♪ ♪
[playful chattering]
Hey, where's my St. Cthonk's hat?
[Nerlo] Okay, kids,
who wants to hear the story of St. Cthonk?
[grunts]
"Cthonk was a person with no small reputation
for he's hailed as the genius who found teleportation."
Ah-ha-ha!
"He tested on Yagops,
broken, twisted, and dripping
as he perfected the science that brought us
very fast shipping."
[gasps]
[groans]
Huh?
"It was shocking to all
when Cthonk disappeared.
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
Did the GHU get him,
blink him out of existence?
Or did he take a vacation
at his Xargog's insistence?
All records were lost though no one knows why.
But from what we do know, he was a really great guy."
[exclaims]
"There are whispers he died,
and was buried, all rotty.
So we seek out the proof, and dig for his dead body.
May you choke on a bone, and find fate at your door.
But above all, as Cthonk did..."
[all exclaim]
"...may you always explore."
[crackling]
♪ ♪
[Klak] Even you have to admit
we're stuck.
What if we ask for help with Larvin Jr.?
If we tell them it's for medicine,
- the Florks might actually... - Report us!
Let's just do what we do when work gets stressful...
- more work. - Happy St. Cthonk's Day!
[both] "May you be ever curious!"
Oh! We give thanks to the first Yagops,
their misshapen bodies a necessary step
on the path to teleportation.
Thanks be to Yagop.
Mutilated for science. Much like my brain.
- [choking] - Klak!
[grunting]
[gasps] "Choke on the bone, serve at its pleasure,
glory you'll own, far beyond measure."
You know choking on the bone is just an old superstition, right?
- I know. [chuckles] - Do you?
Why do people teleport on this holiday?
- [groans] - It's so dangerous.
Well, teleporting isn't just for fun or for living beings.
It's for shipping me comfortable antigravity clogs
in three to five business seconds. Oh!
- [groans] - Oh, I did not see you there.
But I did beat the rush.
Nurse Tup,
you're our first Cthonk's Day teleportation patient.
Honored to be a waste of resources.
Vlam, let's get a molecular separative drip
- started immediately... - Dr. Sleech, step away from the patient, please.
- Dr. Vlam, take over. - What?
Why can't I treat Nurse Tup?
Because you're taking the day off
to process the space cruise accident.
I have to not work? On a holiday?
Do something fun for St. Cthonk's.
Ooh, maybe try teleporting.
[Sleech] Flim.
Can't say I'm surprised to see you here,
former-and-future lover.
But I'm with Plowp now, so...
I'm here to give Klak a Cthonk's Day present.
- The corpse of St. Cthonk. - [both gasp]
The GHU officially requests you perform the autopsy.
Someone finally found his body?
Why does she have her Spooky Eyes?
This blessed autopsy is because of the Yagop bone.
No. The GHU mandate is to hire a third party for transparency.
Are the conspiracy theories true?
Did the GHU kill Cthonk?
No. We don't kill people. We aggressively glove stun them.
Nonetheless, we need an autopsy because yes,
- people think we murdered him. - [chuckles]
No way Klak's going to do this without me.
Right? Klak?
"Disregard bone with a careless disdain,
you'll be alone, maybe hairless, in pain."
I have to do what the bone wants.
I guess I'll just spend the holiday completely alone.
With my boyfriend.
[groans softly]
♪ ♪
- [screams] - [gasps]
Oh!
[groaning]
You need to rest while this molecular separative fluid
runs its course.
I can cover your responsibilities.
Very cute, but no one can do what I do.
Oh.
I have an itch, but it's kind of inside you, so...
[groans]
[straining]
[gasps]
♪ Happy ♪
♪ St. Cthonk's Day! ♪
[singsongy cackle]
Is this a sex dream or a sex nightmare?
Why not both?
These are my brothers, Growp, Mowp, Flowp and Wrnkaw.
[squawks]
We're so thrilled to welcome you
into our family, Dr. Sleech.
We can feel your deep, deep sadness.
Is it to do with the patient you lost?
You told them about that?
We share everything. Even digestive salivas.
[squawks]
Your pain is so intense.
Mowp, Dr. Sleech is a private person...
who should talk about this.
We might be helpful. We often process as a unit.
[chuckles awkwardly] Huh.
But first, presents.
