Sujin.
Psst! Sujin.
Danka!
Yeah?
Why are you sleeping in front of your laptop?
The liquor shops are going to open today…
…so Shreshtha has told me to get in the queue from 6 a.m.
He’s going to buy 14 bottles of whiskey.
If I carry his bag, he’ll give me one.
Why have you asked to speak at 4 a.m.?
What sort of time is this to speak to your husband?
I called you because of an emergency.
I just checked, and Shilpi has robbed the entire kitchen of essentials.
The kitchen is completely empty.
She’s always stealing something or the other. Clothes. Hair. The safe. Essentials.
She took the clothes to get them laundered.
When she was setting fire to the bedroom, you should…
…have checked if she was also looting the kitchen.
Was I supposed to put out the fire then, or check what she was stealing from the kitchen?
You’ve always have to be alert, baby.
That’s why I have Shreshtha. As soon as I nod off, he pulls a rope and wakes me up.
Sujin, I’m dying of hunger. I haven’t eaten anything for the last 22 hours.
And it’s 4 a.m. right now, so nobody is delivering. Help me!
Shreshtha!
My wife is dying of hunger. Can I quickly go give her some food?
You have a point.
He says he doesn’t have a rope that’s long enough.
I am sure I will die of hunger.
And if I do, tell the watchman that your one and only wife is now dead.
Don’t do loud acting. Pay attention. There’s a safe in my cupboard.
That’s where I keep my passport, mascara, beard colour and other stuff.
I know.
Inside that safe, is another safe.
One more safe? You never told me about the second safe.
I was going to. Trust in marriage takes time.
We’ve been married since class 9. You still don’t trust me?
Stop saying that. We’ll be put behind bars for child marriage.
Just listen to me.
That safe within the safe is where I keep things for safety.
The code for it is my birthday. DD - MM - YYYY.
RADHIKA 2-3-0-6-1-9-8-3. I know.
2-7-0-5-1-9-8-3.
2-3-0-6 is whose birthday exactly?
Sorry! I’m so sorry!
That’s Shilpi’s birthday!
I’m really sorry!
Fuck off! Die!
I’m sleepy, I’m confused, I’m hungry. Please!
Okay.
Please.
I’m quite an open-hearted man. I mean, large-hearted.
I know.
Open the safe, you’ll find The U.E.K. in there.
What?
Ultimate Emergency Kit.
In case we have to leave the country in an hour.
My grandmother told me that she learned these things during the partition.
How to be ready for the ultimate emergency.
You’ll also find a pair of shoes. They belong to Gulshan Grover. Ignore them.
That’s the box.
Open it.
Okay.
In this box, you will find basic essentials.
Survival stuff - a tank top, swimming goggles, an envelope filled with dollars.
A matchbox.
Okay. And?
You’ll also find…
Dry fruits?
Yes, dry fruits.
You know, when my grandmother left Peshawar and walked to Mumbai…
…all she had was one flask of water, her dreams, and a Trident.
And she had these dry fruits?
Correct.
Sujin, I can’t eat dry fruits from the time of our independence. I’ll die.
Mocha, these dry fruits have endured so much.
Partition of India. Emergency. Indo-Pak War. The assassination of Indira Gandhi.
Liberalisation. Demonetisation. Mumbai’s humidity. Why would they kill you?
These are the best dry fruits in the world, Dhanka.
Thanks, baby.
Mocha.
I will always make sure that there are some historical dry fruits available…
…so you never go hungry. Even if I’m tied to a chair.
Mocha?
Why did she have to freeze when I‘m delivering my best dialogue?
All my acting goes to waste.
Hello everyone.
Hi.
Hello.
So we are all gathered here for our final answers.
I hope everyone’s Wi-Fi is working fine today.
Yeah, Sujin had forgotten to pay the bill, as usual.
I never pay for the internet guy in cash.
I bet on his behalf. So what if all the matches have been cancelled?
It doesn’t mean he can reduce the internet speed. That is illegal.
Wait a minute. Gigolo, I just saw your left hand. Where is your wedding ring?
That’s none of your business.
I can bet that he has bet his wedding ring on something.
That’s impossible, Mr. Tripathi.
Correct. I haven’t bet on my wedding ring.
See.
I’ve used it as insurance for when the U.K. will end its lockdown. To cover a bet.
You’re using the wrong gambling terms.
Our wedding ring, Sujin?
I could only use our wedding ring, right? Can’t use my good luck ring.
I’m betting, so I need good luck.
What?
Exactly! What? What does this show, your honour?
This shows that this man has absolutely no belief in the sacred institution of marriage.
Radhika, the Prime Minister of U.K. is going to make the announcement tomorrow
I promise you, I will get you a ring which is much more expensive and nicer than the other one.
Just wait till tomorrow, please.
And what about sentimental value, you fool?
What is the point of “sentimental value”?
You can’t withdraw “sentimental value” from an ATM.
Radhika, the question that you need to ask yourself is…
…you are beautiful.
Yes.
Smart. Accomplished.
Very.
Such expressive eyes.
Thank you.
Wait, where is this going?
Is Sujin the best option for you?
You need the kind of partner who brings out the best in you.
And that is me.
That’s what you’re saying, right, Rajni?
No. That is not what I’m saying.
