You can take people out of Punjab,
but you cannot take Punjab out of people.
When I look too hot, I just feel too awesome
When I look so hot, I feel awesome.
You will be f***ed now!
Heh?
You know that girl from your office?
She is going to prove that
you are all lower standards.
Should I send an S.O.S to Amrit?
You all have been blessed by God to receive a discount of 30%.
That won't count.
I can buy people like you with a snap of my finger.
Stay in your limits.
Now this is what we call an "actual party".
Neel Subramaniam is here.
This is the non-stop ‘Neel’ card.
Take this, shop for yourself,
and by the way, it's all free.
Aditya.
Hi, Puneet!
You are too sweet.
It feels like home.
Feels like home?
Yes!
The one who I would like to take home.
Sorry, but I am not that kind of a girl. I should just go.
Sorry! Sorry!
I meant to introduce you to my mom.
Oh!
Totta! Desi Rockstar.
I wanted to be a part of Toda’s universe and not Waspar's fragrance.
Motherf...
Mother. Father.
My parents are upstairs.
He is Angad, right?
What to do man,
I never fell in love with any woman after you.
Our story is now over.
Don't start it again.
Sometimes I feel that,
one day we all will just end our lives suffering like this.
[Punni] 'I have his number.'
'I met him at the last party.'
- Hey! - Hi.
Punni, you should've worn some bigger shades, right?
More glamorous and classy..
For the past two hours, I've just been greeting people...
...I'm so bored! I don't know, how does Akaash do it?
Amrinder.
I'm going to use your tip today, of giving compliments.
- I have all the compliments ready today. - Ooh... Very good!
But, Amrinder, thanks a ton for making us your plus three. What a party, dear!
- Anytime. - Seriously. Every corner of this party..
...is filled with influential people.
Industrialists, business tycoons, actors...
It's not that great!
Doesn't this crowd look a bit too old?
Punni, power and money take time to arrive.
[Amrit] 'But then there are always some exceptions.'
Hmm... Like the guy right there.
He seems quite young.
- You girls don't know Shiv Suri? - No.
Come on, girls. He is the only Indian soccer player...
...who is playing in an International League.
-[Noor] 'What?' -[Amrit] 'He's just returned from Brazil.'
Soccer!
He is already a play-boy and we haven't even entered the game yet!
- Please! - Very funny!
- Be quiet. - Well, I think, he's pretty hot... this 'soccer' player.
- Ten on ten, guys. - Don't be so desperate, Lovely.
Don't you think he is a bit too young for you?
Come on, Punni!
You know, such a huge contract has never been bagged by an Indian soccer player.
- So... - Relationship status?
Freshly served.. with a heartbreak on the side, madame.
- Only for you. - Damn!
- Who is his ex-girlfriend? - I don't know.
Apparently, some French girl. He is still hung up on her.
What's her name?
Why don't you just take her resume, sister?
Just take her resume!
By the way, why are we wasting time?
Let's just do some mixing and fixing for Lovelle.
Come on! On a mission.
Follow me.
That goal of yours in the last six seconds...
- What an amazing... - Absolutely amazing!
- Gosh! So hot! - Hey, Amrit.
Hi, Mr. Goenka. How are you?
- Absolutely fine. - I wanted to introduce you to my girls.
They all work in Walter Financial Services.
And that is Mr. Goenka, CEO of Brands Band.
India's biggest celebrity endorsements are handled by his company.
- Hi. - And of course, this is the very famous Shiv Suri.
His talent is legendary.
- Shiv, these are my girls. - Hi. - Hi.
- Hello. - Hi.
- I really like your shades. - Thank you.
- And I like yours. Ah... - Umm... Lovelle.
Wow! What a beautiful name!
- So French. - Thanks!
- Can I get you a drink? - Yeah! Sure let's...
Oh! It's so hot. I think I need a drink.
Oh! Let me get you one, Gabriel.
Oh! Thank you, Rob.
- You're so sweet! - By the way, she's Amrit and her friends.
- Hi! - Oh, yeah! Akaash's girl.
[Gabriel] 'I know.'
And you must be Mr. Goenka.
You did the last Pro Sports deal, didn't you?
And you are.. Shiv!
[Gabriel] 'The one who's taking over my country.'
And you are gonna take on ours, with the way you look.
[Goenka] 'I should get you some brand endorsements, too.'
Mr. Goenka, she can buy all those brands and put them up on shelves.
[Robby] 'That's Gabriel!'
'And she owns the top agency in Brazil.'
- 'Spot On.' - That's right.
And I'm here in India to sign the top Indian sportsmen in the country.
And you, Shiv, are on the top of my list.
