Will you agree, if I ask you for something?
What?
I mean, show me some aggression.
What do you mean?
I'm sure, behind this classy Noor, there is a cheap Noor hidden away.
Please. Yuck!
Hey!
Why are you behaving like a coward?
Hmm...Now, I get it.
No. I won't give in.
[Title Montage]
[Theme Music Playing]
I think it's a blessing in disguise.
Listen. You should jump at this opportunity.
This gives you an excuse to turn from Noor to Noorpreet.
And he won't even know how desperate you actually are.
If Noorpreet shows her real desperation...
...poor Arjun will land up at the hospital.
Shut up, guys!
I don't need your advice.
I have to deal with one more problem now.
Really, Noorpreet! With you, everyday there's a new problem.
Really.
Okay. If you don't want our advice...
...why don't you ask your therapist? What say?
Great idea. She is the best therapist in South Bombay.
Best? She is insane, Amrinder.
Her brain is full of shit!
I say one word and she writes hundreds in her diary.
I'm sure during exams,
her teacher must have snatched her answer sheet away.
She's been writing ever since.
[Noor mocking therapist]
Hey... Stop it...
Waiter, take her black coffee away.
And then she says, "Oopsie daisy. Time's up".
"Five thousand rupees."
Bloody beggar!
Well, Noorpreet...
...at the therapist's, are you Noor or Noorpreet?
Have you gone mad? Noor, of course.
She doesn't know about Noorpreet.
No. No.
- Babe, are you serious? - What?
We act in our professional and social lives.
How can we lie to our therapist?
If you don't reveal yourself, how will she help you?
[Amrit] 'Absolutely. What's the point?'
She needs to know the real you.
You pay her Rs. 5000 for half an hour.
At least get your money's worth.
That's what he actually said?
What did you do then, Noor?
This is like a crime investigation. Witch!
What did you do, Noor?
At first, I refused. But next time...
...I was like, "Okay. Let's just give it a try".
"What's the problem?"
Okay, Noor. This is what I actually think.
You are suffering from mental trauma right now.
And Arjun's personality is way different from yours.
- I think you should break up. - Break up?
- So, I think you... - Oopsie daisy.
Sorry, Noor. Time's up.
But, ma'am, please tell me. What do I do?
Help me, please.
If you can't break up, at least set the rules.
Tell Arjun that you aren't interested in all this.
You are not a middle-class low life.
[Therapist] 'I know you, Noor.'
That will be Rs. 6000.
Six thousand?
- But it was five... - The rates have been revised.
Okay.
[church bell ringing]
Sachin!
Hi, Sachin.
- I'm so sorry I'm late. - What... What are you doing?
Keep your bag down.
Sorry, actually...
What's wrong with you?
Nothing. What's wrong?
Are you alright?
Yes, I'm alright. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Then why are you suddenly behaving so cold...
Puneet, this is how I am normally.
[Sachin] 'This is very normal me.'
Come... Puneet, come on.
What happened? Huh?
I've told you so many times that I'm not expressive like you.
[Sachin] 'That's it.'
And in a relationship, is it necessary to be so clingy?
Puneet. Puneet, come on.
Listen. Listen to me.
All I'm saying is, I'm not used to this typical relationship thing.
I just need some space.
Amrinder.
What happened, Punni? Are you okay?
[Punni gasps]
Why did you send an SOS?
Amrinder, there's a huge problem.
I can see that.
Your earrings are totally off.
Not the earrings.
The danger word has been used.
Sorry... Puneet, which word was it?
Space.
- Space? - Space...
But it's not been even a month for you guys.
Hmmm.
Tell me the truth, Punni. Did you do something?
I didn't do anything. I swear.
I didn't do anything. I didn't even use his toothbrush.
Really!?
What an insensitive b*****d!
What do I do, Amrinder? Please help me.
Give me a suggestion.
What does he think of himself?
He wants space? Does he think he is an astronaut?
Don't you worry, Punni. I have a plan.
Space virus.
Space virus, page number 175.
Space virus.
Space virus? Explain, please.
I won't explain, Punni. I'll show it to you.
Zoravar, get the car.
Amrinder, why are we here?
You have to turn into a virus, Punni.
Huh? I won't be a virus!
I mean you need to spread and grow like a virus.
- Got it? - How's that?
That is why we are here.
You need to mark your territory.
Take your clothes, and spread them all over his place.
[Amrit] 'Your stuff should be in every corner of his house.'
'When you leave, he will see your things and miss you.'
Your stuff, your smell, your clothes.
And specially these phis-phis.
When I leave..?
Why will I leave?
You will leave, Punni.
[Amrit] 'First, you'll leave a breakup note.'
'And then you will bounce.'
What's this phis-phis?
This phis-phis is the kind of magic by which...
...'space' bars from all types of keyboards can go missing.
[Amrit] 'You will fill this with your perfume. Chanel.'
'This is the masterstroke.'
[squirting out perfume]
[Mr. Mittal] 'Lovelle...'
Come... Come on. Good... I found you.
You leave, go on. It's done...
What happened, sir?
