- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- ♪ Ohh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
♪
[waves crashing]
[slack-key guitar music]
♪
- Oh. Mm...
[moans]
Oh.
- Karen, I--
- [gasps] Oh, sorry, Planky-bear.
I'm just a little distracted
waiting for our baby to be delivered.
- Oh, well, that makes sense.
A baby?
I don't want a baby.
- It's too late to stop it now.
It's been nine months
and the baby is no longer on back order.
- Can we ask for store credit instead?
Ah.
[whimsical music]
[doorbell rings] - My baby's here.
Ah! [guffaws]
- Not if I have anything to say about it.
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
[alarm blares]
[whirs]
[bell rings]
♪
[beam zaps]
- [chuckles]
- [giggles] - [squeals joyfully]
Oh, Planky-Poo, look how cute our baby is.
- Oh, please, that thing isn't even a graphing calculator.
Weak. - Oh, come on.
How can you look at our baby's itty wittle keyboard
and say he's not the cutest?
[gasps] I have the perfect name for him.
Well, don't you wanna know the name?
- Not really. - It's Chip.
He's named after my grandfather.
Oh. - [crying]
- [groans] Great.
Here we go with the crying.
Will you please hush that thing up?
- Oh. [indistinct baby talk]
- [groaning]
[Chip stops crying] Mm?
- There you go. All better.
- Wow, how did you do that so fast?
- Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5
in his cute little keyboard.
- I don't get it.
[tranquil music] - Shhh.
- [groans]
At least it can't get more annoying.
- [giggles] Hello.
[giggles]
[audience cheers and claps]
- [groans]
- [giggles] A little drone told me
you two are new parents.
So I just had to bring over a little present for the baby.
Hello, baby. - [giggles]
- Oh, I think little Chip likes you.
- Obviously not the brightest diode in the box.
- Look, Chip, your uncle SpongeBob
got you a little something.
It's a can of compressed air
to keep your keys nice and clean,
like this. Ah.
- [grunts] Phew.
[grunts]
- [giggles] Ah!
[giggles]
[bubbling]
- [beeping]
- Come on, walk to Mommy.
- [babbles] - That's it.
You can do it.
You're walking, baby.
- [chuckles] You call that walking?
This is walking.
[upbeat music]
This is how you do it.
This is how it's done.
- [giggles, babbling]
[screeching lightly]
- Ah! Mama's big boy is upgrading.
- [laughs]
- Aw.
- [humming]
Whoa, ah. [grunts]
[screams]
[grunts, coughs]
This stinks.
- Let's see if we can find some friends
for Mama's special little boy.
You need to interface with someone fun.
Try that videogame over there.
It doesn't look too dangerous.
- [squeals]
[graphics beep]
- Oh.
[zapping]
Careful, Chip.
Uh, those monsters are too big.
Come out of that game right now.
[dramatic music]
Chip, get out of there.
[grunting]
[slack-key guitar music]
♪
- [laughs] So you think you can do whatever you want
because you're a teenager now.
You just wait until I tell your father.
- [screeches]
- What did you just say to me?
- [groans]
[bubbling]
- I told Chip that game was too dangerous,
and do you know what he said to me?
[screeches]
- And?
- [groans]
Just talk to your son. I need to cool my circuits.
[playful music]
- Ooh, uh, hey, buddy.
Heh, what you doing?
- Eh...
- Yeah, I hear you.
So, uh, what happened at the arcade?
- [mimicking weapons shooting]
[mimics dolphin clicking, groans]
- What?
Your mother stopped your game,
even though you were crushing it?
Your mother clearly doesn't get you, man.
But I have the perfect solution to your problem.
Run away.
- Huh?
- Yes, I said run away.
Take off, see the world.
You do you.
- [beeping]
- Eh, now get out of here, you little scamp.
♪
[humming]
- So, how was your talk with Chip?
- Oh, it went great. He's a good boy.
- Yeah, he wh--where-- where is he?
- Oh, he ran away. - What?
Why would my baby run away?
- Because I told him to. Duh.
- [groaning] Ah! [powers whirring]
- [screams]
- [grunts]
[dramatic music]
- [screams]
[grunts] Karen, baby,
let's be reasonable here.
- You find our son and bring him home this instant
or don't bother coming home.
- [screams] I'm going, I'm going!
[bubbling]
[overlapping chatter]
Chip, Chip.
Where are you, boy?
Come to Daddy.
Ugh, what am I saying?
Chip, Chip.
- Psst, hey, kid, you lost?
- Meh.
- Running away from home, huh? Cool.
Why don't you come hang with me and my buddies?
Oh, don't be scared. In here.
Check it out, guys.
I found us a new friend.
both: [whirring]
[spring boings]
- [whirring]
- [indistinct]
- I know, right? It is cool here.
There's just one thing.
If you wanna be part of us,
we're gonna need your parts.
- [beeps]
- [whirring inquisitively]
Uh-oh.
[squeals]
[menacing music]
♪
- [giggles]
- [beeps alarmingly]
- Oh, come on, kid, don't be like that.
We've all done it.
Get him!
- [screams]
- [beeps]
- [grunts]
♪
[groans, beeping]
♪
[screeches]
- Chip, your mother's gonna kill me if I can't find you.
- [screech] - Huh?
[antennae beep] [gasps]
That's him. He's in trouble.
Don't worry, son. Daddy is coming.
Get away from my son.
- [groans] [saw whirs]
- Mm?
Get away from me!
[screams]
- Father.
[groans]
Leave my father alone.
- Your first word was father.
Wait until I rub this in Karen's face.
[chuckles]
[heroic music]
- [groans]
[tires squeal]
[mimics shooting]
- Oh.
♪
- No! The delicious horror.
Ah!
[bubbling]
- Oh, you should've seen it, Karen.
Chip was all like, "Stay away from my Daddy,
"who is the most brilliant, handsome genius in the world."
- Oh, brother.
- Aw, we had got the best kid ever.
[giggles]
- [whirs, beeps]
[slack-key guitar music]
- Oh! [giggles]
Aw.
- Come on, son, let your old man buy you
a quart of oil.
Whoo-hoo! [giggles]
Yes.
- Sorry, Dad, I'd love to, but I'm leaving for college.
- I went to college.
both: [sobbing]
♪
- [whirs, beeps]
♪
- Eight semesters later...
[lively music]
- [humming] - [chuckles]
Ouch, watch it, Karen.
We don't want Chip to know we're spying
on his first day at work.
- [whistling]
[beeping]
- Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
- [giggles]
[cash register rings]
Mm? Hmm...
[groaning, grunting]
[playful music]
Hey, what...? [groaning]
Ah. Hey.
Give me my money.
[sobbing]
- [laughs] That's my boy.
[tranquil music]
♪