- [device vibrating] - [Lily] Oh, my God, that feels so good.
Oh, that's so good.
Deeper, baby. Go deeper.
[Nick] I don't want to hurt you. I don't think you can handle it.
[Lily] Oh, I can handle it. Oh, I need it now.
Oh, yeah. Oh! Yeah, that's the spot, that's the spot.
That's the spot right there, right there, right there.
Oh, yes, yes.
Every Thanksgiving, without fail,
I hurt my back volunteering.
This time, it was a box of canned yams that got me.
I told you, the correct way to lift a box
is with your legs, Diaz, not your back.
Thankfully, this year wasn't so bad
because my sweet boyfriend did most of the heavy lifting.
- [vibrating stops] - Whoa.
Call me boyfriend again.
- Okay, boyfriend. - [chuckles]
- [phone chimes] - [Nick groans] - Aw, really?
Hey, if that's Jorge,
you tell him for the final time I'm not donating my Tevas.
They're coming back into fashion,
- and I'm gonna be ahead of the trend. - [laughs]
Oh, it's-it's Santiago texting me Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, that's nice.
Are you sure you're okay?
With Santi and I being friends?
- Well, I trust my girlfriend. - Yeah.
- Call me girlfriend again. - Okay, girlfriend.
And the fact that you tell me about it every time
makes me trust you even more.
- You do tell me every time, though, right? - Of course.
He left me one voice mail, and we text every now and then.
Okay, then I'm only three percent bothered by it.
Oh, wow, that's 97% cool of you.
- Mm, math. Sexy. - Mm.
23 x 3.
- [laughs] - [chuckles, moans]
♪ ♪
[Henry] And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.
- Oh! - [gasps] Wow.
Hey, Beatriz, Jorge!
- Hey! - Happy Thanksgiving! - Happy Thanksgiving.
- You're right on time. - Well, put us to work, jefe.
Oh, and don't hold back, because I need to regain my muscle mass
from all the months of lounging on the beach.
- Oh. - Right, rub it in, okay.
[laughs] It's actually my handsome vice jefe
that is in charge of handing out the jobs today,
and I trust him completely
to assign your skills where they are best suited.
[whispers] You'll be in the kitchen.
I was gonna say kitchen.
Let me do my job.
Vice jefe isn't just a ceremonial title, Jorge.
- Okay. This way. Come on. - Okay.
[Henry] I love you.
Hola, beautiful.
- Laz! Hey, stud. - [laughs]
So are those gently used clothes in your bag,
or are you just happy to see me?
- Both. [laughs] - Okay.
What are you and Santiago up to for the holiday?
Oh, we're ordering some pizza from Burnside.
Bur... That's not even a good pizza place.
Ah, a little pineapple and pepperoni, it's okay.
Wait, really?
Thanksgiving's been, uh, sort of cancelled
ever since my wife passed.
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
Two beautiful men, sad and alone
on Thanksgiving, eating shitty pizza...
Not on my watch.
I think I'm gonna have to insist that you come
to the Diaz house for a proper Thanksgiving dinner.
- Look, that's very generous... - No, it's not generous.
It is selfish. I need some eye candy. Help me.
Yeah. Exactly.
- [laughs] - Come on.
Santi and Lily are friends now, right?
- It's all good. - I'll tell you what,
we'll think about it.
Fair enough?
You, thinking about me?
I don't hate it.
What's this?
Ah, shit, you weren't supposed to see that.
Is this for me?
Yes, but it's for later.
I'm sorry, but once you discover a gift,
you got to open it, them's the rules.
[gasps]
My first official lab coat.
Thank you.
Dr. Sol Perez.
Who's laughing now, tía Carmela? MD, baby!
[laughs] That's right.
Why are we mad at tía Carmela?
[groans] She's the one that's always so concerned about
my life amounting to nothing because I'm different.
So, tonight, I'm gonna rub this in her face.
Well, screw her.
Isn't she some life coach with no clients?
Whoa.
You can't talk about my family like that.
You just said you don't like her.
Yeah, I can talk crap. You can't.
I'm sorry.
I was really only trying to be supportive.
I know. It's okay.
But don't do it again.
- [sighs] - What's up, Diaz?
Mm, no, I'm just browsing houses and looking at prices.
How much do you think I could sell my hair for?
120 K? 'Cause that's just the down payment.
Whoa, okay, okay, stop spiraling.
Look at this dream house.
- Three bedrooms. - [Nick] Ooh.
- Hello, claw-foot tub. - Ooh.
Ooh, what's up, beautiful kitchen?
But the problem is,
I'm never gonna be able to afford it.
I ran the numbers. It's bad.
Well, I can definitely see you in that tub.
- Don't make it worse. - [laughs]
Okay, well, how about I make it better?
- Why don't I help you buy it? - What?
Yeah, you know, I could help you pay for it.
Give you money for the down payment.
Help you with the monthlies. No sweat.
I'm sorry, we're talking about a house here.
- Not a steak dinner. - I know, I know,
and I've been thinking about this a lot.
