[Opening Credit Music]
[sinister music]
Huh?
[struggles]
[gasps]
[Porn Actor Gangster] Finally awake,
Angel Dust?
Yeah, and what's it to ya?
[Porn Actor Gangster] I want you to tell me where your boss stashes his vault.
Hehehe! It's hilarious you think
I'd tell you anything.
Fine. I guess I'll just have to fuck the information outta ya.
Do your worst, daddy.
...Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!
[Angel] Ya know, this performance
won me a 'Sex-x-x-i' award!
It's, uh... very... honest?... Oh.
[Vaggie] Ew!
Okay! Enough of that. Angel, what the fuck?
What?! You said it was "Show n' Tell" day.
I'm showin ' you my best film,
and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch,
Tiffany Titfucker.
[Husk] Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene.
Alright dickhead,
what makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?
You really going to sit there and act like these scripts
ain't hot garbage?
[gasps] Fuck you.
This is classy art.
[Angel on TV] OH! FUUUCK!!
That's bullshit.
You get drunk and bitch about them all the time.
Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender.
I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.
That one.
That one is an insecure buffoon
whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep!
Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.
What?! No, I-- what? Pffff, no, no.
This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.
Aargh!
[Husk] And Niffty.
Hehhh...
You don't even wanna know what her deal is.
-[slurps] -[Angel laughs]
You weren't kidding!
Haha, wow!
Kitten's got claws !
[sexily] Meow!
And you!
Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit
and how fake you are.
Oh, Me? Fake?
Wow.
I had no idea.
Guess that's why I'm an actor.
Dumbass
And --
[phone vibrates] Hold that thought.
[Angel] Hello?
Uh, yeah I'm-I'm...
No, No, I just, I...
[nervously] No, I-I'm not...
But, uh... Yeah,
I'll be right there.
[Angel] Well, uh,
looks like Val needs me for an...
Uh-- emergency shoot.
Uh-uh, Sure.
You know what? Fuck you.
I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender thinks a' me.
So why don't you just crawl back
to whatever cave you came from, porn critic.
-[Husk growls] -[Charlie] Angel! You can't leave yet.
We haven't finished our exercises for the day.
I'm sure you'll manage without me.
There isn't much time left for the hotel to prove itself.
Dollface, it's my job.
I know you want to fix everything, but unless you can fix my boss,
there's nothing you can do.
[door slams]
Uuugh, why is this so haaaard?
What am I doing wrong?
[Vaggie] Well, I mean...
- you're the princess of Hell, -So?
So, you don't really use the power that comes with that,
which I love about you,
but maybe you can... I don't know,
command a little more... authority.
[Charlie] But that's so mean.
It's not mean, exactly.
it's... uh, aggressive kindness.
[Charlie] Okay...
I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss...
that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!
[Vaggie] Sure. Whatever gets you there, babe.
Ohhh! Daddy, I... uhhhh?...
Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?
Just improv it.
Do you think anyone watches for the dialogue?
Action!
[door slams open]
[raunchy music] Oh, no.
So many burglars...
[sexily] and only one me!
Whatever shall I do?
I guess I'll have to do all of you!
Ohh!
So what are you gonna do ta' me?
[Angel] Charlie?
- Uh, my name's Rocky. - No one gives a shit.
Oh, so this is where the magic happens.
Oh, wow, that is -- [gasps]
That is a lot.
What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?!
I am the Princess of Hell, Angel. And I go where I please.
[softly] I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. Now, where's your boss?
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. You are going nowhere near Val--
[Valentino] Angel!
What is the fucking hold up?
I'm coming.
[Valentino] Not off camera. You're not.
Please, please, just wait, wait until I'm done working
and we will talk about this, I promise. But first, you've gotta go.
[Valentino] Aaaah, Your Majesty.
Oh, shit.
Welcome to my humble sex dungeon.
What can I do for such a-- [licks and slurps]
Uh, no, thank you.
[Valentino] Mm! Lovely specimen!
You don't want a role, do you?
Because I could make you a star.
Make us both richer than, well,
your papito--
[Charlie] Fuck No!
Uh, I-I'm sorry.
I have come to aggressively, kindly
speak with you about Angel.
Later, of course.
I wouldn't want to stand in the way of your work.
Well then, make yourself comfortable, Your Majesty,
and enjoy the show.
Well, let's take this shit from the top.
[Porn Director laughs] Action!
