- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*
[waves crashing]
- [humming]
Sorry about this barnacles, but it's spring cleaning time.
- I forgive you.
[whirring]
I take it back! [screaming]
- There, my masterpiece. [yelling]
What the--ahh!
- [yelling]
- Ah, perfect.
No! [grunting]
What is that menace up to now?
[grunting]
How many-- [grunting]
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Will you please turn that thing--
- Oh, hey, Squidward.
- [grunting]
- What are you saying?
- [grunting]
kids: Yay!
- I can't hear you over the hose noise.
Hold on, I'll turn it off.
kids: Aww.
- [grunting]
- What's you want to tell me, Squidward?
- Turn off the hose.
- I already did. Here, I'll turn it back on just for you.
- No, no, no. wait-- [grunting]
- Yep, it was off. How'd I do?
- Horrible! Everything you do is horrible!
I wish you would just move away already.
- Move away? But Squidward, I like it--
[sneezes]
- [grunting]
- Did you see that? Huh, I wonder what's making me sneeze.
- Ahh!
Probably all the barnacle dust you kicked up.
- Oh, Squidward, that makes no sense.
Who ever heard of dust making you sneeze?
- Oh, fine, maybe you're allergic to your pineapple.
- [laughing] You can't be allergic to a house.
[sniffs] [chuckles]
Or could you-- no. [laughing]
- [chuckles]
Oh, why do I even bother trying to explain things to him?
Of course you can be allergic to a house.
I ju--wait.
You can be allergic to a house.
[chuckles]
- [snoring]
- [chuckles]
[grunting]
Ah, ah, ah. [stifled sneeze]
[both snoring]
- Ah. [sneezes]
- [growls and hisses] - Gary, no, no, no, no!
- [howling] [both grunting]
- Aww, playtime, that's nice.
[both grunting]
[horn blaring]
- [sneezes]
- [meows] - Good mor--
good mor--[sneezes]
good--[sneezes]
Good morning, Gary.
[sneezes]
Ahh!
[sneezes]
Ah--ah--ah-- [sneezes]
Ahh!
- You okay in there, SpongeBob? [chuckles]
- Oh, morning--[sneezes]
Morning, Squidwa-- [sneezes]
- Oh my, having a little sneezing fit are we?
- Yeah, I think you were right. I must be allergic to my house.
- Oh, that's too bad. I guess you'll have to move.
- Move? - Yes. You can't stay here
or your allergy will just get worse.
Hey, look at that. - Look at what?
[sneezes] - See?
Your allergy is already getting worse.
- But--but where will I go? - Don't worry, SpongeBob.
I'll help you find a great new home...
far away from here.
- But, Squidward, I love this old pineapple.
We've had a lot of good times together.
Whee!
- [laughing]
[laughter]
- [sneezing]
Oh, Squidward, my sneezing is getting worse.
I'll miss my pineapple, but I guess you're right.
I ha--[sneezes] I have to move.
- Now you're talking.
Trust me, you'll feel so much better
when you're clear of me-- your pineapple.
- Squidward, you're a good friend.
- I know.
- This would make a great new house, what do you think?
- Eh.
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a banana under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Whoa! I don't know.
- How about this spicy number?
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a hot pepper under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - [grunting]
- Hot listing, but no.
- Well, there's a yummy one. - Mmm.
- * Ohh...
Who lives in a chicken parmesan hero under the sea?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- [chuckles]
Nope.
- How 'bout this one?
- Not bad, but let's think outside the box.
- Okay, so that's a no.
I think I know what you're looking for.
How about this for space?
- Hey, what's this lever do? - [grunts]
- Automatic balconies! - [grunts]
- Squidward, watch this. - Wait, wait, no, no, no!
[grunting]
- Hey, Squidward, this is great. What does this button do?
- [yelling] - [laughing]
- [groaning]
- That's what it does.
Aww, why couldn't I live in that last place?
- Oh, that house was too dangerous for you. Ow.
Besides, it was just a house.
But this is a castle with a moat and everything.
It's a long way from Bikini Bottom.
- I know. - Huh?
- I mean, don't worry about it.
It's a short 11-hour commute to the Krusty Krab from here.
- Well, I don't know, Squidward.
It doesn't seem like the safest neighborhood.
- All right, SpongeBob, this is the last house on my list,
but I think it's got everything you're looking for.
What do you think?
- I don't know. It doesn't look like much.
both: Wow.
- Pretty!
- [grunts]
This place is amazing.
It's like living in the future.
- Ooh, check out these cool stairs.
Whee!
- Uh, SpongeBob? - Whee!
- [grunting] - Squidward? Squidward?
[both grunting]
- This place is awesome.
[back cracking] - Yeah, it is, isn't it?
I can't believe I get to live here.
It's so much cooler than your house.
- [grunting] You're right.
This place is way too cool for you.
- Wait, what? - I mean, living in a place
like this can put a lot of pressure on a guy.
The constant attention you get,
and all the fabulous parties you'd host.
[playing flute]
Eh? - Oh, it's quite good.
- Certainly worthy of this house.
- [whimpering] - Indeed.
- Not to mention all the covers
of "Cool Calamari" you'd have to pose for.
No, I can't let you go through that, SpongeBob.
So I tell you what, I'll live here for you.
- Yeah, but where will I live? - You can have my old house.
- Really? That is so nice of you.
That way I'll be one house closer to Patrick.
- Great, it's a done deal.
So if you don't mind, I have a lot of settling in to do.
Bye-bye. - Okay, so I guess
I'll see you la--
- [sighs] Now this is how I was always meant to live.
[chuckles and yawns]
Bedtime.
Oh, a built in alarm clock. Hoo, this place has got it all.
[beeping]
[snoring]
[horns blaring] - Ten, nine, eight...
Wha--what's happening? - Seven, six, five...
- Oh, no. It's not an alarm clock.
It's a countdown! - Four, three, two, one.
- [screaming]
Huh? What--what the-- uh.
That was horrible.
But this is even worse!
Ahh!
- Doink. Now this really feels like home.
Ahh!
- [groaning]
- Squidward, you dropped in for a visit.
- I am not visiting.
This is my house and I want it back.
- Sorry, Squidward, but you gave it to me fair and square...
pants.
Besides, if I move out now, I have no where to go.
- Okay, fine, I'll just take your old pineapple.
Huh?
- Sorry, Squidward, but this is my house now.
[chomps]
- Well, then, where am I supposed to live?
- Night, Squidward. - [grumbles]
[sneezes] Ow.