[moaning]
♪ Here comes another long and lonely night ♪
Oh, yeah.
♪ Don't think that I can make it through ♪
Oh, Santi.
♪ Another lonely, lonely night...
[sighs]
- Hey. - I love you so much.
I don't know what I was thinking. You were right.
[sighs] Say it!
I do want to marry you.
Yes!
[both moaning and sighing]
♪ And then you came into my life...
Oh, yeah, baby.
Oh, yeah, papi.
Yeah.
[moaning]
Oh.
Ooh.
♪ But now I haven't felt the same...
- Do you like that? - I do.
Oh...
You're so good with your hands, Nick.
I know. That's why you keep me in the rotation,
'cause I can give it to you...
Shh!
Can you just do the thing
with your fingers where you make me...?
- Oh, this? - Oh, yeah.
♪ You better watch out for the falling tears...
Yeah.
Oh, yeah! [giggles]
[sighs]
Oh.
Hot barista from Bridge City Grind?
Hi. [giggles]
I hope you don't mind. I just like to watch.
Hell yeah.
Oh...
Hey, you.
Henry, get out of here.
Oh, my God. You're ridiculously hot,
but you're engaged to my brother.
You sure?
Tempting. [gasps]
But no. No!
♪ There was a time when I was...
[heavy breathing]
Okay.
[moaning]
- Ah. - [laughs]
- You're back. - I never left, baby.
[sighs] Oh, yeah, baby.
[both moaning]
♪ Why do you even come around?
- [thudding] - Wait. Hold on.
[loud thudding]
- [Beatriz] Oh. Oh, yeah, baby. - [Jorge Sr.] Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
- [Beatriz] Come on, come on... - [sighs] It's ruined.
[Jorge Sr.] Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
- Just leave. [sighs] - [indistinct chatter]
- [Beatriz] Oh! - [vibrator buzzing]
[Jorge Sr.] Never mind. Never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. - [buzzing stops]
- Yeah! - [Beatriz] Yeah!
- Yeah. - [thudding]
♪ ♪
Morning, sweetheart.
Did you throw out my leftover dumplings from XLB?
Oh, yeah, they were five days old.
Well, I am trying to save money on lunch
so I can move out and not have your moans be my alarm clock.
I do not know what you're referring to.
[clears throat]
Changing the subject, um, I wanted to check in with you.
I know you're happy for your brother,
but it's got to be a little tough
to have his engagement party tonight
when you're only two months out of your breakup.
- How you doing, hmm? - Some days are better than others.
- Hmm. - I miss him,
but it was clear we both wanted different things.
- Mm. - But thankfully, I have a lot to distract me,
like, I need to find a new place to live.
Do you? You know you can stay here forever.
Mom, that's so sweet... and so depressing.
[Jorge Sr.] Aw, what a beautiful sight.
- My two girls. - [Beatriz] Mm.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Good morning.
Good... morning.
[both laugh]
[Beatriz] Mmm. Mmm.
I got to get out of here.
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
I said minced garlic, not chopped, okay?
This isn't the Olive Garden.
- At least when you're there, you're family. - Mm-hmm.
What's going on?
Shouldn't you two be chilling before your engagement party?
That's what we should be doing, but Jorge is convinced
that my parents don't like him,
and is now cooking a Filipino brunch to win them over.
Yeah. And this? This is going to work.
I have not spent enough time with Lea and Ben
for them to get the full Jorge razzle dazzle.
They've only got half razzle, at best.
- Disaster. - My parents think you're great.
Not enough!
- Set the table, please. - Ooh. Work. Okay.
Tonight has to be perfect, Henry.
And it cannot be perfect if they are not completely
and utterly obsessed with me.
And the quickest way
to someone's heart is through their stomach.
So this meal is going to be like an aphrodisiac for your parents,
like your mom's going to want to hump the adobo.
- Yay? - Well, if your mom humps the adobo,
make sure you take a video 'cause I got to jet.
Got another delivery for my gym.
Ooh, my gym.
I like the sound of that.
That's exciting! Did you ever land on a name?
I was originally going to go with "Swole,"
- but that was the general consensus, yeah. - [groans]
So I went with "Workout."
Yeah, "I'm going to Workout."
[gasps] Double meaning!
[Henry] I like it!
It's simple, it's clear.
Congrats, dude.
Oh, and we will see you and Ana tonight, yeah?
Oh, just me. I didn't invite Ana.
Oh, did you and Ana break up?
- No, we didn't. - Okay, so,
you're not inviting your girlfriend
to your best friend's engagement party that she definitely
knows about? Bold choice.
No, she's very chill.
We don't have to do everything together. Later.
- [door opens, closes] - This better not blow up later.
Oh. Here, try this.
Okay.
Oh, yeah. Full razzle.
- [giggles] - Mmm.
No kissing in the kitchen.
Get back to work.
- Yes, sir. - [giggles]
Good morning.
[gasps] What is this? Breakfast in bed?
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
Hi.
- Good morning. - Mmm.
Thanks for letting me sleep in.
Rounds went so late last night.
Yeah, of course, but, uh, we got to get moving
because I told Luis and Marta we'd be there soon,
and I don't want to be late.