And I know we're pretty early on, but...
this is pretty great right now, isn't it?
Yeah. It is.
Okay, so, in success, we will be living in that house together.
Let me help you out. Come on.
I have lots of money. I-I have stocks and bonds.
And a trust and gold in a vault in Switzerland.
This T-shirt cost me $200.
[laughs]
That's so generous,
but I don't think I'm comfortable with that.
Okay, fair enough.
But the offer is still good, if you change your mind.
Thank you. That's so sweet.
Big day. Lots of choices.
- Mm-hmm. - Now we can go with cheese.
For sure. Right?
But I'm thinking, I get a meat lover's for me,
get a veggie pizza for you,
then I get a Hawaiian pizza for the table.
That sounds like something we should be thankful for, right?
- Question. - Mm-hmm?
How would you feel about
a real Thanksgiving dinner tonight, instead of pizza?
Uh, dubious, why?
[clears throat] Okay.
You're not gonna like this at first,
and when I tell you the whole plan,
you're gonna like it even less,
but hear me out.
All right.
I saw Gladys today. Mmm.
And we've been invited to the Diaz's house
for Thanksgiving dinner. I think we should go.
- [sucks teeth] Okay. - 'Cause...
Oh. Oh.
I didn't expect that to be your response.
Whew. [laughs] Okay.
I mean, I got a whole bunch of arguments worked out.
I mean, you want to hear them?
No. [laughs]
Lily and I have been texting a little bit, you know,
but, uh, we haven't really talked since her birthday.
- Might be nice to catch up. - Really?
Yeah, really. As friends.
Oh. [laughs]
- Okay. - We can't we be friends?
Okay, buddy. Okay. Friends, huh?
Is everyone seeing what I'm seeing right now?
Oh, was it a raccoon?
Because I saw on the Nextdoor app
there's a raccoon going around tipping over
people's turkey fryers with his freaky little human hands.
- [laughs] - No, Nick. Not a raccoon.
Us. The four of us.
Walking to Thanksgiving together,
as couples, together. Hello!
We're basically like a quad couple now.
- Aw. - That's kind of cute, babe. - Yeah. Thanks.
Hey, your family finally gets to be right about me
being the boyfriend, except this time,
I'm Lily's for-real boyfriend
- and not your fake, secret one. - That's right.
I have to admit,
I did have my concerns about you two.
You had your concerns? You were 100% freaked out.
- I freaked out. I freaked out. - [laughter]
But it's my rakish best friend and my starry-eyed sister.
Ooh, rakish? Well, hey, listen,
you did have cause to be concerned.
[laughs] Well, the last few months have
been incredible, and this isn't even the best part.
This is only the beginning. I mean, think about it.
Vacations in Baja,
raising our incredibly good-looking children together.
[gasps] Wait, Lil, are we gonna be neighbors?
I think we should be neighbors.
Oh, my God, we'll be together forever, then.
This is, like, the best day ever.
I swear, like, it's like what we've been dreaming about
- our whole lives. I love you. - Oh, come on.
Oh, my God, I love you guys. This is so cute.
[quiet chatter]
- Hey, ¡primos! - Hey!
- Wait, don't wrinkle me. - [grunting]
- Ah. - Ah!
- Oh, watch the spine, watch the spine, watch the spine. - Sorry.
I got to make up for all the months I don't see you guys.
Ah, I know, we miss you, too.
Bring it in, Chuey. Do what you got to do.
¡Órale! [grunts]
- [laughter] - I know. I know.
How is L.A.? How is the food truck going?
Oh, so good.
I got into a bit of a turf war with a taco truck in K-Town,
but I made an offer they couldn't refuse.
What was the offer?
To alternate days, there's plenty of room for everybody.
- Oh, okay. - Except that raw garlic juice truck.
- [groans] Fuck them. - [laughs]
Hey, Henry, you got a sec?
Oh, uh, of course, Miles, what's up?
I need a little advice,
since everyone in the family loves you.
'Tis true. How can I help?
I know how important family is to Sol,
and I want to do this right.
I kind of put my foot in it earlier, and I was thinking,
if there are rules, you would know them.
I got you, Doc.
I created a Diaz family wiki.
Okay, so, first rule is, you don't talk shit about family.
You're not actually family.
Yeah, learned that one the hard way this morning.
Rookie move. You should've come to me sooner.
When someone offers you seconds, always say yes.
Never comment on Alberto's tattoo.
His father's not over it.
Do not eat the mole if tía Anita made it.
You know what? There's a lot.
I-I'm just gonna AirDrop these.
- There you go. - Okay.
[clears throat]
Wow, it's still downloading.
[exhales sharply]
Oh. Oh.
[softly] Oh, come on.
Lil, you really need to upgrade your phone. It's always dying.
Going through Zillow nonstop doesn't help the battery life.
Well, take a break from that and come get wine drunk with me,
'cause I heard tía Carmela's laugh and my shoulders...
[whispers] ...they're in my ears.
- Yes. Let's go. - [laughs]
Wait.
