My brother hated funerals.
Watching adults cry, the hugs,
people being polite...
Those things embarrassed him.
He wouldn't attend funerals.
He didn't even attend his own.
An eulogy should be about who the deceased person was.
But who was Nino Scotellaro?
I'm his sister and even I realized this too late.
My brother was like an old bridge.
Stable. Necessary.
Something we needed.
And yet,
he was rotten.
Rotten to his foundations.
You know that Nino enjoyed writing his own obituary.
Today, I wrote it for him.
"Despotic brother,
"traitor of his own ideals,
"a Mafia magistrate."
But he also had flaws.
What the fuck?
Fucking moles.
Don't touch that.
In case you're hungry...
Where are you going?
No questions.
Get this thought your thick skull, you're not a magistrate anymore.
Hello?
My first grandson was born.
Congratulations.
Enzuccio's son.
It means that at least his balls are working fine.
And so is Teresa Suro.
His last name is still Tracina, like mine. Salvatore Tracina.
As of today, the world has another Salvatore Tracina.
Suro isn't stupid at all.
First, he kills all of you,
and then he makes his daughter, the crazy one,
marry the last son of the Tracina family.
He makes peace, and gets everything for himself.
Sir, let's get to the point.
What the fuck do you want me to say?
Let's go to the baptism.
Why should I go with you to my grandson's baptism?
To get Mariano Suro.
He'll be there.
This child is his first male heir.
You still want to arrest Mariano Suro?
As you said, I'm not a magistrate anymore.
I want to kill him.
I mean...
I'd like you to kill him.
Sir,
it's a miracle you're alive
and you're still obsessed with Suro?
Alive?
I have no honor, no job, no wife. What's the point of living?
Suro took everything from you as well.
Let's go to Sicily.
Do you remember what I once told you?
"People like us don't die because of cancer."
And yet...
I want to die
in God's grace.
Then I'll go by myself.
I made a promise I need to keep.
I'll kill him on your behalf too.
And you want to go to Sicily... How do you intend to face it?
How am I going to face it? With this face.
BALDUCCIO REMORA EMIGRATED TO PERU 10/06/1973
Who the fuck remembers his face?
Exactly.
Balduccio Remora, the cousin from America.
South America.
He emigrated with all of his family when he was 16, to Cusco, in Peru.
No one's heard from him since.
He vanished.
How will Balduccio Remora kill Mariano Suro?
Like you did with the moles.
How will you place a bomb to kill the most famous fugitive of Cosa Nostra?
I'm the bomb.
We'll blow up together. Him and I.
There are other ways to kill a man.
That's what I've heard at least.
That's the only way for me.
I couldn't keep living, knowing I killed someone.
Can I tell you something, sir? No offense.
It seems like a fucking stupid plan to me.
Thanks.
TRANCIO'S BRONTE PISTACHIO
SICILY
Domenico?
Domenico Cuore?
Enzuccio sent you, right?
I'm Balduccio.
Balduccio Remora.
Let's wet all the papers with our saliva Fuck me hard till the end, smoke on me
Stimulate my endorphins Inside a bubble bath
It's a queen's tomb
The last orgasm will be almost like dying Because one day, you'll be nothing
But tonight you are forever
I climb on top of you
I blow this white smoke into your mouth
Hey, how are you? Balduccio Remora?
It's a pleasure.
I'm Domenico Cuore. Call me Domingo Corazon.
No problem. Let's go. This is the car.
I know, it's small, but smaller is better.
One has to care about environment, renewable energy,
the kind of future we're leaving for our kids.
Let's go.
-Be careful. -Sorry.
Anyway, get comfortable. This is a long trip.
Let's all welcome the newlyweds!
Bravo!
Angelica and Claudio! A round of applause, everybody!
What a wonderful couple!
Go ahead! more!
Put your hands up!
He's so big!
Luvi! Luvi Bray!
What are you doing here?
I live here. And I rent the house for tacky receptions.
I see.
Do you remember my name?
I told you five years ago to not be formal with me, Boccanera.
Marco.
-Matteo! -Matteo.
By the way, I'm sorry about your husband.
Yes, so I am.
Luvi?
-Luvi. -Yes?
This might be a sign of fate, because I was thinking about you recently.
Do you want to fuck?
I'm kidding.