Look at you, all excited about your bro-hang with my gramps.
This is a win-win situation.
I get a day of pampering with my abuela,
and you guys can spend the day talking about how great we are.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It's going to be a real hermano hang.
- [chuckles] Don't do that. - Okay, you're just jealous
because I now know more Spanish words than you.
Thanks, Duolingo.
Uh, okay, you got me.
What? You don't have to get up. There's time to eat.
Actually, I want to take this to the kitchen
where it makes more sense to eat
because breakfast in bed is sweet,
[whispering] but revolting.
I don't want these croissant crumbs in my bed.
¿Huevos en la cama?
It's a thing.
It's not a thing.
[knocking]
[both] It's hike o'clock!
- What's up?! - Could y'all be any louder?
- Morning. - Yeah, I can, actually.
You ready to go climb a mountain?
Do you mean, am I ready to pull you up a mountain? Can't wait.
Come on, baby. Stop snooping.
Just looking for any evidence of a female presence,
'cause he doesn't tell us anything,
so I got to Sherlock this shit!
Look, I told you I'm putting myself out there.
Okay.
- What's this? - Oh, can you not?
That's... that's something I was building for somebody.
For Lily.
Well, we broke up before I could give it to her, so...
- [coughs] - Do you need some water?
[clears throat] Nah, I'm cool.
Look, I'm okay, all right?
I just haven't had time to...
put it in the garage yet.
In two months, you haven't had any time?
I need a hand truck. Okay, I can't just...
It's a whole thing.
He out here talking about hand trucks, baby.
Mm. The hand truck issue. Yeah. Got it. Uh-huh.
You know, I'm this close to just...
reading a book, staying my ass at home,
and you can carry your Andre up the hill yourself.
Okay, okay, okay! I'll drop it. Dropped.
Just so y'all know in advance, my knee hurts a little,
but I'm going to complain about it a lot.
- Of course, baby. - Yeah, we know.
- Come on, girl. - Oh, let's go.
- Thank you for knowing me. - Mm-hmm.
You were doing pushups before we came, huh?
All right, well, I got to get dressed for work, babe.
Work? I thought we were going to have
a laid-back day together before the party tonight.
I wish. But I got to get to the restaurant.
The turnaround between the brunch
and the party is really tight.
Yes, but your very responsible son
has arranged every detail,
you have a well-paid staff to execute,
Lily's at work and my parents are gone.
I know. But I haven't been there in a long time,
and I want to make sure that they're doing things my way,
- mi amor. - Mm.
Really?
Okay.
Oh. [chuckles]
You are making it very hard for me to leave.
- Yes, that is my intention. - Mmm. Mmm.
No, no. No, no! Babe, you're killing me
but I've got to go. I have to go!
I get a redo later.
Ooh!
- Oh, what's wrong with me? - Hmm.
[sighs]
Well, now I'm just tits out in the kitchen.
[grunts]
Okay. You guys have to try these memelas.
Oh, I can't eat another bite.
To be honest with you, Jorge, we got bumped to business class,
so we already ate. They served "steak."
Well, I-I haven't even served the fifth course yet,
- so... - There's more?
- Yeah. - How thoughtful.
I haven't eaten Filipino food in, like, forever.
This is delicious.
Oh, yeah, no, Jorge has been doing a lot of research
on all things Filipino.
Yeah. I mean, our wedding is a merging of two cultures,
and I just want to make sure that your family is
as well-represented as mine.
That is so sweet, Jorge.
No, no, no, I-I insist.
I mean, what can we do to honor your family?
You know, I saw this amazing editorial about, like,
Filipino wedding traditions. You know what,
I actually have it bookmarked. Let me just grab it real quick.
Actually, we don't have a lot of Filipino traditions
in our family.
But there are some traditions
that are important to us
as proud Texans.
- Proud what now? - Yes.
Great idea. We can't bring the wedding to Texas,
but we can bring Texas to the wedding.
- You thinking what I'm thinking? - Yes.
Line dancing!
- Yee-haw! - [laughter]
[laughs nervously]
[clears throat]
You're the best, Lily.
Thanks to you, my face will be baggage-free,
even though my life isn't.
Please, Erin. You're gorgeous.
Anyone is going to have puffiness after
crying all night over an ex. I've been there.
I swear, Lily, you are like free therapy.
You know what? I do want you to order that depuffing mask.
- Put it on my tab. - Of course.
Nice work, Diaz. Cha-ching, cha-ching.
That's how you stay on top.
About that... do you have a minute?
Yeah. Roll with me while I restock the Fenty.
[sighs] So... I've been consistently top in sales
- for the three and a half years I've been here... - Mm-hmm.
...and I've taken on training staff
and managing brand deals...
Uh, yes. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Which is why I think it's time for a little raise.
Ugh, I wish I could, but salaries are only renegotiated
at your annual review.
Yes, but that's not for another six months.
My salary hasn't kept up with inflation
or the rising cost of living.
I had to take out a loan just to buy a salad.
- Mm. - Do you know how much a salad
- is these days? - I know.
It's so expensive to be alive and beautiful.
Dina, I'm living with my parents,
- and they have a very healthy sex life. - Mm.