The better to cook our evening dinners.
- A new lab coat. - I know how much yours chafes.
[gasps] Our favorite board game.
To bring our happy childhood into our happy adulthood.
[sobbing]
[crying softly]
♪ ♪
It's cash.
- My gift is cash. - I love cash.
Thank you. Open yours.
Yes, open your gift,
and then open your emotions to us.
You know, I think you should have family time.
We do need roughly 11 hours of focused intimacy per day.
Are you sure, Dr. Sleech?
You and I could spend some time together.
Nope, nope,
you guys should get in your hours.
Happy St. Cthonk's Day.
Oh! Look, one of my favorite holes.
- [fading yelling] - [distant clatter]
[groans]
Oh!
♪ ♪
[gasps]
[groans excitedly]
St. Cthonk!
The biographies all say he had
horrible teeth and there they are,
each one pointing a different direction.
The GHU needs absolute confirmation
that this is Cthonk's dead body.
You can count on me.
I've been preparing to stick my hands
in this corpse my whole life.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'll see you tonight at Mom's.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
my footnotes won't proofread themselves.
[Klak clears throat]
Dr. Klak, initiating autopsy on St. Cthonk.
The "St." stands for scientist.
The snaggle-toothed reason I love science.
♪ ♪
Ugh.
There appears to be a nutrient-rich sponge
threaded into the subject's esophagus.
According to St. Cthonk's diaries,
he favored vine mash with peas. [chuckles softly]
Why would a dead body need food?
Hmm. Embryonic seedlings?
Exposure to light and oxygen
seems to be catalyzing rapid germination. [gasps]
An Ek-Vard-Ech vine.
But they're extinct.
According to the Bunork printings of Cthonk's diaries,
Ek-Vard-Ech vines were gentle, symbolizing peace.
[choking] Not gentle...
[gasping for air]
[humming, munching]
Whoa. Whoa!
[grunts]
Whoa.
Oh, hey. Do you mind?
Oh, sorry. Whoa!
Wait...
No, uh, I think I need my TurboPod.
I got to do a thing.
[exhales slowly]
Okay.
Could you drop me at Crunchy Screechies?
Sure.
[screeching]
- Here we are. - Thanks.
♪ ♪
Titsky sorry!
It's Cthonk o'clock.
[lively music plays]
Yeah! [laughing]
Do you want to come on my errand?
[grunting]
Mmm. Oh, this will be fun.
Why does your hair look weird?
Mm.
I already told you,
if you don't keep your hand out of the way,
you're going to lose it!
Nurse Tup...
- I'm concerned for your safety. - Her safety?
I am not letting the hospital fall apart on my watch.
Likewise, I'm also not letting the hospital
fall apart on my watch, too...
either!
It's almost as if this vine is guarding the body.
- Successfully. - Klak.
Hi. I can't breathe.
- [gasps] - [Klak choking]
[grunting]
[Azel] How do we kill it?
The Ek-Vard-Ech Plant went extinct
when the atmosphere hit...
Pollution Level 26!
We need unpurified air. The window!
[both grunting]
[coughs]
[sighs]
You're here. It's fate.
No, it's not.
I was at a black-tie Cthonk's Day orgy
when I heard from a GHU friend you were doing the autopsy.
An orgy? Cool.
So, here I am.
You're the only other person I've met
who's read every first-person account.
I love first-person accounts,
they're so... poorly spelled.
Would you allow me to scrub in with you, Dr. Klak?
I would allow you to anything. [chuckles]
Thanks be to bone.
[sighs]
You're not going to ask me
about my sigh and what it might mean?
What?
I've been hanging out with Plowp too much.
[upbeat music plays]
Oh!
[lively chatter, laughter]
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Rides to ride! - Injuries to tend!
[both groaning]
- Whoa! Was that involuntary? - [groans]
Hey, Matt, Matt? You okay?
Let me look at your pupils.
Are you experiencing burning
- or tightness? - I'm all good.
My foot slipped. Let's go!
♪ ♪
[laughs, coughs]
[player] Ow!
Darbo? Where's Darbo?
[grunts] Whoa!
[all exclaim]
[yells]
[sighs]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[maniacal laughter]
[groans]
Matt!
It's almost as if something's
trying to keep us from doing this.
We should pause.