Just kidding.
No, it's just... I started my own business.
I've opened my own law firm.
And I was wondering, would it be too weird if I asked you
to come and work for... With me?
You brought me coffee.
-Yes, it's weird. -I'm not a lawyer anymore.
It's for the best, since I sentenced my innocent husband to 15 years.
Well, you know what I mean,
I just think you're the best lawyer I've ever known.
Yes, I know. Thank you.
Have fun.
Okay, here we are.
Home sweet home. The suitcase.
-Can you open this? -Yes, sorry.
-Otherwise I can't get out. -There we go. Tracina's family kingdom.
Welcome to Wowter World.
The name is worse than the park.
-I'll help you up the stairs. It's okay. -No. I said no.
Anyway, there's a bit of everything here.
But it's all fucked up. That's the problem.
Hi, mate!
There are sea lions, penguins, killer whales.
Ten tons of killer whale worth two villas, swimming in a pool the size of a bidet.
And there, the sea turtles.
Wowter World
For adults and kids
Come with us
With orcas and penguins Wowter World
It will be so much fun
Welcome to Wowter World!
We are at the Lentini interchange...
And that's Marianuccio.
Marianuccio?
Yes, little Mariano.
-His name is Mariano? -You don't like it?
He's always crying, except when he's in the water.
It's incredible.
ENZUCCIO TRACINA SALVATORE TRACINA'S SON
Cousin Balduccio.
I know, I'm paranoid.
The question is, am I paranoid enough?
Welcome to Wowter World!
Seals and elephant seals! Fun for the whole family!
-It's been a long time. -Since you were ten, right?
How is Uncle Fofò?
UNCLE FOFÒ REMORA 1946-2011
May he rest in peace.
Sorry,
I meant Uncle Totò. I don't hang out with the Remoras.
Uncle Totò...
UNCLE TOTÒ REMORA 2 YEARS FOR MINOR CRIMES 2013-2015
He's fine, ever since he got out of jail.
Why did you come back?
"The wind has calmed down, so the boat return out to sea."
I missed Sicily.
I need to fix a couple of things
and then I'll go back to America, South America.
I brought a gift,
for the little boy.
Your mother made it,
when I was a child.
Mom was good, wasn't she?
Very good.
Come and meet Mariano.
Lumumba! Fish out my son!
He's moving his feet!
He wants to stay in the water. Watch what he does.
Come to Daddy.
You're so cute.
Balduccio Remora, meet Mariano Tracina.
Mariano Suro Tracina.
-Right. -Put him back in the water.
Put him back in the water? He's gonna grow scales.
Here, Lumumba. Put him back in the water.
Slowly.
MARIANO SURO'S YOUNGEST CHILD ENZUCCIO TRACINA'S WIFE
Anyway, go get some rest. I'll see you tonight at dinner.
Everyone wants to meet you. All the survivors, I mean.
Management invites our guests to visit the turtles.
Come and try
the famous Wowter World restaurant!
It's time to dance!
Look! The dog bit him.
Does this look normal to you?
How is this possible? Look!
I'm gonna sue all of you!
It's just me here, madame. There's no, "All of you."
Can't you see? Don't you see the dog bit him?
I'll disinfect it.
Don't you touch my son!
It's a superficial wound.
I'll ruin you! You're going to jail, I'll send you to jail!
Let me see. It's nothing, Antonella.
Nothing? My cousin is here! My cousin is a lawyer!
You're done! You're finished! I'm going to get this dog put down.
What are you talking about, Antonella? Will you calm down, please?
Who opened the gate?
I did, to save my son from your dog.
So, your son entered the pen.
So, what?
The villa was rented for the reception, but not Mandorla's pen.
It's registered as an independent unit.
The dog was locked in there, to not bother the guests.
It's all written down in the contract signed by your sister.
My sister.
This is trespassing.
Article 614 of the Criminal Code, one to four years imprisonment.
If the crime is committed with violence
against things, or people, that is,
if the culprit is obviously armed,
the penalty is from two to six years.
Good boy.
It also depends on the judge, and how much the judge loves animals.
Who doesn't love animals?
No way.
Of course, in this regard, there is also Article 544c,
torturing an animal out of cruelty or without need.
Imprisonment from 3 to 18 months or a fine from 5 to 30,000 euros.