[Angel] Oh, wow, mister robbers,
I sure hope you don't hurt me with those...big guns of yours.
[ Porn Actor Rocky] Don't move, you spicy little, uuh, cock sleeve or else I'll...
[Charlie whispering] ...We do trust exercises everyday in the morning...
[Valentino shouts] Cut! What the fuck is going on with this?
Ooh, I'm sorry. Were we too loud?
I was just telling him about the Hazbin Hotel.
Not at all, Princess.
It doesn't bother me one bit.
You know, this scene feels awfully violent.
If you want help with the script,
maybe I can pitch some scenarios that are more--
-[screams] -[electricity crackles]
Okay. Okay. Ah, ah okay, that's on fire. That-that, that's on fire.
[crew and actors scream] Oh shit...
[indistinguishable melee]
Oh, god. Okay. Uh, do you have any--
-[Charlie] Can I get a fire extinguisher? -[Valentino sighs]
I am so sorry. I ruined your movie. I ruined your movie.
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry!
[Charlie] Noooooo!
[Valentino growls]
[Angel] Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, my gosh. I am so, so, so, so sorry.
I-- I can clean this up, I-- I can--
[Valentino] Don't you worry your pretty blonde head about it.
We have people for that.
Angel,
can I see you in your dressing room for a moment?
[suspenseful music]
-[door slams] -[Angel] Val, I didn't know that--
-[slaps] -[Valentino grunts]
-[Angel smarts] Val, I--
You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight
your battles for you? -[Angel pants]
-Arrgh! Val, please... I'm sorry she-- -[Valentino growls]
You bring her here to protect you?
To fuck with me?
[Angel] Ow! Val, stop!
You think she can get you out of work?
No! No, that's not what I'm trying to do. No--
-[Valentino growls] -[Angel gasps]
[Valentino menacingly] You know she can't do anything.
I own you. Or have you forgotten that?
[whimpers] No.
When I say "come", you say?
[Angel] Yes, Valentino.
When I say "you are fucking 20 guys before lunch,"
-you say? -Yes, Valentino.
When I say "you better get that fucking
[shouts] cunt out of my studio."
[menacing music] You say?
-[Angel] I... -[Valentino aggressively] You say ?
Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything.
I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her.
[Valentino] I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you're giving me.
You're lucky you make me money.
Now, you're going to go get rid of her,
and then you are filming all night.
Get me?
Yes, Val.
Good.
-[Angel gasps] -[glass smashes]
[Valentino loudly] All right.
Get your asses back on set, and we are taking this from the top.
[angrily] What makes you think you can treat him like that?
Charlie! Just stop!
Angel, what are you talking ab--
Charlie, Leave!
[Charlie] But...
I didn't want you ta come here.
I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen.
You made things worse.
I just wanted to help you.
Well, you ain't!
You actually want to help me?
Get the fuck out of here!
Right now, and let me finish my work.
I... I didn't... [sobs]
mean to! I... I'm... I'm so sorry.
-[Charlie sobs] -[footsteps recede into the distance]
-[door slams] -[Valentino laughs]
Good boy.
And action. [dark brooding music]
♪ I'm not above a love to cash in ♪
♪ Another lover underneath those flashing lights ♪
♪ Another one of those ruthless nights ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I shoulda guessed that this would happen ♪
♪ I should have known it when I looked in your red hot eyes ♪
♪ Spewing all your red hot lies ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ What's the worst part of this hell ♪
♪ I can only blame myself ♪
♪ Cause I know you're poison ♪
♪ You're feedin' me poison ♪
♪ Addicted to this feelin' I can't help but swallow up ♪
♪ Your poison ♪
♪ I made my choice and ♪
♪ every night I'm living like there's no tomorrow ♪
♪ Ohhhh ♪
♪ Any way you want me baby ♪
♪ That's the way you got me I'll be ♪
♪ Yours ♪
♪ My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison ♪
♪ I got so good at being untrue ♪
♪ I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear ♪
♪ I disassociate, disappear ♪
♪ Yeah-yeah-yeah ♪
♪ So far beyond difficult ♪
♪ To resist another gulp ♪
♪ Yeah I know it's poison ♪
♪ You're feedin' me poison ♪
♪ I'm choking from the taste ♪
♪ And I can't help but swallow up ♪
♪ Your poison ♪
♪ I made my choice and ♪
♪ every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow ♪
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Any way you want me baby ♪
♪ That's the way you got me I'll be ♪
♪ yours ♪
♪ My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison ♪
♪ Poison ♪
♪ I'm drowning in poison ♪
♪ I'm fillin' up my glass ♪
♪ But it's always hollow ♪
♪ Full of poison ♪
♪ I'm sick of the poison ♪
♪ Wish I had something to live for tomorrow ♪
[song ends]
[groans]
Eugh,
I need a drink.