Assess our level of risk, physical and professional.
You want to stop the autopsy of St. Cthonk on St. Cthonk's Day?
The day that celebrates curiosity and exploration?
The day the bone chose me.
It stresses me out when your eyes get this round.
So, when did you stop putting science first?
Excuse me?
You taught me to take risks.
I guess as we age, we all give up a little.
[chuckles] I must have also taught you
these excellent skills of manipulation.
This is your surgery, Doctor.
It is, isn't it?
[radiating groans]
- Do you hear something? - No.
[growls]
A collection tube runs from the subject's intestine
to an organic waste compressor.
A toilet? For old, compacted feces?
Beautiful inference, Dr. Azel.
This is... fun.
A hard word for you to say. [chuckles] I'm hard.
I mean, it's hard.
It-It's hard, to have fun in this world, obviously.
I was looking at Glurg's patient file again.
That parasite had such wide-reaching possibilities.
The surgeon I used to be might have kept the case.
Isn't that silly?
[sighing]
What if...? [chuckles nervously]
What if I told you that the parasite died,
but we've clandestinely kept its offspring alive,
and what if I said we desperately need your help?
There's another one?
And you didn't report it?
- I-I thought... - [growling]
[shouting]
[growling]
Aah!
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
- [groaning] - They must have been called here,
at a frequency outside our standard range!
It has to be coming from Cthonk!
[radiating groans]
- [groaning] - [panting]
[breathing heavily]
[groans]
This limp hair indicates
something seriously wrong with you.
Whoa!
I see you have somewhere to be.
[panting]
[Sleech] How are you moving so fast?
I guess this is as good a time as any
to learn how to drive.
Uh...
Ha!
[coughing]
Perfect.
Oh.
[munching]
[all shivering]
[sighs of relief]
[exclaims]
♪ ♪
[panting]
No!
[grunting]
No, no, no, no, no.
[muffled groan]
[straining]
No!
Matt!
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
All right, we're stopping this autopsy.
I'm calling the GHU.
No, we're pushing on.
Why?
If you say the word "bone" one more time...
I know it's stupid, but when I was a kid,
I choked on the bone and got excited,
and my mom said, "Klak, darling,
I can't condone magical thinking in this house,"
and she made me throw it out.
Yeah, and you're fine.
Do I seem fine?
That's right when the anxiety started.
You know that's not evidence. That's anecdotal.
Logically, I know that, but I still have to do this.
This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come.
Why did you?
I obviously came for you.
You shouldn't have kept going, Klak.
Not with this. And not with this parasite.
I mistook you blindly following "fate"
for being confident and self-possessed.
But you don't make decisions.
Your anxiety makes them for you.
It's why you'll never be a great surgeon.
And it's why we'll never work.
I'm sorry. I'm angry.
I'm going to go steal food from the cafeteria.
I genuinely believe I am too talented to pay.
[sighs]
Please strike the last 90 seconds, which irreparably
- devastated me to my core. - [electronic garble]
Reviewing all the combined elements,
the below-freezing temperature at which the body is stored,
the nutrition dispensary, the waste compartment,
it seems to be a...
a primitive form of cryogenic freezing.
[gasps] He's not dead.
I'm not dead!
[both yelling]
[gasping for air]
Matt.
[both] Oh!
Matt! You're hot again.
Thank you.
I feel hot again. [exhales]
The water here always fixes my hair.
Oh, it's the water.
It must have nutrients your species needs to survive.
Whoa.
[Sleech] Hot pod bodies.
Oh, yeah.
Family, meet Sleech. Sleech, my family.
Your entire family is hibernating?
Why aren't you with them?
I was.
But I got distracted by a life-changing sunset.
I missed my one chance to hibernate with them.
So now I just come visit and talk to the pods.
You missed it all for a sunset?
You really do live in the moment, don't you?
Thanks for saving me.
Yeah, thanks for almost dying.
It distracted me.
Holidays are hard.
If I'm not working,
then I have to think about the fact
that I have nowhere to be.
I don't ever really have a place to be either.
Almost dying with you is the most fun
I've ever had on this holiday.
Me, too.
[zapping]
[sizzling]
Why am I awake? I should be frozen.
- [chuckles nervously] - How did you get past my traps?
Traps? I'm so sorry.