- Oh, can I have some more of this, please? - [Sol] Mm-hmm.
- [Lily] Feels really funny, I know. - [Sol laughs]
Hey, Sol, give me some of your...
[indistinct chatter]
- I say we toss it. What? - Gladys!
Not in, like, an obvious way. She doesn't have to know.
What's going on?
Your mami is too polite and insists on
putting tía Anita's shitty mole on the table.
Am I the only one that remembers what happened last year?
- No. - Too many people, not enough toilets.
- Ooh. - Honestly, I'm surprised
you didn't have to, like, burn the house down.
- [laughter] - Okay, look, I'll just,
I'll just put it right here with the lid on.
Okay. Wuss.
Uh, I haven't seen abuelo yet tonight.
Is everything okay?
Yes, uh, fine, fine.
Okay, well, he hasn't been sleeping well lately,
but that happens sometimes.
Makes the dementia worse?
Well, yes, a little bit,
but it's nothing we can't handle, familia.
Well, we'll keep an eye out.
He may mistake you for someone else,
but as long as that person is attractive,
- I'm good with it. - [laughter]
Happy gobble, gobble day!
Hi, ¡abuelito!
What are all my favorite people doing hiding out in here?
- Look at you. You look cute. - [singsongy] Abuelito...
- [overlapping chatter] - Let's go. Turn up the music.
Oh, the party's here!
[sighs]
I don't know why you keep putting that on,
when it's just gonna come right off.
You should just put it directly on me.
- Oh, I like that. - [chuckles]
[both] Mmm.
- Oh, wait, you missed a spot. - Mm.
[doorbell rings]
I should get the door.
Oh, they can let themselves in.
What if they're a vampire?
Wait, what if... We should talk this through.
Well, some of them have souls.
And some of them just want to...
- [growls, laughs] - [laughing]
- Oh, my God, you guys are disgusting. - Oh.
I love it.
[Lily laughing]
- Hey, somebody order a pizza? - Hi.
[Lily laughing] Nick!
Lily.
Santiago?
My sexy strays!
Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I invited them.
They had no place to go for Thanksgiving.
It was the Christian thing to do.
I'm like a saint, a hot saint.
- Thanks for having us. - Of course.
Oh, eyes where they should be. My tits are down here.
Yes, they are. [chuckles] I see that.
[laughter]
[clears throat]
[laughs nervously]
Who wants a drink? Or two?
I know I do.
- I'll bring this to the kitchen. - Yeah, okay.
Mm-mm.
- What? - Come on.
- Somebody's in trouble. - Yeah, I probably need a spanking.
Oh, well, let's get to that.
Lil.
The aged rum your dad likes should be in that cupboard.
A heads-up would have been nice.
- I texted you. - You did not.
I definitely did.
Sorry, my phone died. I didn't get it.
Why didn't you tell me about Nick?
Because we had a rule, your rule,
that we weren't gonna talk about the people we're dating.
Yeah, when it's some random guy, not when it's...
Not when it's Nick. That's different.
That's a... that's a real thing.
You should've given me a heads-up.
Well, excuse me for not knowing the nuances of your rules.
- Had I known, I wouldn't... - What?
- If you had known, what? - It doesn't matter anymore.
He seems like a good guy. I'm happy for you.
[whistles]
Finger of rum for you, triple shot for me.
Dang, kid.
I wouldn't have suggested we come
if I knew Lily was dating that dude.
Why didn't you say something?
I didn't know anything about it, papi.
I just now found out myself.
Wasn't expecting this.
What were you expecting?
I don't know.
Still processing it.
Yeah, well, your face is processing pretty loudly.
You want to leave?
No. No, no, no. Um...
That's too dramatic. I'll be fine.
Okay, then, fix your face.
All right? We're guests here tonight.
Whatever it is you're feeling, revisit it later.
- ¿Comprende? - [takes deep breath]
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheers.
To the sexy strays.
Mm.
[both groan]
[laughter]
- Oh. - Hey, baby.
- Madam. - Oh.
- Hey, thank you. - [chuckles]
Oh.
I think they had me right here.
Hmm.
You know, I-I can go sit with my dad, actually.
[quiet chatter]
No, no, i-it's fine. Sit here. Yeah.
- Yeah. - [Santiago] Yeah.
Looks like he's pretty happy over there anyway.
- I couldn't agree more. - [laughing]
- So, let's just make sure... - Oh, yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
[quietly] Sit down.
- All right, shall we? Yeah. - Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
[Lily and Santiago clear throats]
- Hey, uh, fun fact. - [inhales]
Did you know that potatoes were
the first vegetable grown in space?
- What? - I did not know that.
- Yeah. - Really? - Well, technically,
a potato, uh, is not a vegetable.
It's a starch, but it's pretty, pretty cool, man.
It is cool, yeah.
Well, nutritionally, they're a starch,
and botanically, they're vegetable.
- So... Mm-hmm. - So you're both right.
- That's nice. - Hmm. - [Sol chuckles]
Um, I-I saw an ad for your gym, man. Congrats.