Fortunately, the offender is younger than 14 years old.
Article 47.
And thus, not imputable.
He isn't.
If you want, we can address the issue of parental authority,
but I think I've said enough.
So, let's do this,
you pay me 10,000 euros and the case is closed.
All right?
Your sister has my IBAN number. Here she is. Beautiful!
No.
Here. Best wishes!
-Very nice. -Actually...
Here comes Balduccio!
Hey!
GIUSEPPE PERCHIA ALIAS "THE SKINNY ONE"
You've changed.
No.
Hi, Balduccio.
FRANCESCO & MANFREDI ZERRO SECOND COUSINS OF ENZUCCIO TRACINA
-How long are you staying? -Not long.
How's that?
I'm fixing a couple of issues and then heading back.
Are you staying for the baptism?
I'll be offended, right?
Yes, right.
Family first.
No doubt.
Marianuccio?
Marianuccio is with Lumumba. He cannot spend the night in the water.
This is the result.
Balduccio, look at what I found.
Look at that! My hair was really curly!
No, that isn't you. It's Cosimuccio, may he rest in peace.
May he rest in peace.
Did my father kill him?
Let me introduce you to my wife, Teresa.
My cousin, Balduccio.
He can't attend.
-Why not? -He'll ruin the symmetry.
The tables are for eight. Can't have one with nine.
Come, Balduccio.
See... My wife is a bit imaginative, as Catullus says.
The Catullo who has the bakery in Bray square?
-No, sit down. -See?
I shouldn't have been born in this family. I've bought more books than condoms.
Clearly.
The food is here.
Take a seat, Balduccio.
My goodness, never again.
I'll take this one.
You're still alive.
The new face works.
And the baby?
A great pain in the ass.
-He cries all the time. -Like his dad.
I have bad news, Salvatore. No boom-boom.
They don't want me there.
Has Enzuccio gone crazy?
Not Enzuccio. She doesn't want me.
Who? The crazy woman? The crazy one has control?
No one would dare contradict a Suro.
By the way,
the baby's name,
is not Salvatore.
His name is Mariano.
You just,
stabbed me in the heart, sir.
She even gave him two last names.
Mariano Suro Tracina. That's the little boy's name.
Hello? Are you still there? Salvatore?
Salvatore?
Bitch! Fucking bitch! Go to hell, motherfucker!
She's a fucking bitch!
Bitch, I'll show you!
Bitch! Your father is a bastard! A Suro girl commanding in my house?
Fucking bitch!
What are you doing?
Trying to kill yourself?
Sometimes, I feed really sad.
But then it passes.
If it hadn't been for me, everything would have passed.
Marianuccio?
He cries all the time, but he's not crying after all this mess.
Right, Marianuccio?
Go to Mommy.
Come on.
Here he is.
You hold him. He's calmer with you.
Is he calmer with me?
MY BAPTISM MARIANO
Villa Donadio.
Are you sure?
Reliable source.
There'll be 600 years of jail time there between the Tracinas and the Suros.
Even if the head Suro won't be there.
Okay. Let's move.
Sir.
You look better naked.
You have to stop. Leave my husband alone.
Your husband?
Driving with a broken left mirror is very dangerous.
My mirror isn't broken.
Don't pretend. Just stop it.
He pays you the way I paid you. Except with dinners and clothes.
Fuck off!
He only shows you off.
I love you.
I don't.
Come on, you enjoyed it too. I know you liked what we were.
And you liked me.
Marshal.
It was a job. Like yours as a special carabiniere.
Do you know what I like? What I've always liked?
Let's take a tennis ball, a sharp knife,
and then let's add the ends of electric wires.
And this one, as you can see, is a switch.
That's our detonator.
It has to be orange juice, one liter,
ice-cold.
Then we mix it.
Then we cut it.
A generous amount of gasoline.
Seal it all up.
Shit.
Let's start again.
Tennis ball, sharp knife,
cut it...
Mix it...
Fuck!
Fuck off!
Such a pain in the ass!
Fuck yes!
Fuck yeah!
Sometimes,
fate gives you a second chance,
a second life.
But I don't know what to do with it.
I want the one I had before, but I can't get it back.
Mandorla!
But there's one thing I can do.
Keep my promise.
Mandorla, enough! What's going on?