I'm Dr. Karpo Klakkerot. Dr. Klak for short.
I'm performing your autopsy.
We can just put what's outside back in your insides.
You're my hero.
I'm sorry I took your body apart.
I'm your hero?
Does this mean people don't think
I'm a sick, twisted monster?
What? No.
You're famous for inventing teleportation
and then disappearing without a trace.
[Cthonk laughing]
[cackles]
I've escaped the fury of the villagers and the GHU.
The GHU?
GHU almost ruined everything.
They tried to constrain me.
The mind of a generation.
So I froze myself to wait until civilization collapsed.
But it appears you woke me up a couple years early.
[Klak] Why were they trying to constrain you?
You're brilliant.
So a few kids wound up with yo-yos for eyeballs
and tentacles for arms.
That's science, baby!
You hurt kids?
For science?
Exactly. For science. Exploration at any cost.
You get me. I know that look in your eyes.
I have it, too. You and me, we're the same.
Wow. I smell.
This isn't in any of your diaries.
If it's done right, science is shameful and disgusting.
St. Cthonk, we ask that you come with us.
Where are you taking me?
In the year 12,009, you committed
terrible acts in the name of science.
You're under arrest.
[grunting]
We really should have seen that one coming.
So the GHU was after Cthonk.
I'd appreciate it if you didn't let this get out.
I guess it's true what they say. Don't unfreeze your heroes.
[playful cackling, giggles]
Ooh?
Brothers, please. I would like a moment alone with Dr. Sleech.
[all squawk]
Forgive me for earlier.
Our species is used to a ridiculous level of closeness.
I... am not.
I know. I like the way you are.
Oh. Open my gift.
I know how much you enjoy watching other doctors
be less good at surgery than you.
It's amazing.
I have to break up with you.
- [all gasp] - [Plowp] Wow.
Okay. I did not see that coming.
And that's rare for me.
I can't give you gifts like this.
I am not thoughtful, and I am not good at talking
or-or feeling, or-or prolonged eye contact.
I see.
I can feel that you're... How do I phrase this?
Do you think you're afraid of a deeper connection?
Uh, of course I am.
Breaking up is a great solution.
Do you want these back?
No, please, keep it with my affection.
Take Dr. Klak.
I hope you get something
emotionally satisfying with my cash.
Okey doke. Bye-bye.
[squawky sobbing]
You did a good job today, Vlam.
Most people are shamelessly stupid,
and well, your stupidity has shame.
Thank you.
I heard you were working with an embedded teleport.
We couldn't do what we do without you.
I know, I deserve more. I need a raise, Florky.
But you love it here. You'd never leave.
Yeah, you're basically trapped.
Ha-ha! Bye.
[groans]
Oh, good. Listen to this.
I actually kind of need...
Cthonk is a horrible monster, and I just helped him escape.
Also, Azel did what Azel does best.
Broke my heart.
I know I've said this before, but this is it.
I'm done for real this time, okay?
I don't want Azel in my life. They're toxic.
You wouldn't believe how patronizing Azel was
- about Larvin. - You told Azel about Larvin?
[sighs] We needed help, and I thought that Azel...
You told them? Don't you get it?
If you fail, you have so much to fall back on.
This experiment and this career is all I have.
You just threw that away
for the off chance that Azel flirts with you.
Y-Your fixations are out of control...
the bone, Azel...
Of course this isn't the last time you'll talk about Azel.
It never is.
It's exhausting, Klak.
You're right.
Klak, wait.
Now I have the magic bone.
Now all the good things will happen to me.
[buzzing]
Oh.
[gasps, groans]
Whoa.
♪ ♪
[munching]
♪ This is the ballad of Cthonk...
[choking]
Oh, you got the bone.
Long time!
Want to meet at our spot off the grid?
Can you bring some money and pants?
We used to date.
[singing, laughter continue]
♪ And a promise to explore ♪
[squawking]
♪ Soon you'll be walking shore to shore ♪♪
[electronic blipping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[Azel] It's why you'll never be great.
[Cthonk] We're the same.
- [Azel] It's why... - [Sleech] It's exhausting...
[Cthonk] We're the same.
[Azel] It's why you'll never be great.
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[chaotic voices overlapping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
Why do you say the things you say?
[Klak] No.
[voices stop]
♪ ♪
Chirp.