Please help me.
Tell you what I can do.
I'm going to look the other way,
and you can take home some of the returns.
You're welcome.
[sighs]
♪ ♪
- Hey! - Hey.
Luis, your man-date is here.
Ah, you mean hombre date.
Aw, that's sweet.
Goodbye, my love.
Have a good time.
- Thank you. - We will.
You, too.
- Have fun. - Adios.
Have fun. All right, my man, what are we going to do?
Play a little dominos, watch some Judge Judy, take a nap?
You have a very limited view of what old people do.
Today, señor, you have the privilege of learning
about romance from the master.
Oh, well, that's great.
But, uh, I'm already pretty romantic.
This morning I brought Sol breakfast in bed.
Oh, oh, yeah, I heard.
What's next, tres leches on the toilet?
You need my help.
Vaminos. Let's go.
Okay, so I double-checked with the DJ about the playlist,
and thank God that I did because it's like, The Chainsmokers?
That borders on a hate crime, Henry.
So, I redid it, and thank God that I did,
and the emotional journey goes as follows.
Shock and awe at arrival,
dance your face off mid-party,
and then, we finish with, like, that gut punch
of "Will we ever have a love like Jorge and Henry's?"
Aww. Oh, and then, remember,
somewhere between "dance your face off" and "love gut punch,"
I'm officially asking my friends to be my best men.
Yeah, yeah, it's all on the agenda.
- And that's so sweet, by the way, babe. - [phone vibrates]
Also... so, what about these, um, these Texas traditions
- your parents mentioned? - [phone vibrates]
Oh, they won't stop texting me about them.
- [vibrating continues] - Oh, and they love you.
Well, that's exactly what I wanted.
I got to go. I'm taking my parents shopping.
They left their Texas formal wear at home.
They said you made them feel so comfortable,
they just want to represent.
You know, Henry, they also don't need new outfits.
You know, they're representing. They're representing so good.
What, are you kidding?
My dad's motto is "you can never have too many ten-gallon hats."
[laughs nervously] That is so funny.
[sighs] Fun.
- Okay, you ready? - Okay. Yeah.
Watch your step, watch your step.
Whoa, whoa! [laughs] Okay.
- All right, you ready? - Ready.
- Ah! - [gasps] Nick!
- Yeah! - What?!
- I know. - This is amazing!
Check it out, refillable water stations.
Zero plastic, baby.
In fact, let me give you some eco-friendly schwag
from the president, the CEO,
the founder of "Workout" gym.
- Thank you. - [chuckles] Ooh.
I'm also the cleaning crew.
- I can't wait to work out here. - Yeah.
And some days say I'm going to work out,
- but stay in bed and eat Doritos. - [laughs]
Oh, and other days show up in a cute matching set,
take selfies, and then leave.
Well, none of this would've happened
if you hadn't planted the seed.
That's sweet.
But you're the one who found the location
and got the equipment and handled all the insurance,
license and permits.
Wait, I had to do all that?
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I did all that.
It was a lot of hard work, but I did it,
and it felt really great.
Look at you, totally crushing it on all fronts.
I mean, you own your apartment, have an awesome girlfriend,
- and started a business. - Oh...
[sighs]
I feel very inspired, if just a teensy bit jealous.
- Of me? - Yeah.
I feel so behind.
Like, look at you.
I can't even get a measly raise.
I... [sighs]
How did you get your shit together before me?
Well, it took a lot of discipline.
Waking up at 6:00 a.m., meditating,
a manifestation journal. Oh, and incredibly wealthy,
if not emotionally neglectful, parents.
- Mostly that last one. - Mm.
- [sighs] - Hey.
Go easy on yourself, Diaz.
Your takeaway here should be that if I can
get my shit together, you definitely can.
- ♪ ♪ - [glass shatters]
[siren wailing]
This is going to be good.
But not illegal, right?
You ask too many questions.
[knocks on door]
- The usual? - A little extra today.
Shh.
Shh. Now, we should get out of here.
- Why? - Just...
Hello. Uh, not today. My treat.
Well, gracias, mija.
It's been paid.
I don't understand. This...
A very dapper gentleman took care of that,
and he left you this note.
Okay. "Brown sugar and spice can be found here, too,
but everything nice is a memory of you."
Oh!
- Is this what I think it is? - Yes.
One of your abuelo's scavenger hunts.
Where are we going next?
- Follow me. - Thank you.
The clues take them to all of Marta's favorite places
around the city. See? Look.
Oh, thank God. [laughs]
'Cause I'm not going to lie, I was a little worried it might be
backroom lotto.
I already won the lotto, her name is Marta.
[Annie] See? Fresh air, moving our bodies...
All right, you act like I'm a recluse.
I do work out, okay?
My problem isn't that I don't move my body.
That's his problem.
I can't be good at everything, baby.
We just like seeing you.
And I like seeing you; I don't mind being a third wheel.
There could be four wheels
if you actually started dating again.
But for real, c-can we slow down for a second?
Look, I appreciate it, I do, all right.
But I'm just not like you guys.
I don't see the whole marriage package thing
as being appealing.
[Andre] Guys! My knee is killing me.