Robby, my secretary will call you tomorrow to fix a meeting.
[Shiv speaking Portuguese]
Oh! And you speak our language, too!
- [Gabriel speaking Hindi] It is a pleasure meeting you. - And you know Hindi, too.
Well, I always thought, maybe I'll fall in love with an Indian guy.
So, I should be prepared beforehand, right?
Shiv, I will have someone to call you...
...from Walter Financial Services, as well.
[Lovelle] 'We would love to handle your finances. Yeah?'
Shiv, why don't you show me the city skyline?
- Bye, guys. Nice meeting you. - Bye.
- Gabs... Absolutely cute. - Yeah, she is. - Hmm...
[Title Montage]
Guys, it just was a matter of minutes.
- He was about to be MPMP. - MPMP?
- Made Prey to My Passion. - Oh!
Guys, I'm sorry to put it in your face.
But she is the most eligible girl in Brazil.
Do you know whom she is dating?
Their prime minister?
Joshua, one of the most famous musicians.
- He is loaded as f***! - Oh! - She was quite 'loaded' herself.
Think Lovely... ...you could watch his match, first lady...
...and he'd blow you a kiss, all the way from the field.
- But Lovely, clearly he had a thing for you. - Hmm...
By the way... I was wondering.
- What? - What?
Do Brazilian girls always get a Brazilian wax done?
Every girl gets it done. You are the singular weird freak.
Well, we already have Indian girls to compete with...
...Now we need to compete with these white girls, too?
I think, these white girls should be banned.
Of course... Then, why don't you tell the PM...
..."stop focusing on Swachh Bharat and plastic ban."
"Just ban white girls."
Excuse me. Where is the Orient Club?
Do this. Pick up a sandal and hit it on your face.
Then then apply some s**t.
In fact, why don't you jump into the sewer? Okay?
- I... I don't understand. Right? - Oh, yeah! Right...
You are right. You're going on the right path. You pig!
You must jump like this... Okay?
- See you, bye. - Obrigado.
F**k you too.
Let's fuck them.
[laughs]
- Shiv Suri, huh? Good... - Yes, sir.
Lovelle, I'm very happy that for Walter...
...you're working so hard even in business development.
- Thank you. - Keep up the good work.
Next year, I might shift you from client servicing...
- ...to business development. - Oh, sir, thank you!
You know why, Lovelle? Because y-you are m-my...
You're good...
- Shiv will be a great client for us, sir. - Hmm...
- Well done, Lovelle. - Thank you.
Yeah... And BD team, do this.
Pitch this project to Shiv Suri immediately.
Lovelle, fix my meeting with his secretary, ASAP.
- Done, sir. I'll just... - Sir, I'll take care of that.
I'll take it forward from here, and I'll fix the meeting.
Great! Fantastic! And you know, that's why you're m-my...
- Good. Hurry up. - Thank you.
Sir, I'll fix the meeting!
Someone give the poor girl a f*****g lollipop!
Since she's so fond of sucking!
Lovely, don't be angry so early in the morning.
Stay positive.
Positive, huh? Very f*****g positive. Move!
You know, I'm actually very happy...
...that you're finally moving on from that Joshua.
Erica, it's not like that.
The press publishes what they wish.
I do want him, but just for work.
He is a rising star. And for my company, he can be...
- ...really profitable. - That's just rubbish!
I know, you're very interested in Shiv.
And that's why you are signing him.
I think it's very obvious.
Erica, you're so wrong, babe.
I didn't become so rich and famous overnight, okay?
It's because I never mix work and pleasure.
- Got it? - Got it.
Now, if you don't mind...
If nothing happened between the two of you...
...then I'd say, you're a fool.
Anyway, you are trying to say...
...that you don't want to join her agency.
-[Rob] Which s***s! - You're my manager, Rob.
You should help me to focus on football...
...and not on girls.
There you said it. I'm your manager...
...so let me manage you, understood?
Dude, she is Brazil's hottest property.
Will do wonders for your image.
I do not have this white girl fetish like you.
Look who's talking! The man with a French ex.
- Firstly, you aren't doing your own job well. - Mm-hmm...
At least, let me focus on mine.
- And basically, you are selling me. Aren't you? - Yes.
- Are you my manager or my f*****g p**p? Huh? - Hmm.
Tell me? You... What...
-[phone ringing] - Stop it, people are looking.
Hello.
[Robby] 'Oh, from Walter? How are you?'
'Tomorrow sounds good.'
[phone vibrating]
- Hello. - Hi, Amrit.
-[Amrit] 'Hi, who's this?' - It's me, Shiv. Shiv Suri.