Oh. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah, you should stop by.
Not that you need to. You look like you're in great shape.
But who knows if your heart is healthy?
Yeah. My heart is good.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Happy to hear it.
I love you two together.
Michael was nice but a white guy.
I'm so glad she is with a Latino now.
Ven, mi amor.
- You're sitting with me. Come on, honey. - Okay.
[whispers] I'm so sorry.
[whispers] It's fine.
I'm so, so sorry.
He rearranged the place cards.
- Mm. - He's a little confused today.
Uh, okay, everybody.
We're going to start with a prayer,
and then we'll do the traditional go around the table
and say what we're thankful for.
But, please, try to keep it to just one thing.
We're all pretty hungry.
Tía Carmela.
[laughter]
Hey, so, you know, just out of curiosity,
if I were to hand-embroider "Dr. Sol Perez"
on, say, I don't know, a lilac silk robe
- for you to wear around the house, would you? - Hmm.
Definitely.
[whispers] With nothing underneath.
Oh. [chuckles] Okay, yep.
I need to learn how to hand embroider inmediatamente.
- [scoffs] - Oh, it's not a top.
It's a dress. How interesting.
Sol, I just wanted to say, I am so proud of you.
- Oh, wow, thank you. That means so much. - [chuckles]
- You did it. You did it. - I did it.
You landed a doctor.
Tía, I am a doctor.
Miles, you're a plastic surgeon, yes?
- Mm-hmm. - Ugh, how amazing.
I mean, not that I need any help.
But, um, there are others here
that should probably talk to you.
- Wow, okay. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Well, you know what, uh, Sol is actually
the one doing truly profound work in oncology.
Ah, mira, so sweet, this man.
See, Sol? I'm so happy not to have to worry any longer.
Now I know you'll be taken care of.
[Sol sighs]
Okay, I know she's your tía,
but that was a master class in being nasty while sounding nice.
- Hurt people hurt people, Miles. - But she...
- Mm. - ...seems lovely.
And I'm sure her heart is...
in the right place?
There we go.
- So, your abuelo... - Yeah.
The dementia comes and goes, but we're making sure
that he feels comfortable and safe and not scared.
Unfortunate how it turned out for Lily, though.
Oh, yeah, I saw. That was pretty awful.
Yeah. But you know what?
I'm not worried about Nick and Lily.
I mean, they're totally solid.
What I am worried about is our wedding vows.
Because our wedding is in two weeks,
and right now what I have is
like three and a half pages long.
Me, too.
Um, four, if you include lyrics.
- Aw. - Oh, my gosh.
Are you guys talking about your wedding vows? Aw.
Your father and I never got a chance to write our own vows.
- Why not? - We had a Catholic wedding.
We had to stick to the script.
Well, the straights can't have everything.
- [laughter] - Well, looking back, I kind of wish
I did get to write my own vows for your mother.
I would have had a lot to say.
- Really? Like what? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, you know I don't like being put on the spot, Bea.
I'm a chef. I like to let things marinate.
[laughs, gasps] No.
What? What's wrong?
- Tía Anita's. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, no. - [Jorge] Put it down.
- Why is it on the table, Mom? - [Beatriz] Shh, walk away.
- [quiet chatter] - [laughter]
Lily, how's your house hunt going?
Oh, uh, good news is, I found the house of my dreams.
Bad news is, I'm never gonna be able to afford it.
- Mm. - [Lily] So...
Well, no one's first house is their dream house.
When I bought my place it was a dump.
I got the crappiest place on a decent street.
Then I spent the next couple of years
and a lot of hard work making it what I wanted it to be.
You should be looking at fixer-uppers.
Oh, I don't know the first thing about remodeling houses.
It's not that daunting. I've been there before.
I still have my contacts, you know, if you need it.
You know, I never really thought about it.
Yeah, I'd love to help you.
I'm definitely gonna hit you up.
- [Santiago] Okay. - [Lily] Thank you.
Wow. I can actually do this.
[Santiago] You can.
[Lily and Santiago laugh]
[laughter]
So, then I said, "Suture self."
[laughter]
You are so funny, Miles. He's so funny.
Sometimes.
Anyway, now that Sol's a doctor,
our work schedules rarely overlap anymore.
I do miss our muffin dates.
- What if you were his assistant? - [chuckles]
Tía, I'm an oncologist.
Yes, yes, for now, but eventually
you'll be taking care of the children.
Sol, I know you had a really hard time dating.
Hopefully, this one will stick.
And to think, so many people were worried
you'd be a disappointment.
Okay, you need to stop.
I don't know who hurt you,
but y-you're done hurting the person I love.
And, frankly, if this is how you "life coach your clients,"
they'd be better off with a pet rock.
[snickers]
[huffs]
- What was that? - What? I couldn't let her talk to you like that.
Miles, I told you to stay out of my family stuff.
You don't know what you've done.
[Carmela] What kind of Thanksgiving is this,
when this stranger is just saying shit?
Who's ready for game night?