The hardest you can make.
[Husk] Hmm. You look like shit.
[bottle cork pops] [Angel takes a deep breath]
Pfft. Not possible.
Just a long shoot,
nothin' new. [liquor pours]
[gulps] [laid back music]
Eugh, I said a strong one.
Excuse me.
Didn't realize this was a "drinking to forget" kind of night.
Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender
who's seen it all.
Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink.
Look, if you got a problem,
you're not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle.
I should know, I've been looking there a long time.
Oh sure,
And where should I look? Hmm? [laid back piano music]
[sexily] In your bedroom, maybe?
Under the covers?
Maybe we can go and look together.
Don't even start.
Oh, c'mon, I bet I can make those wings flap!
[Husk] Stop! [glass smashes]
Fucking Christ!
You can cut the act already.
It's never going to work on me. So all you're doing
is makin' an ass out of yourself with this fake bullshit.
[shouts angrily] Call me fake one more time,
mother fucker!
I dare you!
[tense music]
Fake.
Fuckin' asshole
Arrgh! God!
Ya done?
[growls angrily] Ya know what?
You would be fucking lucky to get a chance to fuck me!
Ya know how much I'm worth?
Ya know how many people would kill to have Angel Dust come onto them?
Fuck you!
Have fun being a lonely piece of shit.
Woah-- the hell? Angel, where are you going?
[Angel] Out! [door slams]
Husk, what did you do?
Made him a drink.
Oh, no.
He looked really upset.
It's just Angel. He'll be fine.
I'm not so sure.
I really messed up at the studio today and he got...
Ugh, it was... it wasn't good, okay?
[melancholy music] Gee, sounds like
someone should go after him...
Someone named "Husk".
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Why don't you go if you're so worried?
Because I'm not the one who sent him storming out.
You caused it. You drag him back.
No! No...
Don't force him back.
Just make sure he's safe.
I pushed too hard earlier and...
I only made things worse.
Look, he'll come back when he's ready.
I just don't want anything to happen to him until then.
[Husk growls]
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go write 100
apology letters and a lesson plan for tomorrow about...
boundaries.
[sirens blare]
[snorts] Oh, yeah.
[Husk growls]
[Angel laughs] [Angel] I'm so fucked up!
Gimme a whiskey...
I meant the whole bottle, jackass.
[Angel] ... Haha, ya, ya, so I said
"You couldn't afford me in a million afterlives!"
I got better options, right boys?
[Gangsters laugh] You got that right!
[Husk snarls] [Angel] Hey, baby,
be a doll and bring me another one?
Daddy's outta juice!
[background bar music] [liquor pours]
[bottle top pops]
[Husk huffs]
Here you go, darling.
Just for you-- Woah!
[Husk] Nice try, fuckhead.
[gangster screams]
[up tempo music] [guns click]
-[Husk] Let's go. -[Angel] What the? Hey!
[Angel] H-h-hey, hey!
[Angel] Husk! What the actual fuck are you doing here?
Let go of me.
No, I'm takin' you back to the hotel.
[Angel] Get off!
That fucker put somethin' in yer drink.
You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink?
I do this all the fuckin' time.
You just let people drug you all the time?
You think I ask for it? I don't ask for any of this shit!
I didn't ask to be this way.
I didn't ask for Charlie to save me.
I didn't ask for you to save me.
I can handle myself.
Really? Because I just saw someone self-destructing.
It seems like-- I don't know.
Ya might need a bartender to talk to.
[Angel incredulously] Oh, so now you're going to act
like you give a shit about me?
You think after how you treated me, I'm gonna to open up to you? Please.
Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real,
and not some bullshit version of yourself.
Always pushin' my boundaries.
Lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are.
How famous, how hot.
[Husk] So you might as well just cut the act.
[Angel] It's not an act!
[sobbing] It's who I need to be.
And this...
This is my escape!
Where I can forget about it all!
How much I hate...
everything.
A place where I can get high,
and not have to think about how much it hurts.
And maybe...
if I can ruin myself enough in the process,
if I end up broken,
I won't be his favorite toy anymore.