It's like it has its own heartbeat.
Aww.
Oh, my gosh, Melanie!
What are you doing here?
Annie! I literally told you yesterday
- how I work out here every Saturday morning. - That's right.
I must've forgotten. Oh, Melanie,
this is my friend Santiago.
Santiago, this is Melanie.
She also hates marriage.
Hi. [laughs]
Hi.
When I asked Henry's parents to share their traditions,
I thought they were talking about Filipino traditions,
'cause ours kind of intersect, you know,
- no thank you, Spanish colonizers. - Yeah.
But no, they're proud Texans, okay?
Texas wedding traditions are almost as bad
as their track record on reproductive rights, okay?
Exhibit A, Henry texts me today, he goes,
"Which one of these cowboy hats looks best with my suit?"
No hats, Henry! No hats is best, okay?
Okay, you have to chill out because it's very hard
to do a lymphatic drainage to your face
when your eye is twitching.
Okay, there.
This really helps with puffiness.
And I have a new serum
that I mix with tinted moisturizer
to make you look dewy and fresh.
- Mm. - Like, "Oh,
I just woke up like this."
[laughter]
Wow, I forgot how good you are at this.
Like... really good.
Thanks. This is why I wanted to be a makeup artist.
All this creative stuff that you've been letting me
practice on you since I could hold a blush brush.
Well, I am the perfect canvas.
It just sucks, because at Lash,
it's mostly about selling products.
And this is what I love.
I think I want to focus more on building my own client list,
and do more private events.
I can do that, right?
Of course you can do that, Lil.
I mean, you were just so dick-drunk on Santiago
that you, like, neglected the things you actually care about.
Which, I'm sorry to say, like, you have a tendency to do.
Like, you lose yourself in a relationship.
One cute boy comes along and it's like "bye!"
to all the, like, cool stuff you're working on.
Well, I'm not getting that raise,
- so all the more reason to do my own thing. - Yes.
Otherwise, I'm just going to live in this house
until I inherit it.
Oh, that's cute that you think that
you're inheriting the house.
I'm the favorite child.
- Lil! Lily! - [laughs]
It's a setting spray, don't worry. Look at...
God, at my engagement party?
Well, look at how beautiful you look.
Yeah, you're right, it looks amazing.
Yeah, do a little bit more on the brow.
I'm sorry we blindsided you on your hike.
No, I appreciate the company.
But, uh, you and I have actually met before.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
Uh, you remember that.
I was kind of hoping you didn't.
A couple of years ago we went on a date.
Oh, a very short date.
Apparently he had to go home because he was excited
to finish the book he was reading.
Which was actually a gift, because I was
looking for an excuse to start therapy.
Well, that-that wasn't a lie.
Yeah, I've known this guy for a long time.
He's really that much of a nerd.
I remember the name of the book. The Overstory.
By Richard Powers? I love that book.
All right, I would've left my ass, too.
Well, I'm sorry for how I acted.
- I was pretty closed off back then. - And now?
Now? Now, I'm smart enough to put down a good book
if it means getting to know a beautiful woman better.
Good answer.
- That's my boy. - Great answer! Great answer.
- [Sol] It's kind of a nice day. - [Marta] It is a lovely day.
[gasps] Is this it?
Oh, yes.
Your abuelo brought me here on our first date in Portland.
Que cute.
Well, we didn't have a lot of money when we got here
but that didn't stop your abuelo.
- Thank you. - [gasps]
Abuelo was so smooth. Look, another clue.
Ooh.
"One breathes fire,
and we kissed under one of these many times
when we were courting."
I guess abuelo got tired of rhyming. [laughs]
"Breathes fire"?
Dragon.
Yes! Dragon bridge?
Dragon canopy? Dragon church pew?
How many things did y'all kiss under?
A lot. We were hiding from my parents.
- [snaps fingers] - Dragontree.
Dragontree Spa.
I love that place.
Me, too.
- Okay, first we eat... - Mm-hmm.
...and then we get pampered.
Let's drink. Wow.
Thank you for showing me your ways, Rey of Romance.
[laughs]
Eh, cause "rey" means king?
Yeah, I got it.
Marta wanted time with Sol, but I also know
she needed a little spoiling.
It's brilliant.
You don't stop playing when you get old.
You get old when you stop playing.
¡Asi!
[laughs] Que... Ahora que buen día tuvimos.
Whoa, whoa, hold up.
I haven't hit that part of the Duolingo yet.
¿De que estás hablando, Gabriel?
Luis, I'm... who's Gabriel?
I'm-I'm Miles, I'm not Gabriel.
♪ ♪
I know that.
You remind me of my cousin Gabriel.
Same hair.
Okay.
Thanks, man. Thank you.
Okay, here you go.
- Let me know about the book signing. - I will.
Thank you for crashing my hike.
- This was fun, guys. - Anytime.
- Nice to meet you. - It was.
Book signing. That's hot.
You think a book signing is hot?
I was just being supportive.
Come on. There was totally a vibe.
Yeah, no, Melanie was cool.
But, Annie, you got to chill out.
Okay, listen, I know you're an introvert
who doesn't like all that sappy love stuff,
but you also have depressive tendencies.
