- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*
[waves crashing]
[jazzy suspenseful music]
*
[dramatic jazzy flourish]
[bbbbbbbb]
- [whimpering]
[brakes screeching] [overlapping chatter]
- Ah! - Oh!
I suggested having this lesson in the cemetery
because I thought you couldn't kill anyone here.
But now I'm afraid you're disturbing the dead!
[engine revs]
[splotch] [gasps] Before they bury me,
get me to a pay phone.
[muffled cries]
I need to call another instructor for you.
I just...can't... take it anymore!
[tires screeching]
[Mrs. Puff whimpering]
both: Aah! Ah! Uhh!
- Huh? You stopped in front of the prison?
Never mind! Any place is better than in this boat with you!
[muttering, whimpering]
[alarms blaring] [overlapping shouting]
[suspenseful music]
- What are ya waiting for? Step on it!
- You must be the new driving instructor.
[alarms continue blaring] [shouting continues]
Student driver. That's me.
I just don't take a bad picture, do I?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm your new driving instructor.
- Great! Look at how I can tune the radio.
[static]
- Breaking News! both: Huh?
- Notorious criminal Sticky Fins Whiting
has just escaped from prison.
- Very good radio tuning skills.
Now, drive as fast as you can!
[alarms continue blaring]
- Stop! SpongeBob!
Come back!
[gasps] I can't believe I said that!
[engine revs, brakes squeal]
- Sticky Fins, where are you?
I can't be that late.
- Follow that sponge!
- You ain't Sticky Fins.
- And you ain't a chocolate cake!
Now, step on it!
- Yes, ma'am! Dorsal Dan at your service!
[police alarms blaring] [wheels screeching]
[exciting music]
- [grunts] Oh! Oh!
Crater-face! We're being followed. Lose that tail!
- I thought it'd made me look cool.
Guess not.
- Not that tail! The cops behind us!
Drive crazy!
- Ohhhhhh, that I can do!
[clattering]
[pop]
[humming]
[creak, pop] Yah-ha-ha-ha!
Oh, yeah!
[exciting music]
*
- Wow! He's driving like a psycho!
Who taught him how to drive?
- [nervous giggle]
- [sucking sounds] Good baby?
- Waaaaaahhhhh!
*
- Gosh! [sputtering]
- [British accent] I say, how's my automobiling?
- [British accent] Simply smashing.
[normal voice] You're simply smashing into things!
[low chatter]
[all screaming]
Let's see what's on the menu!
Oh! I'll take those.
all: Hmm?
[Sticky Fingers grunts]
[light music]
*
- Oh! Oh-ohhh!
- Excuse me sir, I'm in the middle of a driving lesson.
- Aah!
- Look out, you maniac!
[tires squeal] [bang]
[all screaming]
- You're going the wrong way! Turn this thing around!
- You got it! Turning around!
[drivers screaming]
- Oh, you're a great instructor! What now?
- Just...go with the flow.
[light, suspenseful music]
- Looks like they shook us. Don't worry, we'll find them.
- They'll probably revoke my teacher's license for this.
- Hey, I'm a teacher too! I teach all kinds of things.
Safe cracking, burglary, getaway driving.
- [giggles] I did notice you're a very good driver.
- Ha ha, you ain't such a bad passenger yourself.
[clicks tongue] - [giggles] Oh, my!
[dramatic chords]
- Here's your next test. Follow me.
Distracted drivers are dangerous.
I want you to distract that salesman in the store.
- I don't understand how this is gonna help with my driving.
- It's, uh... abstract thinking.
- Hey, I've heard of that!
- Welcome!
- Distract with the abstract.
[snaps]
[making silly noises]
- Hey, shapes and noises! I love it!
[SpongeBob continues making noises]
- [chuckling]
[chuckling] [noises continue]
[beep beep]
[suspenseful jazzy music]
- What's the next lesson?
- The nearest electronics store.
- Oh, you really know how to challenge a guy.
[police sirens wailing]
- Help! Help! I've been robbed!
- I've shopped in that place before,
and I've been robbed too.
[both laughing]
- What now, beautiful? - I wouldn't mind
seeing you navigate a four-way stop.
- Romance always has the right of way.
- Oh, my!
[engine revving]
[light music plays]
- Ah! Wha--
Oop.
[random sounds continue]
Whoa!
[seat mechanism whining]
[click] [mechanism whining]
[intense percussive music]
*
- I need to launder these bills--fast!
- I know just the place!
But first, let me adjust your seat.
- Ooh!
Hey! What's the big idea?
[tires screech]
[SpongeBob laughing, making noises]
[exciting music]
*
- What is wrong with you?
- I think your sponge should be around here somewhere.
- [gasps] I didn't even feel you slow down.
You've got such a gentle foot on the pedal.
- Gosh. No one's ever said I had a gentle foot before.
- Oh-ho.
Oh! Oh!
[giggling]
[gasps]
SpongeBob!
[horn beeping]
- Why's that jerk honking?
Go! Drive!
- Sorry about your gentle foot!
Hi-yah! - Hey--Owww!
- Oh!
Ooh, driving Range!
- Oh--oh!
*
- How's my driving?
[bonk] - Oh!
Doh-doh-doh-doh-doh--
- Doh! That kinda hurts, don't ya think?
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Pfffffttt!
For the love of Neptune, let's get outta here!
- [hums] Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh!
[sniffs]
Oh, yeah.
- Aah! Ha ha!
[whomp]
Ooh!
Ow!
*
Oh! [dinging]
[teeth clattering]
Ooh--ow! [sobbing]
Aaaaaaaah!
[sobbing]
I just wanna know...
what'd I ever do to deserve this?
- Would you like to test me on road signs now?
Let's see... [Sticky Fins continues sobbing]
"Stop,"
"No Left Turn,"
and that one over there that says
"Falling Rocks!!!"
- Wait, what? Ooh!
[wham] Oof!
[loopy music]
[bam] Whoa!
- Mm-mm-mm-mm--
[engine revs] Oh!
- Aaaaahhhh!
[sirens wailing]
[exciting music]
*
- [gasps] SpongeBob!
- Mrs. Puff!
- Sticky Fins!
- Dorsal Dan!
Help meeeee!
- Hey, Mrs. Puff! The new instructor's been
teaching me so much. Not as much as you.
But y'know, different things.
- SpongeBob, you gotta keep your eyes on the road!
- He hasn't taught me that one yet!
Oh!
- Oh! - Ah!
[exciting music]
- Ah! Get me outta here!
[growling]
- Aww, you must be hungry.
I've got some of Gary's Snail Snacks.
[sirens wailing]
- This is the police. Pull over!
[exciting music]
- Right turn! Make a right turn!
- Aye, aye, professor!
*
[whomp]
Yes! I'm back!
[kissing] Thank Neptune!
Don't let me out ever again!
It's not safe out there!
Lock me away! Forever, and ever!
all: Huh?
- Warden, I found this one pulling up outside the prison.
- Dorsal Dan! The notorious getaway driver.
Toss him in the clink!
[jazzy musical flourish]
- [crying] I'll wait for you,
my little tenderfoot!
[sobbing]
- Aaaaaah!
Whoa!
Hey, where'd the new instructor go?
Oh, well, I still have ten minutes left
on my driving lesson.
[singsong] Oh, Mrs. Puff?
- [whimpering]
Oh...waaaah!
I'll confess to anything!
Throw away the key!
It's not safe out here!
Let me in!
all: Drive safely, and always wear your seat belt!