Hi, Shiv! What a pleasant surprise!
[Shiv Suri] 'Do you have a minute?'
Yeah, sure. How come you thought of me today?
I thought you'd be really busy...
...after what I read about you in the newspapers.
That's all trash, Amrit.
- You know how these fools are. - It's okay, Shiv.
You don't need to hide anything from me.
But I called you to ask you about your friend, so clearly...
- Which friend? -[Shiv] 'The one who came with you...'
'...to the party, the other day.'
- Who? Yes! - Lovelle.
I'm... I'm sorry!
Actually, the waiter spilt some champagne on me.
Okay, tell me. Why are you asking about her?
Actually, I'm going to Walter Financial Services' office...
...for a meeting.
So, I thought, I'll say "Hi" to her.
[Shiv] 'Is she dating someone, by the way?'
- No, she is as single as single can be. - Thanks, Amrit.
- Have a nice day. - Same to you.
You know, I'll do one thing for you. I'll send you her number.
- Perfect! -[Amrit] 'Okay, bye.'
Yes...
[typing on phone screen]
[phone ringing]
- Yes, Amrinder? - You won't believe who called me.
Amrinder, please can you make it quick? I'm very busy right now.
Shiv Suri just called me asking if you're single.
Oh! Amrinder, I'm in no mood for jokes right now.
Besides, it's a full moon tonight.
And I'm f*****g PMSing on top of that.
I swear on God!
- Like seriously! - What!
- Really, Amrinder? -[Amrit] 'Of course.'
If you don't wanna believe me, then I can't help it.
But you enjoy because he's on his way to your office.
[Amrit] 'Buh-bye.'
- What happened? - Shiv Suri called...
...Amrinder... to ask if I'm single.
[screams]
Oh, my God! Okay, calm down.
- Oh, cool! - Lovely, calm down.
- Oh, my God! - ♪Lovely has hit a jackpot♪
Okay, babe, chill out... Just calm down...
Yeah, calm down.
[phone ringing]
- Hey, good afternoon, Gabriel. - Hi, Robz. How are you?
Good. On my way to the meeting.
Okay, you've done my work, right?
Trust me, Gabriel. I'm working on it.
[Robby] 'But Shiv is a tough nut to crack, you know.'
And he has a five year contract with the last agency, so...
Are you saying no to me?
Think hard of whom you're refusing?
- Gabriel, what do I do now? Legally... -[Gabriel] 'Legally?'
Are you trying to teach me the rules?
I know it better than anyone else, sweetheart.
I even know how to twist legalities.
Just like your property papers.
Bad manager. You don't know what's good for him.
[Robby] 'Okay, Shiv will be at Walter's office...'
'...in half an hour. You can meet him there.'
'Alright? See you.'
That's better now.
- The meeting is going on. - Relax, dear.
- He looks so hot today, Lovely! - Are you mad? Just go away!
Why? Hey, Lovely, he is a footballer, right?
If his foot is so big, imagine how big his b***s would be!
Yuck! What a pervert!
What... Disgusting! Do your work. Guys...
And we have the best record of raising finances for our clients.
Correct. Look, Shiv...
...I would just say that you be rest assured.
You're in the best of hands.
I never blow my own trumpet. Never! Ask her.
[Mr. Mittal] 'Yeah, never. I never do it.'
But I would say this, that today, all of India's best businessmen...
...they want to be part of the Walter family.
But I give the benefits only to my VIP clients.
And we would love you to be one of them.
- Well, consider it done. - Oh, great...
Perfect then... I mean, this is great.
So, should we all head to the caf?
[Tamanna] 'The lunch is served. So, yeah?'
Time for lunch. Come...
Oh...
Get going... Next station is the caf.
- Oh my god. - Let's go...
- Come on. - Lovely! Cool!
- Yes, you look s**y. - Thanks.
Hi, girls! Look, Shiv is here.
Shiv, I'm very happy that you met the girls at the party.
And the deal also happened.
- Come... Robby, sit. Take a seat. - Thanks.
- Tell me, what would you like to eat? - Hi! - Whatever!
- Hi, Lovelle. - Hi, Shiv.
You look cute even in these glasses.
Thanks, Shiv.
It helps me to look at the world a little better.
-[Gabriel] 'Hola, everyone!' - Oh!
Mr. Mittal!
[Gabriel] 'I was just crossing by...'
'...and I thought I'll say "Hi" to you.'
I'm so happy to have you here, Ms. Gabriel.
[Gabriel] 'Mr. Mittal, I was thinking...'
...of giving the finances of all Indian talents to Walter.
