankton whooshes] Ow!
[loud smash]
[gasping]
[whimpers]
[shrieks]
[snaps, yelping]
[electricity zaps, Plankton screams]
[screaming]
- Analyzing.
30% mean guy,
20% spiteful monster,
50% evil butthead.
Sample is...
100% big jerk.
- [grunting, yelps]
- I have also analyzed
your screen saver, Karen.
It is most beautiful.
- No one asked you.
[loud smash]
Are you happy now, Karen?
- No, I'm not.
I was just trying to make myself pretty for you,
but do you even care?
All you ever do is make stupid schemes
about stupid sandwiches!
- Stupid?
Your new screen saver is stupid,
and it makes your processor look fat!
[explosions]
- What?
- Oop.
Okay, let's all calm down
before you say something you'll regret.
- You know what?
No one talks to me like that.
Get out!
- I will not get out.
This is my restaurant,
and no one can make me...
leave!
[thuds] Ow!
Karen, baby.
Come on, sugar lips,
you know I'm sorry for everything I said.
[portcullis thuds, Plankton yelps]
- I accept your apology.
- I wasn't talking to you, idiot!
[squishes, Plankton screams]
Pain!
Okay, Karen, fun is fun,
but it's time to let me back in.
Come on, I really need to use the potty!
[metal doors thud, lasers hum]
Fine, I don't need you or the Chum Bucket!
I got plenty of friends around here
who would love to take me in.
So is it cool if I crash here? - No.
- Then can I just use your bath room?
[thuds, yelps]
- Plankton, I know where this is going.
I'd love it if you'd stay with me!
- Are you crazy?
You're the most annoying sponge in the sea.
I wouldn't stay with you
if you were the last person in Bikini Bottom.
- [slurping]
- [whimpering]
- Suit yourself.
[slurping resumes]
- Okay, fine!
[grunting]
[toilet flushes]
Whew!
Much better.
Thanks for letting me use your bathroom.
- [laughs] Silly, that's not my bathroom.
- Well, in that case,
you're gonna need some new shoes.
- Oh, boy!
Does this mean you're gonna stay with me?
- Yes!
- Yeah!
[celebratory fanfare]
We're gonna be the best roommates ever!
Oh! Wanna do each other's hair?
[laughs] - Oh, forget this!
- [laughs]
- Oh, my love, what a fool I've been.
You've always been the only one for me.
[both smooching]
- [sniffling]
- Aw, Plankton.
I am so sorry that
Karen threw you out.
- Threw me out?
I threw her in!
- Hey, this is your safe place.
It's okay to talk about your feelings.
Oh, somebody's tense!
- Hey! What?
Get off!
Get--Oh!
[moaning, laughs]
Oh, that's the spot.
- Now, tell SpongeBob why you and Karen got into a fight.
- I don't know, I was just doing
the same things I always do.
- Well, if Karen threw you out
for doing the same things you always do,
maybe you should learn to not do
the same things you always do!
- But I'm the best.
- Well, sometimes you can get a little...
aggressive.
- Me, aggressive?
How dare you?
[smacking and grunting]
[panting]
Maybe you're right.
I can be a big jerk sometimes.
I command you to help me be a nicer person!
I mean, will you please,
please help me be a nicer person
so Karen will take me back?
- Plankton, in a word: yes!
- What is that dimwit doing here?
- Ahh! Oh, behind me!
Oh, get away!
- Will you stop that?
There's no one behind you!
You're the dimwit.
- Oh.
Thanks!
- All right, Plankton,
the first step to becoming a nicer person
is being thoughtful.
Try holding a door for someone.
It's simple, and it makes people happy.
Like this.
After you.
- [laughs] I'm happy, SpongeBob!
[smooches]
- [laughs]
- Can someone get me out of here?
Whew!
- All right, Plankton. Now you try!
- Fine, but if he kisses me, I'm gonna lose it.
- [humming]
- Ugh. After you.
[grunting]
[continues grunting]
Whoa!
- Try this one.
- After you.
- But I can't fit through there.
- How dare you reject my act of kindness!
Yah! - Ahh!
