- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*
[waves crashing]
[cheerful ukulele music]
*
- [snoring]
[foghorn blares]
[mumbles indistinctly]
[crash]
- Meow, meow, meow, meow.
[grunting]
- Yeah, I am ripped.
- [grumbling meows]
- [mumbles]
- Meow!
Meow.
[snoring]
- [screaming]
Whoa!
[thud]
[eyes pop] [groans]
[screaming]
[steam hisses]
[screaming]
[clunk] [groans]
- Hey there, have you recently been involved in an accident?
Well, have you? - Well, yes. Yes, I have.
- Well, then you need life insurance.
- Life insurance?
- What? Is there an echo in here?
Do yourself a favor, kiddo.
Sign here, and you'll be protected.
- I--hmm? No. Um...no.
[rubber duck squeaks] Wait--no.
Wait-- - Here!
- Ah! Okay, thanks.
[pen squeaking]
- And while you're at it, clumsy, why not buy two?
- Okay. [pen squeaking]
- [laughs gleefully]
[knock at door] - Ooh!
[humming]
- Hey, SpongeBob! You're in your underwear.
That's cool.
I got your mail.
What is it?
[elastic stretches and pops]
- It's my life insurance. I got one for you too.
- Oh, boy! Life insurance!
[boinging] Life insurance!
[crash]
Life insurance!
What's life insurance?
- I'm not sure, but I think it means
that for the rest of our lives, we are protected.
We can't get hurt.
- Mm...
[chomping]
[spits] The contract tastes legitimate,
but I don't believe it.
- Well, let's try to get hurt, and we'll see.
- Ha! Well, finally, something I'm good at.
[both laughing]
[grunts] - Remarkable.
- [grunts]
- You can hit me all you want... - [grunts]
- Yet I can't be damaged.
This life insurance is really working.
- [grunts] I've become unbreakable!
[both laughing]
[relaxing music]
- Why, yes, I do race sea horses.
[squishy smash] [laughter and grunting]
Oh, I don't know if I'd call myself
an international playboy.
[laughter and grunting] [growls]
[both laughing] - [grunts]
- [laughs] [bonk]
- Just what are you two ignorami doing out here?
- We're trying to hurt each other.
- Oh! - Don't--hey--what the--
- You got a sea spider on your head.
- It's not a sea spider, you dope.
It's my hair.
both: Mm...
[bonking and laughter]
- Wait a second. Hurt each other?
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy seeing this.
- [laughs] [clunk]
- [laughs]
Whoa! [boing]
[both laugh]
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
I thought you said you were trying to hurt each other.
- Uh-huh, we're trying.
- Well, you're not gonna do any damage
with soft pillows.
Here, try this.
- Okay. - [screams]
- Squidward was wrong.
Didn't hurt him, just made him disappear.
- [groaning]
Ah! Sea spider!
[metallic smashing] [grunting]
Uh! [mumbles indistinctly]
- Oh--oh, no, Patrick, I'm slipping...
and falling! [screams]
[thud]
I didn't even break a bone!
- My turn!
[stammering] I'm losing my footing!
No!
I survived a deadly fall unhurt!
- Life insurance.
- Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
- What? I can't hear you!
- Hi-ya!
- Turn the volume up inside of your voice!
- I said-- [screams]
[mumbles indistinctly]
- Squidward, what were you yelling?
- I was trying to say
you got to fall from something higher.
- Sea spider!
[smashing and grunting]
[whistles buzzing]
- [startled mumbling]
[splash] Ah! My baby.
[grumbling]
[whistles buzzing] - Once again, I'm asking,
what are you doing? - It's our final test.
We're trying to get jellyfish to sting us
to prove we can't get hurt.
- What?
- [inhales deeply] [horn blares]
- Oh! Me! Me! Sting me! Over here!
- Sting me, sting me, sting me. - Blast me with your venom!
- Zap me with your pain juice!
- Sting me, please! - Sting me, sting me, sting me.
- You're the ones asking-- [zap]
[screams]
- Gee, Squidward, maybe you should get some life insurance.
[crusty cracking] - What are you yammering about?
- I bought some life insurance for Patrick and myself,
and now we can never be hurt.
- Yeah. To test out the life insurance,
we even built a super dangerous obstacle course
across the street.
- We call it The Sushi Maker.
[thunder booms]
Squidward, I think you need this more than I.