-[Mr. Mittal] 'Oh, really?' -[Gabriel] 'But I didn't know...'
- ...that you would be busy right now. - No...
- Shiv, what a small world! - I'm not busy...
- Gabriel... - You, here?
Actually, now that you're here...
...I did want to talk to you about something...
...but not here. Let's go.
I feel like Sushi. Do you?
- Of course! - Ciao, everyone.
-[Lovelle mouths "What the f**k!"] -[Punni mouths "m**********r"] -Ciao.
- Mr. Mittal. - That... - Okay, bye.
- Everything to Walter. All to Walter. - Yeah.
She is really going after him. The second time?
I'm telling you. The danger level is rising.
Lovely, don't worry.
I'm very sure he's totally into you.
Even then, Amrinder...
...if tomorrow a white girl stands naked in front of him...
...then he will be aroused, right?
- Excuse me. - Sure I will, motherfu...
- What do you want? - How we can go to Cuffe Parade?
Cuffe Parade! Oh, you go straight to the main road...
...take the train from the station...
[Noor] 'Western Line, okay? Then take the train to Virar.'
'Anybody will guide you to Cuffe Parade.'
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
First, you spank ours then we'll spank yours.
Here, drink this beer.
- Oh, Lovely! - Please, dear. - Stop being a drama queen.
There's no problem that Chicken Tikka...
...and a good movie can't solve.
Yeah, baby.
It is clear from these photographs...
...that India's famous footballer, Shiv Suri...
'...and this Brazilian hottie, Gabriel, have a special friendship.'
'Because, the way he is holding her by the waist...'
- '...it's obvious that...' - Turn it off...
Is it solved?
[phone ringing]
What do you want, mister? Who are you?
[Shiv] 'If I tell you, will you give it to me?'
Who are you, mister?
I thought you could see the world better.
You can't see me?
Football!
Hi, Shiv. How are you?
[Shiv] 'Not so good.'
I've been trying to meet you for so long...
...but clearly, it's not working out.
[Shiv] 'So, now, I'll be even more direct.'
Would you like to go for dinner with me?
Dinner?
Yeah...
Sure, I could. I mean, why not... Like...
- When? Right now? - Right now.
- I'm not even ready right now, Shiv. - Come on, dear.
You're so gorgeous.
[Shiv] 'Who cares?'
Shiv, I think, you should save the compliment for the date.
'Date?' I thought, we're just going for dinner.
- Oh! - I'm kidding, dear.
I am asking you out on a date, okay?
-[Shiv] 'So, I'll pick you up.' - Yeah, sure.
I'll send you my address. So, you can pick me up here. Bye.
Guys, I'm going on a f*****g date!
The white girls can...
I can't believe Amrit told you.
Actually, when it comes to these things, I'm a bit nave.
Fair enough. But she is my best friend.
Obviously, she had to tell me, right?
But anyway, it's really nice to know...
...that you aren't complicated like other boys.
Yep, I'm pretty straight up. I say what's on my mind. Hmm...
So, what's on your mind?
Since that party, I've thought about you daily.
But honestly speaking, I hadn't really noticed you...
...but I did think, you were sweet and all, of course.
You know what, Lovelle.
I don't know what you think about me...
...but my exposure and experience has made me very wise.
Prove it.
Like all these sexy young white girls...
...I'm so done with them.
And I really like you, Lovelle.
Wow! You really are direct, huh?
I don't know any other way.
And you and Gabriel in that photograph...
What about that?
What about it?
Even now, someone is clicking our pictures.
- Huh? Really? Like here? - Yes. Yes.
- Where? - Look, there.
[camera clicks]
The only difference is that today they are capturing the reality...
...and not gossip.
[indistinct chatter]
Gabby please calm down. Everyone is watching us.
I don't give a flying f**k, okay?
I don't care! I love him and I want him!
- And I love him! - But you were the one...
...who told me that you don't like him.
Babe, you are just too complicated.
Your dumb model brain is complicated.
- Don't you get it? I love Joshua. - Joshua!
Now where did Joshua land from?
- Are you okay? - You f*****g b***o!
I want Joshua. I love Joshua. Don't you get it?
And to make him jealous...
...I wanted at least three cosy paparazzi photos with any boy.
- Shiv was just my... bait. - Okay...
But well... I'm just really happy...
...that you are not stuck on that soccer guy.
By the way, Joshua is pretty adorable!
- I know, right? - Yeah.
But now, Shiv's photos are on the Internet...
- ...with that Indian beggar. - Oh, s**t! Now?
Now what? This slumdog girl has ruined my entire plan, Erica!
Gabby! Gabby... Calm down.
Listen to me. I have a plan.