In this second life,
I made three big discoveries, really important ones.
The first,
to cure my rhinitis,
I just needed a rhinoplasty. I can breathe fine now.
The second,
making a homemade bomb is super easy.
A two year-old baby could do it.
The third discovery, the most important,
is that a desperate man is capable of anything.
Even killing.
Even of blowing himself up.
I promised you I'd avenge your father.
And here I am.
Goodbye, Luvi.
See you in another life.
Now, we take one with the godparents.
You're holding him wrong.
You'll mess up my dress.
Here.
The godfather.
PRISCILLA SURO MARIANO SURO'S FIRSTBORN
Let's all go for a toast!
Wait, my phone.
You'll get it back at the end.
They've left.
Be ready. They're coming.
What's this bastard doing?
-What's the matter? -What are we doing?
Gentlemen! Change of plans! Follow us!
-What happened? -What? Aren't we going to the villa?
No, we're going someplace else. Much nicer.
How's that? The party, the food... Are we going to waste it all?
You have a problem, Domenico?
No. Problem? No. All right.
I thought so.
Let's go.
Why is he doing this?
-I don't know. -Can we stop by the villa for a moment?
-For what? -To get something.
-What? -A surprise.
What surprise?
Some fireworks to celebrate Mariano.
-No, cousin. We can't... -It's a minute away!
We have to follow him. You can't see fireworks during the day.
Let's go, come on.
They should be there by now.
There's nobody here, Marshal.
Our cover's blown!
-Marshal! -I'm sorry.
What does your reliable source say?
THURSDAY FILM CLUB
MISSED CALLS THURSDAY FILM CLUB
No answer.
I still don't get it.
Villa Donadio looked nicer.
And this is the nicer place?
Great...
Congratulations.
-Thank you. -Look at the baby's eyes!
He looks like his mother. Beautiful.
Look at that girl! Hot!
Thank you.
Thank you very much for coming.
-Excuse me, can I have a word? -Tell me.
The tables are all set for eight and yours is set for nine.
-There's a mistake. -Why are you worried about that?
-This is a party, have fun. -The symmetry... Excuse me,
If there's a mistake, I'll tell someone to fix it.
There's no mistake. We're waiting for someone.
-Congratulations. -Thanks a lot.
Uncle, how are you? Is everything okay?
Sorry.
-Do you have orange juice? -Sure. I'll get it.
Can I have three liters of it, please? Ice-cold.
Thank you.
Come on.
Out of the way!
Did you put pepper in it?
Does it smell like gasoline?
Dear, who are your parents?
Rosaria Russo and Beppe Remora.
I'm Balduccio.
Beppe, I remember him.
We danced the twist once, it was amazing. He was really good at it.
Too bad he was married.
A real shame.
I'd like to make a toast since this is my third glass already.
Are you married?
How can you smoke this shit?
Nino, I've decided to go back to work.
I miss it too much.
Almost as much as I miss you.
Let's see how many other innocent people I can convict.
LAW FIRM ATTORNEY MATTEO BOCCANERA
Is there room for two of us?
Hi!
All the greats started in a garage. Right?
Take a seat, please.
Can I take that?
Can you make me a coffee?
Yes, of course.
No sugar, splash of cold milk. Correct?
I was joking.
But if you want to...
Yes, sure. I'm going to...
Do you know when you have a purpose in your life,
something to achieve and you just can't?
How you're restless.
You try the good way, nothing. The bad way, nothing.
What else can you do?
What can you do, Balduccio? What?
-What the fuck can you do? -Let's dance, come on.
You go.
I'll join you. You go.
Take care. Cheer up!
All right.
I want to see you dancing!
Use those hands!
You're back! Let's dance!
CATALDO PALAMITA MARIANO SURO'S RIGHT-HAND MAN
Mariano!
Mariano! Where is Mariano?
Where is Mariano? Balduccio, where is Mariano?
Mariano!
IN THE NEXT EPISODE
How many men and guns do we have?
If you're a man, go get your son back.
We'll act like Spartacus.
Crucified on the Appian Way?
Why did I send you private school?
Swear you'll bring my son back.
Love, "Vincit omnia."
Right?
Love's the worst curse to befall man.
My father for my son.
So, what now?
It's a giant mess.
Damn. He's like Scarface.