Ever since you and Lily ended things,
you've isolated yourself, so, yes, we're worried about you.
- [Andre] Yeah. - And I know that if
I'm a little insistent,
I can push you out of your comfort zone.
So, yes, because I love you, I'm going to do what I do.
- That's my girl. Mm-hmm. - I know that's right.
You're right.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
So, you're going to call her, right?
I'm thinking about it.
I might. Don't get your hopes up.
- Okay, no, I won't. - All right.
- Should we talk baby names? - It's time to talk baby names.
- I'm gonna head out. - Yeah, because I was thinking
- we could call him Santiago Junior. - Yeah, yeah.
And, oh, we could call him S.J. Or Santito for short!
- I like Tito! - Yes!
♪ Oh, yes, baby ♪
♪ I love you so, yeah ♪
♪ And I'll never, pretty baby...
- [laughter] - [man] You better not.
- [indistinct chatter] - [laughter]
- Hey! - Hey.
- Hey, guys! - Hey. Oh, hi.
- What's up? - This is James and Javier...
- Hi. - ...Henry's best friends from childhood.
- Nice to meet you. - Hey, guys, thank you so much
for flying out for the party.
Are you kidding? We wouldn't miss it!
Yeah, we are so happy for Henry.
He was, like, such a dork in high school,
that we actually thought he'd never find someone.
- [laughter] - Oh, I don't believe that!
No, you are right. Everybody loved him.
And he's always been handsome.
But, no, there was a rough patch where he had a mullet.
- And I bet he pulled it off. - [Javier] You know what?
- He kind of did. - [laughter]
Well, Henry's picking up his parents.
- He'll be here really soon. - Oh, great.
- We're going to hit up the bar. - All right. Have fun.
- Pleasure. - Nice to meet you. - Whoa.
- They seem like nice guys. - Hey. - Hi.
Look at this place. Looks like your Pinterest page
- come to life. - Yeah.
I have the vision, and I execute the vision.
- Yeah, you do. - [phone chimes] - Oh.
Who's that?
All right, they're here.
- I'll be right back. - [laughter]
Oh, uh, this is a little something from Ana.
Oh, will she be joining us soon?
Nope, she won't.
Oh, is she sick?
Uh, no. I just didn't invite her.
Well, I hope you know that you could have.
I do. I just... didn't.
But she sent a gift.
- Of course she did. She's very lovely. I... - Yeah.
I'm starting to feel weird about this.
Now I feel weird about this.
- [mumbles] - I don't know.
No, they did not.
- Oh, one more, one more. - Mm-hmm.
- Jorge! - Hey.
Come get in the photos with us!
No! This is just for your family.
- Babe, come on! - Come, come on!
All right, okay.
- Yes. - Come!
- Hi! - Hold on.
These photos are going to look ridiculous.
Thank you, yes, a-absolutely.
- Jorge doesn't have a hat. - Oh, my God!
- Lea, give Jorge his hat. - Oh, oh, yes!
- No. - For sure.
- Here you go. - Okay.
- [Lea] Oh. Perfect. Perfect. - Oh... wow. - Perfect!
Everybody say "Yee-haw."
[all] Yee-haw!
Mm. I am so happy for them.
Ever since Henry met Jorge,
he basically floats into work every day.
He's like a butterfly you want to punch in the face.
- They're disgustingly cute. - Mm. And Jorge looks amazing,
as usual. I would kill for his skin and eyebrows.
Oh. Oh, that-that's not him, that's me. I'm a makeup artist.
- I did his makeup. - He's wearing makeup?
- Yup. A lot of it. - Oh, dang, girl. You are good.
Thank you! I appreciate it.
You know, if you or any of your friends ever want
to get your makeup done, hit me up.
- I can do natural or full glam. - Hmm.
And I am now taking private clients.
Okay, well, I actually have a wedding next weekend.
- Mm-hmm. - And it's going to be crawling with ex-boyfriends.
I want my presence to make them weep with regret.
- That is my specialty. Mm-hmm. - Yes, girl!
I'll get your info from Henry. Ciao!
- I am in hell. - What? Why?
This party is incredible.
Yeah, of course the party's incredible,
but Henry's parents are now choreographing a line dance?
One and two and three, clap-clap.
It's like what's next? Like, a barn-raisin' weddin'?
I was so worried about them not liking me,
that it never occurred to me that I might not like them.
And, Lil, this is forever. This is for life!
Yes, that's what marriage is.
[panting] Do something. I'm feeling very overwhelmed
about the largeness of all of this, and I...
Okay, Jorgito, everything is going to be okay.
This is a very natural reaction, okay?
Yeah. You're right. Everything's going to be fine.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay.
Oh, oh, speaking of fine, oh, Dinesh is here. Yummy.
- Ah. Yum-yum. - Right. There she is.
Lil gonna Lil.
What does that mean?
It means that a few hours ago,
we had a very meaningful conversation
about your next steps, and I don't want
to see some cute boy derail that.
- True. - Good.
But he's so hot!
All right. Throw it all away.
Someone should have fun tonight.
Jorgito, stop being so dramatic.
You're about to marry the love of your life, okay?