Thuso is screening a Brazilian football match, today.
And then, there is an after-party.
- So... - So, what?
- Are you stupid? - Listen to me.
Get there with Shiv anyhow, okay?
And organising the press, is my job.
I know a lot of people there. You just get there.
And then your pictures with him will be clicked.
And your work will be done.
Yeah! And why would he come with me to Thuso?
He is on a f*****g date, Erica.
Remember you told me about, Robby?
He is scared of you, right?
Give him a call.
Call him.
He'll now be terrified of me.
- Call the press. - On it.
- Excuse me! -[man 1] 'I'm good, how are you doing?'
-[man 2] 'I'm great.' -[man 1] 'Oh, my!'
Damn it! Get up...
It's Lovely...
Hello! Hi, my tigress!
- Have you entered the game now? - Shut up, Noorpreet!
[Lovelle] 'That stupid manager of Shiv!'
He called us again...
...and he has got us to some place called Thuso.
- It doesn't matter! - That psycho Brazilian girl...
- ...has reached here also. - Oh, God!
- S-so what next? - So, I need you guys.
Please come here.
[Lovelle] 'I'm feeling all alone here.' Please!
And all these foreign s***s are around me, guys.
-[Lovelle] 'Please!' - Okay, just relax.
- We'll be there in a bit. - Not in a bit, now!
- I need you here, now! - All right...
Lovely, we're coming to you.
- Don't worry. - M*********r, why don't you just enter my mouth!
- You and your onion! - I'm sorry, dear.
Shut up! Mummy!
I'll need to brush for the party.
Hey, move aside! Hey, you in the black dress!
- Move aside... - It's cool, right?
Are you in the guest list, ma'am?
- B*****d, we are Gabriel's friends! - My God!
- Gabriel! Huh! - My, God!
Let's go...
- Eww... - I'll complain to Lovely.
Don't act like a class monitor. "I'll tell on you! Teacher..."
Guys! Such a long time?
I was about to faint...
...because of their stinking body odour.
- Isn't it? - Wait for Punni to open her mouth.
Oh, my! Don't you feel like we've come to Canada without a visa?
-[man 3] 'Hey, how are you doing?' - I just hate that girl!
- She is really after him. - What happened?
She just won't leave him alone. She is talking about work now!
You already know how Shiv is.
He is obsessed with football. Now, what am I supposed to do?
Oh! Take it easy!
- Hola, girls! - Ola?
But I don't have the OTP yet.
Anyway, Lovelle, I'm so sorry about Shiv.
I just had some work with him. And it's all done now.
I won't meet him ever again.
Ever again? As in?
Oh... You have come to make your ex-boyfriend "J"!
[Gabriel] 'It's the correct answer.'
Anyway, you can have him back now, okay?
- Unless... - Unless what?
Unless Shiv gets back with Adore.
What! Adore?
I-Is that his French ex-girlfriend?
Yes, his ex-girlfriend.
The French beauty just landed in Mumbai for her birthday...
...and Shiv left for the airport to get her.
- Really, what! Shiv... Shiv's gone? - Yeah.
So, good luck, doll!
Now what? Take the call...
-[airport announcement] - Hello. Lovelle, I called you so many times.
- I couldn't find you anywhere. - Shiv, where are you?
[Shiv] 'I'm at home with my mom. She had a medical emergency.'
I'll call you some other time?
Sure.
He is not going to call.
Let's drink.
Let's go.
[music playing]
Oh, dear! Punni, look at her!
Look at that cabaret dancer.
What is she so happy about?
Girls, let me tell you this...
...if I ever get drunk and dance like that...
- ...just shoot me. - Sure...
I know that I'm going to be alone forever.
I... I'm going to die alone. I just know it.
Lovely, why are you so negative?
Look at the positives.
Look, would we ever be partying among foreigners?
Right? Among the stench and the sweat?
I say 'F**k this shit!'
- 'Let's enjoy!' - 'F**k this shit!'
- 'Let's enjoy.' - Let's go...
- Three more shots, please. -[woman 1] 'Excuse me.'
- Do you remember me? - No.
You all look the same to me.
And now, while you are on my territory...
...why you don't want to smudge some gobar on your f*****g face?
- We know what gobar means. - And it means "shit".
Are you okay?
[Lovelle] If you are in the flight of love, then you'll often hear this...
...due to bad weather, we request the passengers...
...to fasten their seatbelts.
Forget it!
F**k this shit! Let's get out of here!
But then, not all flights crash, do they?
So, fasten your seat belts, trust in God!
But keep your running shoes on.
After all, America was also discovered by mistake, right?
[Theme Music Playing]