all: Behold!
We are the Greek chorus.
We narrate this epic tale
of stupidity.
[upbeat music]
*
[clear throats]
Behold Neptune,
god of the sea,
with his mighty trident,
a weapon so powerful
nothing is beyond its user's reach.
Behold the Kraken.
- [snarling]
all: Gross monster.
- [snarling]
- [grunts]
- [grunting]
- [screaming]
all: Behold Neptune triumphant.
What an awesome dude.
Behold this idiot and beware,
for trident trouble comes.
- Sorry. - Eh.
all: See?
all chanting: Food! Food! Food!
Food! Food!
- Food! Food!
Oh.
- Hey, I was still reading that!
- [groans]
- Forget the stupid comic.
We've got a situation here.
We don't have any Krabby Patties,
and these animals are trying to eat us instead.
[chomp]
Hey, who's responsible for this?
- Get to flipping those patties fast, boy-o!
Before we all become the lunch special.
- I'm on it, Mr. Krabs.
[bowling pins rattling]
- [grunts]
- [sighs]
[straining]
Oh, the toppings haven't been prepped.
I wish this lettuce and tomato would just cut themselves up.
- Let's do this!
- Yeah, cut me up good, girlfriend.
[all grunting] - Huh.
I guess I did cut up the toppings after all.
- 37 Krabby Patties!
Fast! Ahhh!
- 37 patties?
How am I gonna flip 37 patties?
Huh, has my spatula always had three heads?
all: No!
And it is not a spatula.
- Get them patties out here fast, SpongeBob!
Ahh!
- Well, I wish these Krabby Patties
would just serve themselves so I could keep cooking.
[magical music]
- Hey!
- Yay!
- Yeah!
[all cheering]
- Whoa, my spatula never did that before.
all: Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!
Krabby Patty!
- [laughs]
- [straining] Huh?
*
- [giggles]
- [laughing]
[both laughing]
- Mmm.
- Huh?
[laughing]
I don't know how you're doing this, boy-o,
but keep it up.
Folks will pay every cent they have
to watch Krabby Patties dance.
Look at how cute they are.
- Hey. - Oh!
- Whoo! - Whoo-whee!
- We're running out of them dancing patties.
Faster, boy-o! Faster!
- [panting]
Dance! Come on, dance!
I'm trying, Mr. Krabs. I'm trying.
Come on, you, work!
- [grumbling]
all: The sponge has angered the trident.
Trouble comes.
- [groaning]
- Ahh! [angry grumbling]
- Ah.
- [giggles]
- [snarling]
Ahh!
- [growls]
[all screaming]
- No!
This is gonna cost me money!
- Mr. Krabs, I wish you wouldn't worry about money
at a time like this.
- [groans]
Right you are, boy-o.
Here, take this. Here you go.
I can't stop!
[both screaming]
- There you go. What's happening to me!
- What is going on around here?
- Ahem.
- Hey, what's this?
Whoa!
My spatula is magic.
all: Magic, magic, magic.
- This is awesome.
I will use this magic spatula to help everyone.
[humming]
- I'll have two, please.
- [crying]
- [whistling]
[gasps] I'll help you, baby!
Boing!
[whistles]
- [crying]
- What's wrong, grass? Why won't you grow?
Talk to me.
Oh. Mm.
- We'll do more than just talk to yous.
Let's see how you like getting mowed.
- Ahhh!
- There is no problem I cannot solve,
for I am SpongeBob, Emperor of the Sea.
[triumphant music]
Hey, get outta here, you pesky jellyfish!
all: Whoa, slow your roll.
Only Neptune, true ruler of the sea,
can control the trident.
- [laughs]
- So I say, "Look, Zeus,
"either you come up with more money
or Neptune walks."
- [chuckles]
- There he is, ma.
That's the man who hit me.
[sobs]
- Don't cry, baby.
Mother will handle this.
[snarls]
- Let us battle!
Take that!
- Huh?
This is dry-clean only, you monster!
- Ooh. Huh?
"Property of SpongeBob"?
- [snarls]
- Uh-oh.
[screams]
- Hey, SpongeBob.
You look so sparkly today.
- Of course I do, for I am SpongeBob,
Emperor of the Sea.
[triumphant music]
- Oh.
No! My ice cream!
Ohh, why is the world so full of pain?
[sobs]
- Fear not, bestest of friends.
You shall have all the ice cream you could ever eat.
all: No, you'll only make it worse.
[upbeat jingle]
[music sputters, stops]
- Ahhh! Best day ever!
- No, worst day ever.
Oh, my back.
all: See?
- I can fix this.
- Hooray!
- Boo!
- I think I know a way to make you both happy.
all: You really don't.
How do you not get that by now?
- An ice cream geyser!
Ahh!
Brain freeze!
I can't eat it all.
Ah, I've never been more disappointed in myself.
[dramatic music]
[all screaming]
- Ooh, I like choc--
- Oh, the creamy, delicious horror.
- Save us, SpongeBob!
Save us!
No wait.
Okay, now save us!
- Stop, ice cream! Stop! Stop!
- Hmm?
[rumbling]
[both scream]
- Oh, I just made it worse.
Patrick, I've ruined everything.
- Oh, SpongeBob, I wouldn't say that.
- Our baby!
- I'll never mow you again!
- Take me money! - Ow!
Okay, SpongeBob, you ruined everything.
- No sponge should have this much power.
all: We told you so.
- Not helping.
- Well, maybe I can help.
I believe I have something of yours.
- My spatula!
Then what's this?
- That is my trident!
- Well, take your trident. I don't want it anymore.
Whoa! Stop! That wasn't me.
all: Too long away from its true master,
the trident has run wild.
- What a jerk.
- [laughs]
- Sorry. Pardon me.
It stuck!
- [grunting]
- Ahh! Make it stop!
[triumphant music]
*
- You have been one naughty trident.
- [whimpers]
- Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
- [panting]
- Now let's see if we can fix all of this.
- Give me back me money.
- [baby cooing]
- Mow us good!
- You know, SpongeBob, your spatula is just as powerful
as my trident.
- Really?
- Ha! Not even close!
[laughs]
But it's still pretty great.
- Thanks for bailing me out, Neptune.
If there's any way I can ever help you,
just let me know.
- Well, there is one way.
There they are!
- [snarling]
[both gasp]
- Let's get 'em!
[yelling]
- [growls]
- [whimpers]