I'm the one who's alone and living with our parents.
- And you're much older. - Mm-hmm.
- Mm. - [laughs] That made me feel
a lot better, thank you.
Of course.
Oh, God. Oh, no. Henry's mom's talking to the DJ.
- I have to go. - Oh.
[phone vibrating]
- Hey. - [Melanie] Hi.
I was going to wait for you to text me,
but I don't have time for that.
[laughs]
- Hi. - Hey. [laughs]
It's so funny to see you here, 'cause just yesterday,
- I sat on your face. - Oh! [laughs]
Right, my bus advertisements.
[both laugh]
The life of a realtor.
Mm-hmm. You should shave that beard, though.
It's a little prickly.
- Some people like it. - Huh.
♪ I love you...
Hey, congrats on the gym, man. That's great.
Thank you, thank you. [laughs]
Where is Ana? I really like her.
- [sighs] - [Miles] Oh. Uh-oh.
- Did we miss some chisme? - [Sol chuckles]
Hmm? Yeah, I'm not going to stop.
Lo siento, no lo siento.
I didn't invite her, okay? And now I'm getting
Diaz'd about it, and as much as I'd like to think
that everyone else is wrong, I know
that if the Diaz family thinks you screwed up, you screwed up.
Yeah, Nick, you screwed up.
I mean, why didn't you just invite her?
I don't know! I just... God! It...
[sighs]
You know what? No. It is fine.
She is very, very laid back.
In fact, I am going to text her right now.
"Hey, babe." Heart emoji, heart emoji.
Hmm?
"Hi." Period.
No emoji. There's no emoji.
I...
Shit.
I'm going to get a drink.
- Oh, you got a... - Uh, you got a drink right there. Okay.
Another drink. Another drink. [clears throat]
[laughs] Oh. I remember those days.
Feeling clueless.
Well, that will never be you again
after your day with my abuelo.
Listen, uh,
I need to talk to you about something.
I was going to wait, but I've learned
that keeping things from you isn't wise.
Okay.
It's about Luis.
Okay, this is great. Come back and get the empanadas next
once that's gone, okay? Thanks!
Honey, my parents have some news
- they're excited to share with you. - Oh.
As you know, we are University of Texas alums.
- Hook 'em horns! - Yeah.
- I remember. - The school mascot is Bevo,
a beautiful Texas longhorn steer.
It's a sacred tradition to have Bevo at your wedding.
- It brings good luck! - Oh.
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
Yes! It's almost impossible to book him,
- but I pulled some strings. - Yes!
May Bevo bring you as many blessings as he brought us.
- Mm. - Speaking of blessings, part of your budget will have
to be allocated to cleaning up after him,
because, believe me, it's more than you could possibly imagine.
But worth it! Hook 'em horns!
- Hook 'em horns! - Say it with us, Jorge.
[all] Hook 'em horns!
[whispers] Hook 'em horns.
- [laughter] - It's too much.
- I can't! - Yeah.
- It's physically hurting him. - Oh, it definitely is.
Uh, that's the face he makes when I wear salmon.
Uh... what is going on?
We're just messing with you.
We're proud Texans, but we're not that tacky.
[Ben] We're just jokesters.
Who would have a bull at their wedding?
Welcome to the family, Jorgito.
- Oh, thanks! - [laughter]
- Yes. Bye. - We'll see you guys.
What just happened?
That is how my parents express affection.
- Oh. - Yeah, they only mess with people they love.
If anyone in my family is ever too sweet to you,
that's when you should worry.
Really? They love me?
Oh. So no more Texas stuff?
- Oh, no. - Oh, my God!
This is such a relief. This is the perfect night!
Oh, wait, wait, wait! It's time for me to ask my groomsmen.
I'm so excited to show you this magic trick
- I've been working on. - Okay, ha, ha, Henry.
The joke's over. No more pranks. [chuckles]
No, I'm serious. It's going to be awesome!
No, a... a magic trick?
In front of all of these people?
At my engagement party?
Uh, our engagement party.
Henry, you cannot do it.
It's cornier than the hats.
You know I love magic, and I'm sorry you don't like it,
but I have a right to bring some of my ideas to the table.
Not if they're embarrassing.
Oh, so... I'm embarrassing?
That's not what I meant.
- I... - You know that's not what I meant.
Fuck.
- [laughing] I mean... - I get it.
Gladys Delgado.
Enchantée. Kiss it.
Oh.
That's right. I'm Lily's very young aunt,
so if things don't work out with her,
I could arrange to be single.
Dinesh Mondal. And I know who you are.
Jorge talked about you often.
Oh, did he?
Did he mention I'm double-jointed?
- Tía. - I am.
It didn't come up.
It didn't? That's so weird.
- Well, the legs-- they, flippy-floppy. - Ah.
All over the place, whatever you want.
Anyway, be a lamb and get Lily and I some fresh cocktails
so that we can talk about you.
- Absolutely. - Thank you.
[Lily laughs softly]
Ooh! That man,
that suit-- this floor just became a Slip 'N Slide.
Ay, tía, que suerte. Esperate, no te caigas!
Oye, oye, pere... 'perate, esperate.