Vamos, vamos.
[excited chatter]
Welcome, family, friends, lovers and strays
to the annual Thanksgiving Game Night.
[cheering]
- I see you. - ¡Ya, ya! - [cheering stops]
This is good. All right, fam, you know the drill. Newbs.
Oh, yeah, this is no joke.
We take it real serious.
This is single-player elimination
tournament style game play.
That means winner moves on, loser goes home.
- Oh. - Weeping in many cases. - Bye-bye.
Chuey, I'm looking at you.
- Remember last year? - [others groaning]
[imitates crying]
- [overlapping chatter] - [laughter]
Okay! So, this year, the games are, drumroll please...
Running Charades, Celebrity Marshmallow,
and Face the Cookie.
- Cookie, yes! Yes! - [cheering]
All right, so everyone hydrate,
and I'm gonna put you onto teams.
[lively chatter]
- What? No. - Yeah.
You're-you're not gonna take this one.
- We've been practicing. Okay. - Wait, hold on.
[quiet chatter]
[Jorge] If we have one sip of alcohol, it's over.
You okay?
Uh, I'm a little, hmm...
"pissed" is the wrong word.
I am circling pissed. I'm bordering pissed.
I am driving and waving at pissed.
I... I'm hurt.
I'm hurt, yeah. I'm hurt, Lil.
Wait, because I'm talking to Santi?
Of course it's not because you're talking to Santi.
Look, I get it. I like the guy.
He's very nice. He's very smart.
And, you know, even I get lost in those eyes sometimes,
but that is not it.
- Then what is it? - [sighs]
I don't love that you accepted his help
and you didn't accept mine.
The house thing?
That's totally different.
He presented an option I hadn't thought about.
He's offering me guidance so I can do this on my own.
Look. [sighs]
I get that my resources are money,
and his are time and energy,
and that might seem a lot more noble, but...
Humor me. Okay?
My girlfriend just turned down my help
and enthusiastically accepted her ex-boyfriend's help,
in front of me and her entire family,
at our first Thanksgiving as a couple.
Shit.
I didn't realize that.
I was raised to accept the ride but not the cab fare.
- You know? - [chuckles]
I am so sorry for not being more sensitive to your generosity.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
All right.
Want to go kick some ass at games together?
Yes.
[both laugh]
Oh.
- Oh, look at that, we're on the same team. - Aw!
- Oh. Hmm. - Oh.
Oh, I am so sorry that Santiago's on your team.
I picked names out of a bowl, I swear.
The universe is using me as an instrument of its fuckery.
- It's fine. Yeah. - Yeah, absolutely.
Well, I could redo the teams.
- Great. - No, it'll just be weirder.
- We're all adults here. - Totally.
Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna redo the teams.
- [laughs] - [clears throat]
- Okay. - Hmm.
[Chuey] Uh, Juanes. No, Los Tigres del Norte!
- Electric. - Yeah.
- Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo! - Yeah. You go! Yes!
Yes, yes, yes! [cheering]
Sol, come on.
Why are you so mad at me? I was standing up for you.
Because I didn't ask you to do that.
- [sighs] - In fact, I distinctly recall
asking you to do the opposite.
Okay, look, I understand you're upset,
and I want to apologize, but...
[scoffing] But?
But I'm not sorry.
I-I don't regret what I said to tía Carmela.
Not one bit. Usually, I back down.
I-I try to let things go, but I am done letting her
treat you that way without any consequence.
[group] Movie! Six words!
And were you thinking about consequences
when you decided to stir the pot and drive her to tears?
Now she's gone full-blown drama queen.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?
¿Qué?
How are Carmelas's dramatics
a-and lack of boundaries your responsibility?
She needs to own her behavior.
Oh, uh, second word, sunshine.
- Uh, uh, You Are My Sunshine? - [imitates buzzer] That's four words,
and sunshine is the second word.
"You Are the Sunshine of My Life"?
- Tía Anita, that's not even a movie! - Ay.
Get your head in the game, ¡tía!
- [Anita] Ay, dale, dale, dale. - Look.
Maybe we all wish tía Carmela would change her ways,
but this is gonna domino-effect
until everyone in my family is suffering.
Ooh, dusting off, dusting off?
Well, maybe your family needs to learn
how to deal with that differently,
because it's not cool,
and I'm gonna stand up for the person I love.
Oh, you're bald. You're bald.
- You're bold. - Mind.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
- Yes! - [cheering]
[laughter]
Vamos a ganar, a ganar.
- Vamos a ganar. ¡Vamos! - [whooping]
- We got this. We got this. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's go.
- Uh, film. Film. - Movie.
- Uh, one word. - One word. We got this. - One word.
- [Nick] Yeah. Yeah. - [Jorge Sr.] Here we go.
- Here we go. Fargo? Jaws? - Easy.
- Annie. Annie. - Uh, ooh, Marry Poppins.
Dancing.
One word. One word. Dancing.
Uh, uh, uh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, Sex and the City.
[stammers] Paddington 2. Paddington 2.