I have some very important work for you.
I.. I have a client... Big guy, you know. Big guy for us.
- Very important. Great guy. - Okay.
He is landing from the US just now.
You know, and I can't go to the airport.
And I thought of you.. if you could, you know...
- Why me, sir? - What do you mean, why?
Don't ask such obvious questions.
Who's more reliable, approachable and dependable...
...than you in our company? Is there anyone?
Don't worry, sir. I'll pick him up from the airport.
- Are you sure? - 100 percent.
I know... You are...
- The best, sir. - The best.
- I know. Right. - Okay.
- Go... Get going. - Okay, sir.
Yeah!
Mr. William will be picked up from the airport, by me!
Jeremy William?
Mr. Mittal has fooled you big time.
I saw him at the office...
First he tried to convince Tamanna.
[Noor] 'Then it was Suhani.'
He just wanted someone to go pick up that foreigner.
Why did everyone refuse? Like... What's the problem?
I heard Tamanna saying that this guy is very shady...
[Noor] '...over-friendly and cheap.'
Before I could inform you, Mittal trapped you.
And you are such an idiot to agree.
What? Seriously?
Hey! What do I do now?
I am on my way. I am trapped.
Take my advice. First of all, go and buy a pepper spray.
Okay, listen. You're really freaking me out now. Okay?
Okay. All the best. Bye.
[Lovelle] 'Hey... One second. Calm down.'
F**k you. You are coming with me to the airport. Okay?
Oh hey! I know, I've been having kinky sex and all these days...
..but it's like showing a red rag to a bull.
Thank you, ma'am.
Noorpreet, I'll take revenge for this.
I'm very serious.
You can do it when we meet tonight.
Why? Where are we going tonight?
At least use your brains once in a way, Lovely.
Aren't we going to the Jazz club?
The table is booked.
Oh shit! I forgot.
Okay, see you... In case you don't get kidnapped.
[Lovelle] 'Noorpreet!'
What have you gotten yourself into, Lovely!
Making her a fool feels so cool!
What have you got into, Lovely!
I hope that scoundrel's flight doesn't land at all.
Oh! Is that the pervert?
Hi there, beautiful. I'm the one you're looking for.
Oh, hello, Mr. William. Hello. Nice to meet you.
Oh no, please. Call me Jeremy.
Oh, okay!Leave me, you scoundrel.
My name is Lovelle.
[William] 'You are gorgeous, Lovelle.'
Thank you.
- How was the flight? - Oh! Well, it was long.
But worth the wait.
So sweet.
Well, the car is parked right there.
So, let me drop you to your hotel?
- Alright. -[Lovelle] 'Let's go.'
- Lead the way, beautiful. - Bloody rascal. B*****d.
[William] 'Wow. The city of Mumbai sure is gorgeous.'
Yeah. Not as gorgeous as you though, Lovelle.
- Thank you, Mr. William. - Hey, no. Please.
Call me Jeremy.
Okay, no. Mr. William is fine. Yeah.
Bloody pervert.
Mr. William, we'll...
We'll reach your hotel in like...
In just like five minutes.
Hey, no. Actually, I changed my mind.
I don't want to go to no hotel.
Hotels are boring.
Come on, Lovelle. Tell me. What do you all do around here to have fun?
What kind of fun?
Yeah, you know, fun!
No, I don't know. No.
Like a bar. Or a jazz bar maybe.
My friend is going to a jazz bar tonight.
[Lovelle] 'She also works for Mr. Mittal.'
She would love to take you out.
- Stop the car. - Why?
- I said, stop the car! - Why?
Oh, my God!
I've never seen a cow walk around the city like that before.
He's eating out of the trash!
[vehicle honking]
Let's go.
Bloody f****r.
- Hey, what was that you just said? - Huh?
C*****a s***a. What does that mean?
C*****a s***a. It means...
- You're a lovely person. Lovely person. - Oh!
Thank you, sexy lady.C*****a s***a to you too.
Thank you.
C*****a.
[squirting out perfume]
[playing music]
Hi! Look at you!
Hello.
Hi, Amrit.
You know. Seeing you girls just reminded me...
...how absolutely stunning Indian women truly are.
I mean... My God! Like worth kidnapping, you know.
I wish he kidnaps me. At least someone will be interested in me.
Hey. Are you talking about me?
Of course, we are talking about you,
Mr. Jeremy William...
...because we have nothing better to do.
She is too kind. I'm just a C*****a s***a.
- Hey, Noorpreet.. - Hey, Noorpreet.
Who is here?
Hi.
- Hi, Amrit. - Hi. How are you?
[kisses]
Silly, I was just joking. He is just like us.
- How about you? - Making you fool feels so cool!
[Noor] 'You are so naive, Lovely.'
This is the sexy gang. Huh?
Lovelle, Amrit, Puneet...
...and Noorpreet.
Noorpreet? Who is Noorpreet?
Even today these foreigners can't pronounce our names properly.
You can actually call her Noor. That's her name.
What a C*****a name you have, Noor!
- Noor. - You bloody...