[both laughing]
Please tell me you're going to get in on that.
[sighs] Oh, we'll see. I mean, he's super cute,
and the cherry on top of my good-night sundae.
- Mm-hmm. - But I'm also trying to hustle right now.
I am doubling down on private clients,
so tell all your friends I'm available.
I need the money to get my life back on track.
Who says you're not on track?
Tía, I'm almost 30 and living with my parents.
What part of my life is on track?
Oh, baby, no, no, no. I'm going to tell you a little secret.
The track does not exist.
Oh, it does exist!
No, I need to grow my business, move out of my parents' house,
fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids,
become Beyoncé's personal makeup artist
and live happily ever after.
That is a fake schedule
that society has been hammering into your head
since the minute you were born.
Who says you have to do it in that order?
You don't need a husband to buy a house.
Hello?! You don't need to wait
to meet the love of your life to love your life.
Your happily-ever-after can start right now.
Uh, hi there.
Uh, can I have everyone's attention, please?
Oh, what's happening?
Just the most mortifying part of the evening.
- Jorgito... - No, wait. Wait for it.
Well, hi, everyone.
Wow. Uh, it really is incredible to look out into this room
and see so many people that Jorge and I know and love.
Which makes me think of this, uh,
Texas wedding tradition that I've always admired,
uh, to formally ask your best friends
to be a part of your wedding party.
So now, I would like to do that
with the magic of...
magic.
[laughter]
[applause]
Why is everyone clapping?
He hasn't even done anything yet.
You need to relax.
So, as you can see, I'm wearing a beautiful dress shirt.
Now, I'm about to turn around, and when I do,
my choice for best man number one will be revealed.
- Oh. - [gasps] - [laughter]
[applause, cheering, whooping]
How did he do that?
I don't know.
James, will you be my best man?
Of course I'll be your best man! I love you, bro. [laughing]
- Oh. - [indistinct chatter, applause]
- Yeah! - [whooping]
[Henry] Okay, and now,
for best man number two,
which, if I may add, is no less important
than best man number one, and that is...
- [gasping] - What?! - Wow. [laughs]
That's me! I'm Javier!
[laughter]
- Hey. - [Jorge laughs]
I love you guys.
- Aw. - Wow.
Yay!
Okay, I'll be right back. I just got to get out of these clothes.
Yeah, well...
So, what I'm learning here is that I'm an asshole.
- Oh, yes. - That's correct. - Mm. Well,
I know it's not fancy, but this asshole would
love for you three to be his wedding party.
- Of course. - Obviously. - Duh.
- Yay! I love you. - Yay!
- Oh, bud. - Mmm!
And, if you'll excuse me, I have some apologizing to do.
Did he just say he was going to go apologize?
- He did. - Our baby boy is all grown up.
- We did it, fam! - Yeah.
[all laughing]
♪ I just wanna go ♪
♪ Up, up, up, up, and away...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I...
I was totally wrong about the magic trick.
- Thanks for that. - No, and
I wouldn't have been such an easy target for your parents
if I wasn't so obsessed with everything being just so.
You know, and just like... Henry, please, no.
Growing up, I felt like being perfect could protect me.
That no one could dismiss me or reject me if every detail
of my outfit or party or whatever was flawless, you know?
And I know now...
I know now that I need to let that go.
You don't have to do that anymore.
I love you, faults and all.
What faults?
[laughs]
And you know, honestly, the hat is chic as fuck. I love it.
How much?
[scoffs]
Yee-haw.
- You really are my dream man. - [laughs]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, here's to a lovely day.
- Oh. - Hi.
- Hey, Sol! - Hi.
Today was such a fun day, abuela.
Yes, it was.
Your abuelo knows how to take care of me.
- Hmm. - And you are taking notes, right?
Yeah, of course I am.
- Mm. - Um...
So, Miles told me something that happened today that...
that worried him.
Uh... Marta,
uh, Luis got confused.
Did he think you were someone else?
Uh... yes.
So you know?
Of course I do.
I spend every minute of the day with that man.
Why didn't you say anything?
I mean, we need to get him tested
and figure out what's going on.
You shouldn't be shouldering this
all by yourself. It's a lot.
I know exactly what's going on.
The doctors told me it was... the early stages of dementia.
Abuela, I'm so sorry.
Is there anything I can do?
Well, he doesn't get confused too often,
and when he forgets, well, I remember for him.
He's my boyfriend,
and it's a blessing to get to grow old together.
Come on, Marta. [laughs]
I've been waiting to dance with you all day.
Sí, mi amor.
Thank you, Sol.
It's nice to know you're going to be there
for me if I need you.
♪ Like the sea...
And there, and there.
- Baby, I love you. - [laughs]
♪ Whoa, it's spinning me ♪
♪ It grows more and more like the tide...
You okay?
Um...
I know it wasn't an easy thing
for you to tell me what's going on.
So, thank you.
De nada, mi amor.
[laughs]
It's growing on me.
I know.