[Jorge Sr.] Dude, dude, dude, one word.
You can just say Paddington.
- Is it Paddington? - Is it Paddington?
No, no, no! It's not Paddington.
Okay, fresh start, fresh start.
[imitates retching]
- Cinderella! Cinderella. - Yes, Santi!
- Go, Santi, yes, yes! - That was it?
- Yes! - What was that?
Oh, I was sick with food poisoning
when we watched Cinderella. I think we're gonna win!
- Yay! - [laughing]
- Awesome. - Yeah, go us.
Dude, what's with Sex and the City?
The shoes are a very important part of the story.
- Oh... - All right. - Okay.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- Film again. - Movie. - Movie. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. - [Lily] Okay, yeah.
[group] Three words.
- Yeah, I know. - [Lily] First word.
- [Nick] Girl. - Uh...
- West Side Story? - Yes!
- Yes, Santi! Yes! - Let's go!
- How? - I pointed west.
Yeah, but how did you even know where west is?
- It's west, man. - [Jorge Sr. laughs]
- We won! We won! - [Jorge Sr.] Yay, we won!
- [Santiago] Yeah! - We won! - Hmm.
- We won. - [laughs] We won.
[laughter]
- We won. - [whoops]
- Tequila. - Let's get tequila.
What are you, a mop?
'Cause you just wiped the floor in that charades game.
Well, I didn't, but apparently
Lily and Santiago are amazing together.
You okay, bud?
No.
Do you want to talk about it?
- Yeah. - Okay, come on.
What's up?
Ah, honestly, everything was cool.
It's just...
I'm starting to feel uncomfortable
with Santiago being here.
Yeah. It's a lot.
I mean, you should've seen
the two of them playing charades together, man.
It was just like... [clicks tongue]
Wh-What are you doing?
It's two peas in a pod, clearly.
Wow.
You really are bad at game night.
Look, I wouldn't read too much into the charades thing.
Lily would stop at nothing to win.
- Mm. - And, you know, it makes sense to get jealous
when an ex shows up, right?
But, rest assured, you and Lil are the real deal.
- You think so? - I know so.
- Come on. - Okay.
[Jorge] And we got to stop talking about this.
It's getting really old.
- [muffled grunting] - I'm going. Go.
[muffled chatter]
Oh, oh, uh, Ashton Kutcher.
- [muffled] - [Beatriz] Ooh, ooh, better. Oh, oh, oh!
- Michael Fassbender. Yes, yes, yes! - Oh yeah.
- Good one. - Yes, yes! Yes, yes! Yes, yes!
[laughter]
- [Henry speaks muffled] - [Lily] What?
Articulate!
- [overlapping chatter] - [laughter]
In the zone, tía. In the zone.
- Going down! - [overlapping shouting]
Be the cookie.
We practiced this. I'm never gonna forgive you.
- No! - Oh! - How could you?
- [chatter continues] - My money's on Miles.
A surgeon must have dexterity in their face, too, yeah?
I don't know. He's been a little sloppy today.
You mean, what he said to Carmela earlier?
I thought it was fantastic.
Look, I don't need any more drama in my life.
I had enough of that growing up.
I see them all over there whispering.
- [indistinct chatter] - [Beatriz] Oh, no, no, no, no.
They've moved on. They're talking about Chuey.
[whispers] He got his L.A. girlfriend pregnant.
- [gasps] - [chuckles]
Look, I get that we're protective of our own,
but sometimes tía Carmela needs to just shut her mouth.
- Mm. - What?
We can all be annoyed by her.
But if she needed us, we would be there in a second.
But none of that means that she gets to be shitty to you
and your partner, who loves you and has to sit there and watch.
I like that he stood up for you.
- You do? - Yeah.
And I know that your mom would, too.
[smacks lips] Look at him.
He's a keeper.
[chuckles softly]
- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, he is.
- [Chuey] Come on, Diaz. - [Gladys] There she goes, there she goes, there she goes.
- Ahí, ahí, ahí. - [shrieks]
[cheering]
In your faces.
[laughter]
- [overlapping shouting] - [groans]
- Come talk to me. - [laughter]
Listen, we shouldn't have come.
That's on me.
But I-I don't like to see you all tortured like this.
I'm fine, papi.
Come on, youngblood, you're lying.
I see the hurt in your eyes when you look at her.
That's how I looked at your mother when we first separated.
I know.
- Come on. - [patting on back]
Let's get out of here.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Cool, come on, let's grab our coats.
- Marshmallow games, right? - Hmm. [chuckles]
Okay, mi gente, shut your traps. The tally's in.
By a mere two points, the winner is...
- Chuey Diaz! - [cheering]
¡Órale!
- That's right, baby! - That's right. That's right.
- Give me my belt. - [cheering]
Who's the man? Who's the man?
[chatter, cheering]
- Hey. - Hi.
[sighs] I'm sorry.
You're sorry because I didn't listen?
You were right,
and I lashed out at you,
which you didn't deserve.
You were just trying to defend me,
and I appreciate it.
