- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
[wacky upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [gulping nosily]
- [groaning]
- [slurping and popping]
- [grunting]
[plate squeaking] - [moaning]
- [groaning]
- [belching]
- [growling fiercely]
[steam whistle blows]
[screams]
Another rotten day at the Krusty Krab!
[silence]
[all chomping nosily]
Not that anyone's listening.
Huh?
- I'm listening, Squidward. Tell SpongeBob your troubles.
[giggles]
[microphone squeals]
- [sighs] If you must know,
I'm stuck in a dead-end job working at this grease trap.
- [slurping]
- My tentacles hurt.
And I live next door to the number one
most annoying neighbor in Bikini Bottom.
[grumbles]
- Whoo! Number one!
- One more annoying thing, and I'm gonna lose it.
- [whimpers]
[grumbling]
- [sighs] And there it is.
- Your Krabby Patty meal, sir.
- Huh?
Ew!
Fingernails.
[overlapping chatter]
- That's worse than a hair!
- [gulping]
- [screams]
- Ew.
- SpongeBob, would you stop biting your nails?
- Oh, Squidward, I never bite my nails.
- What do you call that?
- [yelps] Oh.
- Ugh, nail-biting is a disgusting bad habit,
so quit it!
- I promise not to bite my nails ever again.
- Ahem!
- [laughs] Oops.
I guess biting my nails has become a bad habit.
Oh, breaking this nail-biting habit'll be a snap.
[chewing nosily]
Just have to keep my nails away...
From my mouth.
Simple.
Huh? Ugh...
[chewing nosily]
I need a plan B.
[light whimsical music]
♪ ♪
There, now my nails are too pretty to bite.
Huh?
[chomping]
- [meows]
- [groans]
Oh.
- [meows] - What's that?
Oh, what a great idea, Gary.
A walk would really clear my head.
[light playful music]
[humming]
- [meows]
- [sniffs]
Ah, I just needed a breath of fresh water.
[sniffs] Ah.
[chomping]
[yelps]
That'll take care of it.
[groans]
Oh, don't do it.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Well...I do'd it.
[giggles]
Time for stronger measures.
All right, self, let's see ya get out of that one.
[grunting]
- Whoa, SpongeBob, are you okay?
- [gasp] Fred, your nails.
They're so...beautiful.
- Aw, thanks. I really pride myself on--
- [chomping]
- My nails!
- [laughing] Must bite nails.
[laughs menacingly]
- [humming] Give me the works, Ethel.
Ugh, my nails are in terrible shape.
[moans]
Ooh, that feels good.
- [chomping] - [stammering] Ethel,
you know I like to keep my nails long--
[shouting]
SpongeBob!
- So when should we schedule your next appointment?
- [growls]
- Whoa!
- [slurping]
- [groans] - SpongeBob!
Trying out a new look with your face?
- [chomping] - I like it!
- Oh, Patrick, I can't stop...
biting my fingernails.
- Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Ha! I know just what you need!
[laughs]
[humming]
[people screaming]
Glove World makes me forget all my troubles...
and my name.
- You're right.
I've forgotten all about biting my...
nails!
[howling]
[shouts]
- Huh.
- Hey you, gimme that.
Knuckle 22 to base.
We've got a nail-biter in Pinky Land.
[both shouting]
- [chomping] I think--I think...
I need help. [chomping]
- [line trills] Cheeks residence.
- Sandy!
[chomping] [bell dings]
- Hmm.
- [chomping] [bell dings]
- Aww.
- [chomping] [bell dings]
- Don't worry, SpongeBob.
We'll stop your nail-biting habit quicker than
a jet-powered jackrabbit!
This'll keep your fingers out of your kisser.
- I sure hope so.
- Ah. - Mmm.
- [groaning]
- Oh...uh-uh.
Tell me he ain't doing what I think he's doing.
- Oh, he's good.
- [chomping]
- SpongeBob, that's just plain wrong.
I guess we're gonna have to watch you
like Mr. Krabs watches his bank account!
- [giggles]
- Huh?
- [grumbles]
Oh!
[both snoring]
What, what? Where'd he go?
[unintelligible shouting]
- [chomping] Hi, Sandy.
- It's high time we got you some professional help.
This doctor's the best hypnotherapist
in Bikini Bottom.
He'll sort out your bad habit.
- The doctor will see you now, Mr. SquarePants.
- Oh, please relax, Mr. SquarePants.
Now, what seems to be the trouble?
- Doctor, I can't stop...
I can't stop...
I can't stop biting my nails!
I don't know what to do.
[chomping]
- Well, let us take a peek into your subconscious
and see what is causing your problem.
Keep your eyes on the watch, Mr. SquarePants.
Watch the watch, Mr. SquarePants.
- Watch the watch... Watch the watch...
[woozily] Watch the watch.
- What seems to be troubling you, Mr. SquarePants?
- I can't stop... biting my...
nails.
- Why do you want to bite your nails?
- Stuck in dead-end job.
Work in a grease trap.
- Go on.
- Tentacles hurt.
- Tentacles? Hmm, interesting.
- Neighbor...SpongeBob...
annoying.
- But aren't you SpongeBob, Mr. SquarePants?
- No...I am Squidward.
- [gasp] Mr. SquarePants!
Obviously, you have subconsciously
internalized Mr. Squidward's problems as your own.
When I snap my fingers, you'll realize
you are not Squidward. You are SpongeBob,
and your desire to bite your nails will--
Poof! Disappear.
[snaps fingers] - [gasps]
Am I cured?
- Yeah, you are cured.
- Whoopee! Thanks, Doctor...
Doctor...
Hans!
[gasps]
Giant, delicious fingernails!
- [shouts] Mr. SquarePants, please!
- Doctor Hans, I'm here for my weekly
appointment--
- [chomping]
- I'm going to need therapy for my therapy...