And maybe he'll let me go.
[muted street noise]
[Husk sighs]
I was an Overlord once, you know.
Yeah,
and uh...
It was nice to have that power.
But when you're dealing in souls,
[atmosphere changes] while also being a gambler,
[sinister music] the stakes are pretty high.
And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous.
So when you're down on your luck,
you turn to anything to...keep you afloat,
[sinister music continues] even making deals yourself.
So I know what it's like to...
regret the choices made and...
knowin' ya can't take it back.
[sirens blare in the distance]
[soft ballad music]
♪ So things look bad and your back's against the wall ♪
♪ Your whole existence seems fucking hopeless ♪
♪ You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall ♪
♪ Can't face the world sober and dopeless ♪
♪ You've lost your way ♪
♪ Ya think your life is wrecked ♪
♪ Well, let me just say you're correct ♪
[Angel] Wait. What?
[upbeat pop music] ♪ You're a loser baby ♪
♪ A loser goddamn baby ♪
♪ You're a fucked up little whiny bitch ♪
-[Angel] Hey! -[Husk] ♪ You're a loser just like me ♪
[Angel] Thanks, asshole
[Husk] ♪ You're a screw's loose boozer ♪
♪ An only one-star-reviews-er ♪
♪ You're a power bottom at rock bottom ♪
♪ But you got company ♪
[Angel] This supposed to make me feel better?
♪ There was a time ♪
♪ I thought that no one could relate ♪
♪ To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged ♪
[glass smashes]
♪ But lettin' walls down ♪
♪ it can sometimes set you straight ♪
♪ We're all living in the same shit sandwich ♪
[Angel] ♪ I sold my soul ♪
♪ To a psychopathic freak ♪
♪ [Husk laughs] And you think that makes you unique ♪
♪ Get outta here man ♪
♪ We're both losers baby ♪
♪ We're losers it's okay to be a ♪
[Angel] ♪ Coked-up dick suckin' ho ♪
♪ Baby that's fine by me ♪
♪ I'm a loser honey ♪
♪ A schmoozer and a dummy ♪
♪ But at least I know I'm not alone ♪
[together] ♪ You're a loser just like me ♪
[Husk] ♪ I got an appetite for gambling ♪
[Angel] ♪ I got an appetite for samplin' ♪
♪ Every drug gang sex toy I can find ♪
[Husk] ♪ Go ahead, baby, sing that song, c'mon ♪
[Angel] ♪ I got no Holes left to deflower ♪
[Husk] ♪ I sold my soul to save my power ♪
♪ Now I'm on that demon's leash
♪ I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour ♪
[Angel] ♪ You're a loser baby ♪
[Husk] ♪ A loser but just maybe ♪
[both] ♪ If we eat shit together ♪
♪ Things will End up differently ♪
[Husk] ♪ It's time to Lose your self-loathing ♪
♪ Excuse yourself let hope in ♪
♪ Baby play Your card be who you are ♪
[both] ♪ A loser ♪
♪ Just... ♪
♪ Like-- ♪ [song end abruptly]
[Gangster] There he is!
They're fucking singing ?
Get em! [shots ring out]
[frantic music]
[Husk] Shit!
Stay down, I'll deal with this.
[Gangster] Haha! You're fuckin' dead.
[explosion]
[grunts]
[maniacal laughing] We got you now!
[Husk] You mother fuck--
[Angel] Eat lead, sucker! Hahahaha!
[machine gun continues firing]
I told ya,
I can handle myself, baby.
[laughs maniacally]
[explosion roars]
[Gangster] This did not go as planned.
Heh. Well,
that was somethin' I didn't expect to see.
Like I said, you don't know me.
Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at.
Good to know, cause this guy
ain't half bad.
[light music]
[Husk and Angel laugh together]
He had, like, three bills,
and it took him, like,
30 minutes to count it.
His eyes are so shit.
And this is the guy you got to take orders from?
I know.
What a fucking joke, right?
[Charlie] I'm so sorry, Angel.
I promise I won't ever,
ever, ever, ever-
[Angel] Charlie,
it's fine. I get it.
Thanks...
for carin' about me.
[Charlie sobs]
Ehhhhh... I think this is yours.
[Vaggie] Okay missy, let's get you to bed.
He-- he-- said-- he--for-forgave meee!
Oh, it's so beautiful Vaggie!
Hey, how about that drink.
You read my mind.
[light music]
[End Credit Music]