[Patrick thuds, Plankton smacks and grunts]
- Plankton, no!
- Can someone get me out of here?
- [Plankton smacks and grunts] - [sighs]
Okay, Plankton,
since you don't seem to be able to do something nice,
in this lesson you're going to learn
to say something nice.
- Easy!
- Great.
So turn to Patrick and say something nice.
- Say something nice.
- Uh...
Patrick, you are not a total moron.
Just half of one.
- No, try again.
- Fine.
Your color pink is not so repugnant.
- Thanks!
I like...um...
your antennas.
- What? What's wrong with my antennas?
- Plankton, Patrick was complimenting you.
- Yeah, right.
You two are mocking me!
[smacking and grunting]
- Hey, SpongeBob?
Do you think this is working?
- No, I think we better try something else.
- [grunting]
[gasps,panting]
It's no use, SpongeBob.
I'm just too brilliant to be nice.
I'll never get Karen back now.
- Oh, yes, you will!
We obviously can't fix your terrible insides,
but maybe, just maybe,
we can work on your terrible outsides.
Makeover time!
[scissors snipping]
[humming]
[laughs]
[cheerful music]
*
- Brother.
*
- [laughing gleefully]
**
- [grunting]
[crashing]
Forget it, SpongeBob.
Karen's the perfect woman:
so smart, so conniving.
Ah, she's never gonna take me back.
- Oh, yes, she is.
You just need to do something big.
Be vulnerable, be sweet.
Show Karen your heart.
- That's a great idea!
I'll cook up a scheme to make her jealous
and crush her spirit!
[laughs]
- That wasn't even close to what I said.
- Sure it was.
And I know just how to do it.
[mimics cat meow]
- Okay, I feel uncomfortable.
Plankton, are you sure about this?
- Of course I'm sure.
Now, start doing a robot voice.
Remember, you're not SpongeBob anymore;
you're Shelby Naughtica.
- [in robot voice] Oh, I like that!
Boop beep! Beep boop boop!
- Welcome to the Chum Bucket!
Oh.
It's you.
What do you want?
- Yes, hello.
I would like your most romantic table
for myself and my beautiful date,
Shelby Naughtica,
the robot.
- Beep boop! [laughs robotically]
- Hmm.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Shelby Naughtica, huh?
Oh, what a beautiful name.
- Thank you!
- [grunts] - Ow!
[in robot voice] I mean, thank you.
Whoa! Beep boop beep bo boop!
- I'll be right back with our lovers' special.
- [laughs]
This is going so great, SpongeBob!
Karen is totally jealous.
- Here we go.
I whipped up a special batch of chum for you,
and for your lovely robot date,
a bucket of grease chock-full of nuts and bolts.
- Plankton, I don't want to eat this!
- Don't you ruin this for me, SpongeBoob.
Just eat it!
[metallic clanging, clattering]
[both gulp]
Ugh.
[grunts]
Oh, my dear Shelby Naughtica,
you are the most beautiful woman
I've ever laid my eye on.
- Oh, Plankton-poo!
You say the sweetest things.
- [scoffs] Oh, brother.
- I never knew what love was until I met you.
- Oh!
You have made me the happiest girl robot in the world!
- Hey, you!
Get your hands off my man!
- You better step off, lady.
No one can make Plankton happy like I can.
We are soulmates, and we're going to get married
and print 1,347 babies.
- 1,000 what?
- Oh, well, you're really in love.
I won't stand in your way.
Plankton's all yours.
- Yeah!
- No!
The whole point of this scheme
was for me to get Karen back,
and now you're ruining it!
- Sorry, Plankton.
You just said such nice things to me.
- Wait a second.
You're not just being a jerk?
You mean, you cooked this whole
stupid scheme up to win me back?
- Of course I did.
I'd do anything for you, baby,
even hang out with this moron.
- Oh, that is so sweet!
- Get over here, you.
- [smooches]
Ew, it's that fat screen saver again.
- What?
[smacking] - Now, Karen, take it easy.
- I'm gonna go now. [smacking continues]
- My motherboard was right about you.
She warned me about you. - [yelping]
- And I should have listened to her.
[Plankton screams]