Come on. [clears throat]
♪ Like a warm, rippling wave that comes ashore ♪
♪ Our love will last forevermore ♪
♪ How can we deny this blessing ♪
♪ This glorious thing called love? ♪
♪ Oh, for you, for you and me ♪
♪ It's gonna be eternity ♪
♪ Spent in heaven up above ♪
- ♪ Our love, our love ♪ - ♪ Our love ♪
- ♪ Yes, it's like a sea ♪ - ♪ Our love ♪
- ♪ It's so deep, oh, it's so deep ♪ - ♪ Our love ♪
♪ And you know, it's endlessly, it grows...
May I?
But of course.
♪ Like the tide that comes to shore ♪
♪ Filled with bliss and tenderness...
Love the new haircut, by the way.
- Oh, really? - Yeah. Very handsome.
- Thanks. I think so, too. - Hey!
[both laughing]
Look at how sweet they are.
♪ Like the sea...
Where is Ana?
I didn't invite her.
I messed up, okay? I'm a crap boyfriend.
- Whoa. - Sorry.
I've just been getting a lot of, uh, unsolicited feedback.
- Ah. - [laughs]
Well, that's because you're part of the family now.
Yeah, I used to love that until tonight.
[laughs]
So why didn't you invite her? I mean, she knew about it.
She even gave me a present to drop off.
I mean, I could've invited her then, but I don't know.
Maybe I didn't want to?
Why?
I guess I was worried that by bringing her,
I would send a message I wasn't ready to send.
And now?
Now, I think I'm a coward.
Well, to be fair, you don't have a lot of boyfriend experience.
- Yeah. - But you got a lot of potential.
You think so?
- I do. - [chuckles]
So now what?
You go apologize.
Yup, we love it when you guys apologize.
[both laugh]
Thanks for the advice, Lil.
You always push me to be a better person.
Well, your transformation has been pretty inspiring.
Maybe I can also
build a business and buy a place of my own.
What am I waiting for?
I thought that was future me,
- but what if it can be now me? - Ah.
Oh. Are we becoming the best people on the planet?
I think we're getting there.
[laughs]
[music continues faintly]
Thanks for the dance.
- Hey. - Hey.
So, I'm taking off.
Can I get your number?
- Yes. [laughs] - Yeah? Cool.
Maybe we can go out one night next week.
Okay, I'm going to be honest with you.
I think you're ridiculously hot.
- Please keep being honest. - But...
- No "but." No... - But I'm off
a pretty fresh breakup, and I think I need
to focus on life stuff for a minute.
Like, and this is the good part for you,
- Hmm. - home ownership.
Know anyone super foxy
who could help a girl on a tight budget?
That would be me.
Great.
- Text me. - I will.
[Lily laughs softly]
All right, hey, look,
I'm-I'm going to hang up for real this time, okay?
Yeah. And now, I'll see you on Wednesday.
All right, bye.
♪ ♪
Oh, I forgot to check an email.
No! No, no, no.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put my foot down.
It'll just take a second, I promise, mi amor.
- Just relax. - [sighs]
Living with a workaholic is not relaxing.
Oh.
Would you look at this?
What's this?
[sighs]
Um... I'm confused.
Is this...?
[giggles]
Surprise!
- What?! - [laughs]
It's the itinerary for our trip around the world, babe.
But what about the restaurant, and-and all the phone calls
- and the check-ins? - Oh, babe,
this trip was a beast to put together.
Plus, I had to make sure
everything with Casa was all buttoned up.
But you know what?
I have been promising you this trip for over 30 years.
I needed to make sure it was perfect.
[gasps] We're going to Bora-Bora?
- Oh! - [laughs]
I always wanted to stay in one of those huts over the ocean.
And you shall, my love, right there.
- See? - Oh!
I told you I was handling it.
- Oh. - [laughing]
You really were!
- Oh. - Mmm.
[Beatriz laughs]
[Jorge Sr. laughs]
- It's going to be amazing. - Oh, my God!
- Yeah? Yeah. - [gasps]
We leave in a week?!
♪ ♪
[phone chimes, vibrates]
[laughs]
[♪ Bertha Tillman & The Killers: "I Wish"]
♪ I wish I may ♪
♪ I wish I might ♪
♪ I ♪
- [buzzing] - [exhales]
♪ Wish I may...
Mmm. I bought this place.
I live here!
♪ I make you mine ♪
♪ I wish that you ♪
- [sighs, laughs] - ♪ Would fall in love ♪
- ♪ With me ♪ - ♪ Star light ♪
♪ Star bright ♪
♪ I'd wish for one ♪
♪ Moment of bliss ♪
- ♪ To hold you near ♪ - ♪ I wish ♪
♪ To share your kiss ♪
♪ I'd wish that you ♪
♪ Would fall in love ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Star light, star bright ♪
♪ I wish I'd found you tonight ♪
♪ Make my dreams come true ♪
♪ Grant me this favor ♪
♪ Make him love me ♪
♪ And I'll be faithful to you ♪
♪ Oh, I wish I may ♪
♪ I wish I might ♪
- ♪ Happily ♪ - ♪ I wish ♪
♪ I'll be tonight ♪
♪ Feel so divine ♪
♪ I wish they were mine ♪
♪ Star light ♪
♪ Star bright ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I wish ♪
♪ Star light ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Star bright ♪♪
[kids] GloNation! Yay!