Mr. Jeremy. What do you want to drink?
A scotch whiskey with twisted lemon...
...and just a little bit of ice, please.
By the way, Noorpreet suits you.
- Is it? - Yes.
[Amrit clears throat]
What a lovely night, Noor!
Nothing like that.
[applause]
♪There is a girl..♪
♪She stole my heart..♪
♪There is a girl..♪
Wow. What a brilliant beautiful voice.
What is it that she is singing about?
What she is singing is a sad song about love.
♪I am your Romeo♪
♪You are my Juliet♪
♪I am your Romeo♪
Why is it that you look sadder than she does, Puneet?
She is a bit sensitive right now.
- So... - Why?
No luck coming your way?
Luck has turned on me, Jeremy. It's walking away.
[William] 'You can talk to me, sweetheart.'
You know what, Jerry...
...when I take a step towards him...
...he takes a step back.
It's like a dance step, you know. Like cha-cha dance?
[William] 'Ahh... I think you mean Salsa.'
Puneet, or maybe the jive... But look, it doesn't matter.
Okay? Please continue.
Thanks, Jerry.
♪This pain in my heart♪
♪No one can understand..♪
You know what?
He said, "he wants space".
- Ooh! The danger word. - Yes.
♪There is a girl..♪
If you don't mind...
...can I make ac*****a suggestion?
You can make a c*****a suggestion.
You need to go to his house...
...and spread all your clothes everywhere.
I'm talking about the good smelling stuff. The sexy stuff.
That's very important.
Amrinder, shall we include him in our gang?
We can ask him for advice.
Why? Am I dead?
Jeremy, stop revealing all girly secrets in front of my boyfriend.
Ouch! Baby.
And then? Then, Jerry?
And then you pounce on him.
[William] 'And I guarantee, he will come running back.'
You mean, bounce. Right?
No... Pounce.
Hmm.
[squirting out perfume]
What?
No... This can't be true.
How can you do this to me?
- [phone ringing] - Oh, Lord!
Amrit, Look. It's Sachin.
Why are you showing it to me? Show it to your new best friend.
Now, you are raising a stink.
Punni, why aren't you answering?
Why did you disconnect the call?
Wow! That turns me on!
I won't answer his call.
Because my best friend's advice is the best.
I won't pounce, I'll bounce.
♪This pain in my heart♪
♪You won't understand♪
[applause]
[door opening]
[Sachin] 'Baby, at least tell me what I've done.'
It's okay. This is not my scene.
So, I am leaving.
What do you mean you're leaving? Are you leaving me?
Yes.
You don't love me anymore?
Why suddenly?
I messaged you yesterday and you didn't even reply.
Where were you last night?
I was in space.
Baby... Listen, please...
Sachin. Honey.
It's okay. I am not angry.
You wanted space, right?
I am giving you space. That's it.
I don't want it. Sit down. I don't want space.
- I want you. - Sachin...
I love you. I just want you.
- No spaces, please. - Leave me, please.
Look, this breakup is good for both of us.
I'm apologising to you.
Why are you talking about breaking up?
- No breakup. No... - Sachin, wait.
- I'm sorry. I love you. - Leave me, Sachin.
- I'm sorry. I'll do as you say. - Sachin, please let me go.
- Please, I'm sorry. - Sachin, please.
Let me go.
[squirting out perfume]
Didn't we decide that you will set boundaries with Arjun?
Yes, ma'am. But I always am in control.
Now, I feel free.
And you should say, "Go, live your life".
But instead, you are suppressing me.
What is this, "Go, live your life"?
[Therapist] 'Some rustic language, I guess.'
You are a sophisticated girl.
Respectful and classy.
Ma'am, if you see us in bed, you'll know what I mean.
If I could, I would spank his b**t till it...
Excuse me? What kind of weird language is this?
This is my original language.
The language that I understand.
The language that I'll shove up your a**.
Wow. Your boyfriend has really turned you into a villager, Noor.
Noorpreet. My name is Noorpreet.
Oopsie daisy. Uh.. Time's up.
Write the cheque and get out of here.
Noorpreet. My name is Noorpreet. Not Daisy.
[Noor] 'Villager, small-town girl. You're judging me, you b***h?'
'And your time is up, ma'am.'
You are the biggest psycho. Bloody witch.
[Noor] 'Each time I come here and pour my heart out...'
...but you don't even care.
Pretentious doll!
- What is wrong with... - Shut up, you mental lady.
First, do some psychology on yourself...
...and write in this f*****g diary what a big idiot you are.
Haven't you heard of "save paper"?
What? What do you keep writing?
You have turned into a typewriter. Here you go.
Rs. 6000!
To hell with you and your bloated account.
You thief. Get lost.
[Therapist] 'Noor.'
You want the cheque?
Here you go.
[TV playing]
[Noor] Who can ever confidently tell you...
...what is right for you and what is wrong.
Sometimes, a dumb friend can be right.
And sometimes, a doctor could be wrong.
At the end, it is only your inner voice...
...which gives you the correct advice.
Do what you feel is right.
[Theme Music Playing]