Radhika, what I’m trying to say is this. You’ve been with the same partner since class 9.
Maybe you need to try being with a new partner?
Just to see, if they fit.
Take my example. I tried three partners.
Every time I thought they were trying to bring the best in me…
…they vanished.
Rajni, I’m her husband.
I’m not some belt she bought online where, if it doesn’t fit, you can get your money back.
And here, you can’t even get your money back.
Sujin, listen to me. While eating your dry fruits, I was thinking about Shilpi.
Maybe there is a lesson to be learned from the whole incident.
What is your problem?
While eating my dry fruits, you’re busy thinking of Shilpi.
While getting a massage from Shilpi, you’re busy thinking of me.
Why are your thoughts always heading in opposite directions?
These are my thoughts! I don’t know what direction they’ll take me in.
Thoughts don’t line up in a queue, While socially distancing.
I…
All I’m saying is, Shilpi is just a symptom, Sujin.
The real problem is our marriage.
Our marriage is broken.
Yes! And when a marriage is broken, you find clues from everywhere else.
For example, Radhika got her clue when Shilpi set fire and left.
I found my clue when my second husband had his second wedding, and vanished.
Sujin, listen to me.
These problems that we face in our marriage…
…are symptoms of a much bigger problem.
Maybe you can never be in love with anyone other than yourself.
And maybe I had no idea that it would be so easy for someone to come between us.
So perhaps there was always an empty space in our relationship, Sujin.
And now that space is so big, that it has become impossible to fill.
This is too complicated.
Mocha, my life is very simple.
I like face creams, look tests, tank tops, and you.
I’m from Noida, Sector 7.
You just don’t get me! Go to hell!
You don’t even know what love is.
You should come here and learn from Shreshtha.
Wow! Look who’s talking!
When my mother had come down from Delhi, I begged you to take her to meet her friend.
I had a deadline to file a news report that day. And what did you say to me?
You said, “I have an audition. I’m playing a handicapped person”.
“I’m in character right now, so how will I drive?”
Mocha, don’t drag my method acting into this. My process is pure.
What about my mother? Is she impure?
I’d asked you to wait for an hour.
Then my audition would have been over, and I would no longer be handicapped.
Your mother’s friend wouldn’t have died in an hour.
She died, Sujin! She was in the hospital.
Then tell your mother to make healthy friends.
I don’t want the kind of marriage where my mother has to change her friends, at this age.
So what kind of marriage do you want?
One where your husband is at home all the time, and you go out to work…
…and make all the money, while he drives your mother around?
Fuck, Sujin! This is not about 12th April, 2017, okay?
Of course it’s about 12th April, 2017, because you remember the fucking date!
Hang on, please. Just a minute. Sorry.
Hello?
Hello? Inspector, I can’t make it right now.
I’m watching a husband and wife fight over a video call.
It’s really good fun.
Sure, later.
Sorry, carry on.
Look, Mocha, I want to make something of myself.
Do you think I enjoy betting?
I mean, yes I do enjoy it but I also do it because I want to earn some money…
…and be able to contribute to our home.
I don’t want to live in a way where each time I come home…
…my wife looks at me like I’m some kind of loser.
But, why am I always a second priority in your life, Sujin?
Why does it always feel like I’m the one driving this marriage forward?
Why can’t we ever do it together?
Because you don’t know how to drive, Mocha.
Fuck! Don’t take everything so literally. Is there no intelligence in Noida?
Don’t drag Noida into this, please.
I can’t talk to this man anymore!
What the hell do you even want to say? You’re complicating things for no reason.
Say what you have to say clearly. Be direct. Just say - I want this.
I want a divorce.
Radhika?
That was a bit too direct, wasn’t it?
Sujin, I’ve spoken to your grandmother.
The best option you have is to sell the flat and get a divorce.
I’ve explained this to her as well.
And what did she say?
She asked me to give you a virtual slap and send her the video recording.
Okay, go ahead, slap me.
Tripathi.
Ready.
Got it?
Yes, I’ve got it on video.
Send it to her.
Your grandmother also said that she doesn’t have the original documents for this flat.
She’s asked us to get forged copies made, if we can.
What do you mean? The flat is in her name.
No, in 1947, a British man had given it to her for free.
That’s why, there are no papers.
I have the papers. The love letters that British man wrote to my grandmother.
I will need those, for the forgery.
Any other questions?
Fuck it. Let’s get a divorce.
Yes!
Sorry.
Great.
All right then. I’ll be off too.
Hang on.
Tripathi, I’m willing to co-invest in this flat.
I don’t need someone to co-invest. I’ll manage the monthly payments.
I’m willing to invest 3 crores into this flat.
3 crores?
That’s more than the cost of the flat.
Take it or leave it, Tripathi.
I’ll take it! Why wouldn’t I take it? I’ll take it for sure
Good. The thing is, I have too many memories in my flat.
And if we’re going to be making a fresh start together, it may as well be in a new flat.
Shit.
What did I get into?
Where did she get 3 crores?
She has three husbands missing, and she has three crores from them?
Then, if she makes me disappear, she’ll have four crores?
Oh god! Kalpesh!
What was the name of that Chinese Tantric who gets rid of evil spirits?
Goddammit! Kalpesh is in jail too. What the hell do I do?