Well, I-I should've been way more sensitive
about your family dynamics.
Yes, but...
you reminded me that I'm allowed to hold my own
and stand up for myself,
which is way easier to do
with you by my side.
Wait, did we just have
a grossly mutual and understanding makeup sesh?
I believe we did.
Maybe we should follow it up
with a grossly mutual and understanding make-out sesh?
I mean, there's got to be at least one empty room in here.
[laughs]
[overlapping chatter]
Here's to another fantastic party.
- Yes. - Well done.
I'm worried about the dishes.
Oh, hey, I wanted to thank you for having us tonight.
Uh, we've got a job early in the morning,
so we're gonna be heading out.
Of course, we completely understand.
We're so happy that you came.
Please know that you're always welcome.
That's kind. Thanks again.
Oh, uh, the rack got full,
so I moved your coats into our bedroom.
I-I'll just go run up and get them.
Oh, no, no. Don't worry about it. I'll go grab it.
Okay, it's the first door on your left.
Cool. I'll be right back, papi.
All right, cool.
Oh, and, uh, give Gladys my love.
Thank her for me.
And tell her I'll give her a call.
- Uh... Okay, stop it. - Run. Just run, bro.
[Beatriz] She's fine.
Hey, Santi.
Hey.
You were gonna leave without saying goodbye?
I mean, things started off a little weird,
but I think we ended up having a good time.
We have this work thing tomorrow, so...
On the day after Thanksgiving?
What do you want, Lily?
What do I want? What do you want?
You're the one who came here.
Well, it was a mistake, which is why I'm leaving.
I just want to make sure we're cool.
We're cool.
If you came here to say something, say it.
What do you want me to say?
That I came here to get you back?
- Did you? - What's the point?
- You're with somebody else now. - I think I deserve to know.
And I think I deserved to know you were seeing Nick.
You told me not to tell you.
I mean, it was your idea
not to talk about the people we're dating.
Just let me leave.
It doesn't matter anymore.
What doesn't matter anymore?
You want to know? Fine.
I was wrong.
About us, about everything.
The more I've dated other women,
the more I've realized they aren't you.
I see you everywhere I go.
At the gas station, at the grocery store, I-I...
[sighs] I can't, I can't escape you.
But you know what, I'm finally willing to admit
that I don't want to.
- Santiago, I... - Look, I hated seeing you with him tonight.
[sighs] I hated every minute of it.
Because I love you, Lily.
I love you more than I hate marriage.
[softy] What?
So, yeah, I-I came here tonight because...
because I want to be with you.
Just say you want the same.
Wait, I...
I can't do this. I...
No, I shouldn't have...
- Jorge... - No.
I don't want to hear it, Lily.
Just came to get tía Anita's coat.
- Please let me explain... - No.
Okay? Either you tell Nick, or I will.
[sighs]
[thunder rumbling]
That was weird that Jorge and Henry
didn't want to walk back with us.
They were so big on the quad couple thing.
Yeah.
You're quiet.
Hey, I know game night is a big deal.
I'm sorry if I brought the score down.
You know, I can take an improv class.
Watch a bunch of Nora Ephron movies.
I need to tell you something.
Okay.
Santiago kissed me.
What? When?
Like ten minutes ago.
Are you for real right now?
I am so sorry.
I had no idea he was gonna be there tonight. I...
I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
It just kind of sort of did.
Well, h-how does it just kind of sort of happen?
As he was leaving, he admitted he still loved me.
Okay, you know what, fuck that guy.
- And he didn't mean to get between us. - Really?
Because it sounds like he kissed my girlfriend.
Yes, but...
I kissed him back.
Fuck.
- Lily. - Look.
I'm not proud of it, but...
but, in the moment, I got lost.
It was a huge mistake, and I am so sorry,
and I-I needed to tell you. I...
I-I don't even know how to respond to that right now.
Nick, I am so sorry. I...
You head on in.
I got to take a walk.
Alone.
Oh, no, did somebody finish tía Anita's mole?
Uh, no.
I accidentally threw it in a trash bag,
double-bagged it, and put it in our neighbor's bin.
[laughs]
It will not be traced back to us.
Oh, God, I love you so much.
[clears throat] In fact,
remember when we were talking with Jorgito earlier about vows?
- Mm. - Well, uh,
I got a little something for you.
[gasps] Oh, really?
- [clears throat] - Oh.
Beatriz Delgado,
the first time I ever saw you smile,
you took my breath away.
[sighs]
And you have every day since.
And every night, too, but that's mostly
because your elbow keeps finding its way into my sternum.
[laughs] Jorge.
- And I vow... - Mm-hmm.
...to always remember how you take your coffee,
with just a drop of soy milk.
To protect you from any spiders that dare enter our home.
[Beatriz laughs]
To never, ever take you for granted again.
And to love and cherish you today,
tomorrow, forever.
Jorge.
I know, right?
[both laugh]
Okay, um...
I did not get to plan ahead,
but, uh, let me take a swing at it.