I would like to present you with my life insurance policy.
- [groans] - Actually, you better take two,
since you're kind of a klutz.
[thud] [grunts]
- Better take two? Life insurance?
[growls] You giblet heads!
No piece of paper can protect a person from getting hurt.
[both gasp] - [whimpers]
- Yay! It works!
- You're untouchable!
- Oh, that was a coincidence.
- Driving's hard.
[tires squealing]
- [screams]
[dramatic music]
both: Yay! Life insurance!
- You are magically protected.
-Whoo-hoo! - Whoo!
- Oh, it was luck! Dumb luck!
[thunder rumbling]
Look, I'll prove it. You stand here.
[zapping] [both wailing]
- Huh? Hmm? Oh.
- You see, Squidward? You're immune!
- You can't be hurt! - Yeah!
- You are a cast-iron Squidward.
both: Life insurance! Life insurance!
- Wow, I can't believe it,
but you two sub-geniuses were right somehow.
I can't be broken. I'm indestructible!
I am shatterproof!
Watch this. [pop]
[cheerful ukulele music]
[giggling]
- What you gonna do, Squidward?
- What does it look like?
I'm running into a...
[fabric tears] Wall!
*
- [gasps]
Yes. That's just what it needed.
I'll call the painting "One Hole."
Oh, it's genius!
[both panting] [fabric tears]
Ugh! Three holes?
That makes no sense!
- Did you see that?
I ran right through a brick wall.
I'm hard as nails!
Come on, world! Bring it on!
- Hmm. [panting]
- Oh, perfect.
- [slurping]
- Pfft. Big tough guy.
- What are you doing, Squidward?
- Just watch.
- [slurps] [grumbles]
- Enjoying your sherbert, Herbert?
- My name's not Herbert.
- Oh, I know it's not.
Your name is "Hey." What's your name?
[smack] - Hey!
- Told ya! Here, let me help you.
[wallop] - [groans]
- Funny, didn't feel a thing.
- Uh, Squidward, I don't think you should lick that.
It's got germs. - Ha! Germs can't hurt me.
Nothing can hurt me!
[germs screaming]
[whoosh]
[splat]
As a matter of fact,
do you know what I'm gonna do now?
I'm gonna run your super dangerous obstacle course.
You know why?
- Mm-mm. - No.
- Because now I've got moxie!
[both scream]
both: Wait, what's moxie?
[heavy metal music]
*
- [yawns]
*
[legs clattering]
- What goes on, boyos?
- Squidward is gonna try out The Sushi Maker.
- Why does he want to do that? - Oh, don't worry, Mr. Krabs.
He's got life insurance. He can't be hurt.
- That's not how life insurance works.
- It's not? - Course not!
Life insurance is money the beneficiary gets
when a person dies.
By the way, who gets the money?
- Well, let's see.
[slide whistle ascending]
No name here. - Hooray!
Hmm.
[pen clicks]
[mumbling] Eugene H. Krabs.
Go, Squidward!
Yay!
Fly high! Do or die!
Preferably the latter. [cackles]
- D-d-d-d-do or die?
Squidward, come down!
You're not invincible!
Life insurance is not what you think!
You were right! Oh, it was just dumb luck.
- Now I'm yelling too!
- Oh, what are those ninnies going on about now?
I can't hear you!
Just shut up and watch me.
[plop] Nah--hey!
- Come back, Squidward! Don't do this!
- Will you stop shaking it?
[screams]
[bubbles gurgling]
[screams]
[clunk]
[slide whistle ascends and descends]
[clunk]
[thud] [machine hisses]
No, no, no, no, no!
[sticky scrunches] [strained shouting]
[pop]
[wallops and groans]
*
[splatters and groans] [mechanical rattling]
Ow... Eeh! Eeh! Eeh!
[muffled shouting] [mechanical humming]
[cannon booms] [screams]
[clunk] [groans]
[bell ringing]
[thud] [grunts]
[kids chattering indistinctly] [squeaking and honking]
Ow...
- Hey, Squidward, guess what I learned today.
Apparently, a life insurance policy
doesn't protect a person from injury.
Heh, how about that? - Ha, how 'bout that?
[spits]
- Squidward, how did you survive The Sushi Maker?
[pop] [grunts]
It had to be this.
- Ah! both: Sea spider!
[both grunting]
[upbeat seafaring music]