Oh. [clears throat]
- Ándale. - Okay.
[clears throat]
Jorge Diaz.
The first time you ever said I love you,
you made me weak in the knees.
And it still does to this day.
And I-I can't believe how lucky I am
that I get to wake up to this hunk of a man
[laughs] every single morning.
Morning breath and all.
Oh, well, hey, the tongue scraper helps.
No, it really has.
Ooh, ooh.
I vow to always protect you
from tío Quique's latest pyramid scheme.
[laughs]
And to always save you the last piece of flan.
And to love and cherish you...
...today, tomorrow, forever.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Are you gonna kiss the bride or what?
♪ Whenever I'm alone with you ♪
Mmm.
- ♪ You make me feel... - [giggles softly]
Happy Thanksgiving, guapo.
No. Happy Turkey Day, mi corazón.
[both laugh]
Oh. [sighs]
♪ Whenever I'm alone with you ♪
[rain falling outside]
♪ You make me feel like I am fun again ♪
♪ However far away ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪
♪ However long I stay ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪
- ♪ Whatever words I say ♪ - [laughs]
Mmm.
♪ I will always love you ♪
♪ Yeah, I'll always love you ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪♪
Hey.
I'm sorry, I was just leaving.
No, don't.
I'm ready to talk.
[shaky breath] Okay.
I'm not gonna lie,
it really hurts knowing that
you definitely still have some feelings for Santiago.
- I didn't think I... - But that's the thing.
I understand how complicated this whole thing has been
and the history that you two have together.
I don't like it.
But I get it.
That's incredibly understanding of you.
And, uh, now I'm just gonna need the truth.
So I need you to be completely honest,
not just with me...
...but with yourself.
Who do you want to be with, Lily?
[shaky breath]
I want to be with you.
Why?
Because you're my best friend.
Because you make me feel
like the person I've always wanted to be.
And maybe we're not ready to move into a house together,
but I know you feel like home.
That's a good start. Keep saying words.
I've known you for forever.
You've consistently been there for me,
without hesitation.
You want what I want.
And more than that,
you don't make me feel bad for wanting it.
[sobs] I want you, Nick.
Even if that means not being friends with Santiago anymore?
'Cause now that's what I'm gonna need.
- Yes. - Okay.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. [chuckles]
Wait. Really? That's it?
Yeah, yeah.
[sighs] We're okay?
As far as I'm concerned, our future can start right now.
- I love you. - I love you.
[breathing heavily]
I love you. I love you.
I love you so much.
- Mmm. - Ah.
I love you.
[both sigh]
Want to watch Top Chef?
Sure.
- I'm gonna get some water. - Understandable.
[sighs] I'll get it set up.
[groans]
[sighs]
[Henry sighs]
What are you doing here?
I'll be in the bedroom.
So?
I told him.
And?
And we had a... we had a good talk.
Define "good talk."
He was very understanding.
He accepted my apology, and we're starting fresh.
Wow.
Well, he may have forgiven you, but I haven't.
Excuse me?
I knew this was gonna happen,
and I allowed myself to get excited,
but deep down I knew you were gonna screw over Nick.
Did-did you not hear me? We're staying together.
Right. For now.
'Cause you're just doing damage control. You're messy.
- But I just cleaned it up. - Oh, please.
God, you're still in love with your ex,
and you're using Nick as a placeholder,
until you figure it out.
That is so not fair.
You don't know the full story.
Then spare me.
Well, I'm sorry my first real boyfriend
didn't turn into my fiancé.
And I'm sorry I had to struggle with my career
because Dad didn't hand me the keys to the family business.
Everything just falls into your lap.
- [scoffs] - So you have no idea
how easy you have it, Jorgito.
It must be real nice to judge up there from that high horse.
[scoffs]
So the pretty, straight girl is gonna tell me
that my life is easy.
That's rich.
You're such a cliché, Lily.
Henry was my first real boyfriend,
because every other man that I was interested in
was either a homophobe or closeted or both.
So I have had to work twice as hard on this relationship
to make it work because, guess what,
relationships are work,
which you would know nothing about.
You're so wrapped up in your fairy tale
and your fantasy that you refuse to grow the fuck up.
And, guess what, Lil, it's not cute anymore.
You are not cute anymore.
Oh, says the precious baby boy who can do no wrong.
I've literally been the grown -up our entire life,
taking care of you!
I'd appreciate a little grace as a sister,
who was in the bathroom with you picking up the pieces
every time you had boy issues.
You know, it-it's good to know the kind of person
my brother is now that the bad shoe is on my foot.
This isn't some random boy, Lily.
Nick is my best friend!
Do you really not see how this is different?
I don't think that you fully grasped
how big of a deal this is.
Your mess, it doesn't just affect you.
It affects me, too!
And when you fuck this up, which you inevitably will,
we'll all be cleaning up the mess, forever.
So, Nick may trust you--
congratu-fucking-lations-- but I don't.
- Fuck you. - Yeah. Fuck you.
[door slams]
♪ ♪
[kids] GloNation! Yay!